“The last two years I’ve been scared for New Year’s because when I mean scared, I mean scared,” Benn told BoxingScene while at the IBA event in Dubai. “Like, worried over the past few New Year’s Eves because I’m like, I actually don’t know what is coming this year. And I was surprised to make it to the New Year’s. You know, so it’s like, ‘Oh, just pray that this year’s not the same as last year.’ I pray that I can beat these demons in my own head, you know, and for me getting to where I’m at now, I sit and I go, ‘God you’ve been so good, you’ve been so good to me, because ultimately, I couldn’t have written this about myself.’ God knew I’d always come through, even through the darkest days. He knew I’d make it through. And I’ve been teetotal for 15 months, which is the biggest victory for me. Throughout the two years, it was just chaos. It was so hard. It was so challenging. I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror. So then now, just like being fully present with my kids, like looking at my son, just going, ‘I’m so glad I can now be the dad you deserve…’ Outside of this boxing game, because retirement was forced upon me, so I didn’t know how to handle life. I didn’t even realise I didn’t know how to deal with life, because I’d always have a target or a goal or a date. So I didn’t have a moment to actually see if I can handle life, let alone all the other noises going on around me. It was a double whammy of everything.”
