Amy just can’t stop hitting that ‘buy’ button (Picture: Getty Images)
With the average first-time buyer deposit now at over £68,000, most of us need to cut our cloth to get on the property ladder.
Despite her enviable £85,000 salary, this week’s Money Problem reader, Amy, is among those finding it hard to save — but her issues have nothing to do with the cost of living.
The 34-year-old from Birmingham is a self-confessed shopping addict, blowing cash on updating her wardrobe rather than building her nest egg.
Desparate to get a handle on her finances and become a homeowner, Amy reached out to Metro consumer champion, Sarah Davidson, for help.
The problem…
I know this is my own fault but I’m struggling to save a deposit to buy my first home because I keep spending money. I order something almost every day — clothes, shoes, bags.
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It was bad enough when I was buying from shops but now I’m completely addicted to buying second hand through apps and I convince myself I need something because it’s such good value.
Deliveries arriving provides a major dopamine hit (Picture: Getty Images)
My boyfriend and I want to buy a house together and he’s been really good at saving his half of the deposit. He’s now got just under £15,000 in his Lifetime ISA, whereas I’ve been saving for the same amount of time but have only got £1,890 in my account.
I finally came clean with him and said I haven’t been saving what I said I would. He’s fuming. I earn £85,000 a year as a recruiter and he’s on £55,000.
I do want to buy the house — I just can’t stop myself from hitting the buy button on my phone.
What’s your advice for Amy’s situation?
Focus on saving for the house to build a secure future.Check
Discuss with her boyfriend about setting mutual financial goals.Check
Seek professional help to manage her shopping habits.Check
Consider if homeownership is truly what she wants.Check
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The answer…
I have a question for you Amy. Do you actually want to buy this house? You seem to like buying everything else (I empathise, I’m a shopper too).
There are two ways to look at this and I can’t quite tell which side of the coin you’re on. Heads, you don’t want to buy the house and are making excuses. Tails, you have a shopping addiction you are not in control of and you’ve lied to your boyfriend as a result.
I’ll be honest, I can’t help you on the first of those scenarios – that’s one for you and your boyfriend to figure out. If it’s the latter however, there are several things you can do.
More Metro Money Problems
Being addicted to shopping is just the same as being addicted to smoking, alcohol or gambling. And all addictions ultimately stem from the same need: dopamine, the feel-good hormone released in your brain when you get pleasure from something.
This situation is almost certainly not about clothes or shoes but about your need for the rush you get when you buy something, and then again when you receive it.
It’s hard to stop the cycle because you are literally depriving your brain of a chemical it has got used to having. It’s a drug like any other and you’re going to suffer withdrawal.
Sarah says it’ll all feel worth it when she gets the keys (Picture: Getty Images)
Right, that bitter pill swallowed, here’s how you could go about it.
Make it harder to shop on your phone. Delete your digital wallet, delete your saved card details, delete all buy now, pay later apps, delete all shopping apps, take any social media apps you shop through off your phone.
Have a rule — anything you want to buy, save it and wait 24 hours.
Use tech do the heavy lifting. You’re currently saving into a Lifetime ISA and that’s a great idea given you’re saving a deposit to buy your first home. But how you do that practically can have a big impact.
There are loads of apps that help you save in the background without you having to do a thing. Try Plum or Moneybox.
A lot of banks now also allow you automatically sweep money into a savings account as you spend, and some current accounts now let you set up ‘pots’ where you can ringfence money for certain things.
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Create a pot called ‘money I didn’t spend on clothes’. Every time you don’t buy something, put the money you would have spent into this pot. Then, set up a rule to transfer the money in that pot into your Lifetime Isa at the end of each week — once it’s in there it’s a lot harder to spend.
It’s a good idea to set up a standing order to make a regular fixed payment into your LISA as well — this doesn’t need to be a lot. Start with £25 a week if you need to.
Finally, make the motivation tangible. Create a Pinterest board and satisfy your scrolling need by finding all the things you can get for your home once you’ve bought it.
Walking into your new home will give you the same dopamine hit — and it’ll be a big one by the time it comes.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
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