I was out for a ride recently with my friend Bernard. As happens rather frequently these days, my computer ran out of battery. It does not believe in giving me much notice of this – it flashes up a message, counts to ten in its head, and dies. It’s old and grouchy and it finds it hard to summon much energy these days. In many respects it and Bernard are fellow travellers.

I don’t think I did anything to give it away, but my friend noticed the screen had gone blank.

“Lost your little friend, have you?” he said. “How are you going to cope now? You won’t know what watts you’re doing.”

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Dr Hutch

Multiple national road champion on the bike and award-winning author Michael Hutchinson writes for Cycling Weekly every week.

He’s quite hostile to a lot of modern technology. Basically he objects to anything that needs a battery, because cycling is about honest physical work. There’s an element of hypocrisy – he’ll use a TV remote control, and if you tried to interest him in the authenticity of our parents’ generation, where everyone either got up to change the channel or organised their family so that there was an eternal supply of seven-year-olds to do it for them, he’d think you were an idiot.

I’ll admit that I almost agree with him. There are days when I get in from a ride and have to carry out a sort of charging audit. Things I use regularly that need charging include a computer, a power meter, a heart rate monitor, front and rear lights, gears, phone, and (bone conduction) headphones.

Their charging demands slip in and out of phase so that some days I need charge nothing, some days I need to find eight charging cables, in types covering the last fifteen years of standards from USB micro to USB-C, plus the weird charger for the gears. I know an engineer who’s created a hydra-headed wiring loom so he can do everything at once while it’s still on the bike. It makes his bike look like it’s in intensive care.

It’s a dirty trick that the charging periods are so varied. My computer needs charging almost every day if I use the backlight. The front and rear lights are a matching set, but one needs to be charged 25% more often than the other. The Di2 gears need to be done maybe once or twice a season – honestly, it’s so rare that it’s more like a service issue. It’s designed to make you forget about it till it goes flat abruptly at the most amusing point of a ride, like halfway up Hardknott Pass.

I could never have made a success of a secret motor, because it would never have been charged. On the final climb of the Tour of Flanders I’d have hit the secret trigger and just got that bloop-bloop-bloop noise a pair of dying headphones makes.

I can understand where Bernard is coming from. I remember when the only thing on my bike that needed a battery was a little Cateye computer that took an LR44 button battery. It needed changed about every two years. And it didn’t matter if you forgot because the computer didn’t really work anyway. The most interesting thing you could do with it was wind the wire connecting the wheel sensor very carefully and artistically around the front brake cable, thus demonstrating your attention to detail.

Cycling then was no different from cycling now. I don’t think it was better or worse. The main downside was there was less data to obsess over. The main upside was there was less data to obsess over. And those cancel each other out.

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But we are where we are, and I’m not luddite enough to go back on principle. Although I’m not quite ready to buy a rechargeable electric mini-pump. And when I finally get there (and let’s face it, I will) I won’t tell Bernard.