Cheap Date is i-D’s new series where we take our crushes out for under $40, get to know them, and have a good old fashioned hang.
Since he began making music, pop star Conan Gray has been writing about heartbreak, despite never going on a single date. “I was almost trying to write to understand what they would feel like,” he says. That changed with Wishbone, his surprise new album inspired by an actual breakup. Over the course of two years, mostly in secret, he wrote more than 300 songs about everything he went through. Twelve made the final tracklist.
I first met Gray in New York in early 2019, when he headlined Bowery Ballroom for his debut EP Sunset Season, co-produced by Dan Nigro. Nigro would later help hone the sonic vision of artists like Chappell Roan and Olivia Rodrigo; Gray, meanwhile, went on to work with pop powerhouses like Max Martin. Wishbone marks his reuninon with Nigro, and like Gray’s earlier records—and Roan’s and Rodrigo’s, for that matter—it blisters with the feeling of someone fucking you up, big time. It’s also his most grown-up work yet: cinematic, lush, and sore.
Not to reopen wounds, but I wanted to hear how it came together. So we met for a cheap date at the London restaurant Ara. He ordered skate, I ordered the braised cabbage situation, and together we shared strawberries and cream. And the bill went to his label. . Thank you Republic Records. <3
Douglas Greenwood: Do you like ordering for people?
Conan Gray: I’m scared to even order my own food. I have friends who will order for the whole table, and I just appear. When I’m not eating in a restaurant I’m eating the same thing every single day.
What is it?
Salmon and broccoli. I’m eating a lot of salmon. Omega-3 is really important for your brain.
Where are you living these days?
I’m living in LA, but with touring I’m everywhere. I spend a good chunk of time in London because I have a lot of friends here.
Where have they taken you?
We went to this bar called A Bar with Shapes for a Name. I don’t drink much, so I just got a ham roll.
Let’s talk about the album. It’s pretty incriminating.
I know! It’s quite intense. I make my best music when I’m a little uncomfortable with how much I’m revealing. This was my secret project for two years, and now talking about it openly feels like betraying myself. I’m literally having to face the music.
Sometimes you have to really go through something to make something you’re proud of.
Publicly, I try to function normally. What people hear on the album is what I’m not saying out loud—because it’s brash, or immature, or just too much. But I think I finally know what I’m actually saying. At some point, you realize: This is probably who I’m going to be forever. I’ve solidified a bit. The jello is really jello. I say that, but who knows? Next year I might get a buzz cut and face tattoos.
So… problem solved?
I’d love to say yes, but no. Ask me next week!
Wishbone feels tied to superstitions. On “11:11,” you mention throwing salt over your shoulder and four-leaf clovers. Do you believe in that?
I don’t, which is why it fascinated me. During that time, I got paranoid, but I also romanticized fate. I gave meaning to coincidental things—numbers on a microwave, star signs, seeing someone’s initials in strange places. I kept hoping the universe would explain what the fuck was going on.
You’re back with Dan Nigro on this album. What does he mean to you?
Dan adopted me, basically. I legitimately went from being a Texas high schooler—no nepo story, nothing—straight into his arms. He’s truly like a father to me and Olivia and to Kayleigh [Chappell Roan].
“I was there during the painting of the Mona Lisa”
conan gray on being the first to hear “diet pepsi”
Is it true you were the first person to hear Addison’s “Diet Pepsi”?
Yeah. I’m close with Luka [Kloser] and Elvira [Anderfjärd], who made Addison’s record. It was their first day working together, and I stopped by with a friend. I’d met Addison a few times—she’s insanely talented and hardworking. They played me just the chorus, and I said, “This is awesome. Please finish this.” They did their magic, and it’s a smash. I was there during the painting of the Mona Lisa.
Before you hang out with someone, platonic or otherwise, how much digging do you do?
This feels pointed. I 100% know your home address [before we hang]. It’s become an issue though… should tell this story?
Absolutely.
When I was younger, I was obsessed with Josh Hutcherson after Bridge to Terabithia. I learned everything about him. Watched every movie. When he was cast in The Hunger Games, I was like, You don’t even get it. I met him maybe a year ago—he’s from Kentucky. We were talking; he’d never met me before, and I go, You’re from Kentucky, right? Tried to play it off like he’d mentioned it. Anyway, Josh Hutcherson, if you’re reading this: You’re a legend, and I’m sorry I knew you were from Kentucky and on the basketball team.
You’ve been kissing people recently. What’s your lip balm?
This is gross, but I had an era where I had insanely chapped lips, because I was on medication for my skin, and it was like, fucking up my life. The only solution that worked was this thing called nipple balm—don’t look at my boobs right now. It’s made for people who are breastfeeding, because, I mean I don’t know, I’ve never breastfed, but I’d imagine it gets quite intense. So thank you to the nipple community for my nourished lips.
What’s on your Instagram Explore page?
Do you know this thing called tide pooling? When the tide goes low, all of these little pools are revealed in the beach, and you can find the most incredible creatures. When I was living in San Diego as a kid, it was like magic. You would go out to the beach and there’d be neon purple little sea slugs called nudibranchs, which are poisonous and beautiful. There’d be sea anemones and crabs, and maybe an octopus. That’s a lot of my explore page. Also fossils and old Hollywood audition tapes. I don’t need to see real people today, I need to see sea slugs.
Last question: Who gets the check?
If you’re on a date, it stresses me out when there’s a debate, so I’ll just pay for it. I don’t need to end my wonderful dinner with a fight.
Conan Gray’s ‘Wishbone’ is out on Friday 15 August.