In a cosy lounge in north London a young man in a tuxedo is preparing to sing. Ted Mayer, 17, is not nervous. He is a well-known face at Cheverton Lodge Care Home, where he’s been singing for years.
Festive jingling breaks out from Ted’s speaker and he launches into his Christmas set. A seasoned volunteer, he has been singing in care homes and hospitals since he was six years old. Ted’s charm has won over many in the audience, particularly the older ladies.
But it’s not for everyone. Jeanette Hodes, 92, offers an impatient “come on, get on with it,” and leans back in her chair. As Ted transitions into a velvety rendition of Fred Astaire’s Cheek to Cheek Hodes props herself up on her elbow and beams; on a nearby trolley a cat’s cradle has caught her eye. The loop of string is quickly brought over to her.
• Donate to The Times and Sunday Times Christmas Appeal
Jeanette Hodes, 92, plays cat’s cradle
TIMES PHOTOGRAPHER JACK HILL
Soon enough she is transported to the playground of her youth, offering cheerfully-recalled anecdotes from when she learnt double dutch with friends as her mother could not afford to buy her a Sindy doll. When asked what she was like as a child she smiles and replies, “useless”, but says she certainly knew how to have fun and spent a lot of time trying to keep up with her brothers.
Looking on fondly is Jill Fraser, 68, the founder of Kissing it Better (KiB), a charity working to reduce isolation in the elderly through intergenerational friendships, which is being supported by The Times and Sunday Times Christmas Appeal.
Fraser is making her way around the room with a trolley of eclectic vintage treasures. An original Paddington Bear lazes against a well-loved Spirograph set. A faded Beatrix Potter hardback, Jackie magazine and biography of Lord Mountbatten are stacked on top of one another.
Fraser’s team of volunteers prepared the items as reminiscence is thought to be a powerful tool for striking up much-needed conversation in the elderly, particularly those suffering from dementia who are isolated from the community on hospital wards or in care homes.
Anna Giannotti, 63, an art psychotherapist who is paid for a few hours a week by KiB on top of her usual NHS rota, says one can never be sure what will cause a memory to stir but when it does, it is a “triumph against the odds”.
“Sometimes the elderly are hesitant to get involved as they may be worried about their lack of dexterity or other times they can be confused as to why we are there, but often we find that when they do get involved, they just become their complete selves. I feel very humbled. It could be any of us in the future,” she says.
Students often join to complete the volunteer section of their Duke of Edinburgh’s Award but Fraser says there has been an influx of older volunteers since the start of this year’s charity campaign. There is no age limit. She simply asks anyone who comes along to have an open mind and get stuck in. In the pandemic the volunteers sang on patios outside open hospital windows and in recent weeks they have handed out festive goodie bags in public areas as some wards have closed due to the outbreak of flu. Those who choose to help are encouraged to bring their personality and existing skills.
Alexi Prati, 18, a children’s nursing student at the University of Surrey, says: “There’s always a story there. We just have to find it.”
Prati, who started volunteering with KiB in Dorset two years ago, strikes up a conversation with one of the more hesitant residents, who chats and giggles with her, and offers a short contemporary dance to Keane’s Somewhere Only We Know.
“Sometimes the patients we deal with, especially with dementia, will hear music or see an item and it brings up a memory,” she says. “Perhaps they went to the theatre and heard the song, then they’ll reminisce.”
As others make polite requests for Ted to sing Frank Sinatra, one resident scoffs. “[Sinatra] is alright,” Helen Bright-Chard, 87, says with a furrowed brow. Elegantly dressed in a floral skirt and velvet slippers, she reveals her preference for “Elvis the pelvis” and says she used to attend balls and go ice skating at this time of year. When a tattered and well-thumbed comic book is thrust towards her she says she likes to read only “proper books”.
Alexi Prati, 18, with Helen Bright-Chard, 87
TIMES PHOTOGRAPHER JACK HILL
The youngest volunteer of the day, Mariella Hafalla, 16, finds the candour of the older generation refreshing. “I really enjoyed the session where we talked about traditions, and what the residents did when they were younger,” she says. “We compared our day-to-day lives once and it made me realise the importance of traditional memories. I found out how people used to go outside all of the time but now we are all online so it has helped me to realise the importance of going outside. Once, an old man spoke of being in nature, then he went on about the conker game and started to show us how to play. For my generation that’s banned in school so I like learning about these things.”
Find out more about the Christmas appeal and donate by calling 0151 286 1594 or by clicking the button below.