Cristiano Ronaldo spent time in Washington last week with Saudi Arabia Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, United States President Donald Trump and Fifa president Gianni Infantino. Elon Musk was there too, so you might reason that he has served enough punishment. The only complication: Ronaldo looked delighted throughout. Truly a shock to us all.
On Tuesday, news broke that Fifa had magically removed the extra two games from Ronaldo’s suspension for elbowing Ireland’s Dara O’Shea in the back. The usual three-match ban – in the past reduced to two games – would have seen him miss matches at next year’s World Cup. Now one of the showpiece players will be available. You might be able to read between the lines, given the gap looks as big as an ocean. At least the worst people in your social media replies will be delighted.
Delightfully, Fifa have instead imposed a suspended ban for a further year for any other naughty behaviour. A statement said: “In line with article 27 of the Fifa Disciplinary Code, the serving of the two remaining matches has been suspended under a one-year probation period.” For clarity, Article 27 states that “the judicial body may decide to fully or partially suspend the implementation of a disciplinary measure”. No reason is necessary, according to the code.
That is unprecedented. It does at least create a wonderful sport within a sport during Portugal’s matches: make-Ronaldo-lose-it-again-ball, like a human game of Buckaroo. Probably more entertaining than watching Roberto Martinez try to win a major tournament.
The principal point, obviously, is that this stinks. Rules exist for a reason and the supposition is that they are applied with regularity across the board. This felt so blatant, and so egregious, a result that I (foolishly) assumed that even Fifa would not try it. And yes, that’s on me.
Try it out for a minute. Consider a hypothetical example of a “normal” player – perhaps one who doesn’t get the White House invite and isn’t treated by the leader of the free-ish world like a visiting dignitary. Imagine them being sent off for violent conduct and imagine too them getting a free probationary year that just happens to allow full inclusion in the World Cup. If you’re not laughing by the second act at the risibility of it all, you’re crying with frustration.
We know why Ronaldo was in Washington because the leader of the state in which he plays football was there too. This was a further firming of relations between the US and Saudi Arabia that Trump has been particularly keen on pushing.
Is this as important, or as unforgivable, as any of the other stuff – casts arms impossibly wide? No. Does Ronaldo’s availability for a group game or two move the needle? No. Is this even surprising? No. But that’s not the point. The whole point of major tournaments is that they are a sporting meritocracy with no VIP passes other than how you play.
There is also a depression fatigue to all this, reinforced by the sheer predictability of the whole thing. But hear this: this is how they win. We are allowed to get annoyed by this stuff. We should get annoyed by this stuff. Because it reflects the creep of something that eats away at what matters and because it stinks.
It isn’t meant to be like this, dispiriting decisions played out on a loop while we’re expected to gobble it up without questioning the taste. The only bad news for Ronaldo is that his violent conduct probably means that he will miss out on the inaugural Fifa Peace Prize, to be awarded in Washington next week by Infantino. Hard to know who’s the favourite for that…
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