A Reddit user (Own-Mud5321) who is among the top 1% of posters on the platform shared a thread about his personal views. The title of his post is ‘ Not having kids is the best financial/mental health decision anyone can take’ and he is a 31-year- old single guy. He mentioned that having a child can really impact your mental well-being and your finances. According to him, having a kid can derail years of all the financial progress you’ve worked hard for.
What did he say?He (Own-Mud5321) said on Reddit, “This might sound a bit controversial, but I said what I said. As an unmarried 31M, I think most couples don’t decide to have kids — they just end up having them. At most they plan ‘when’ to have kids, but not ‘should’ we have kids.”People think it is just the next “expected” step after marriage, like getting into 8th class after finishing 7th class, there is no planning or thinking about it.The toll a child takes on you mentally, especially financially is severely underestimated, and will set you back years of all the financial progress you made in your life.Having a child is expensiveThe Reddit user (Own-Mud5321) further said:
“From decent education to medical, food, clothing, and other extracurricular expenses — raising a child comfortably in urban India easily runs into crores over 18-20 years. That’s assuming everything goes smoothly. Think of all the things you could do with that money if (there were) no kids!But it’s not just money. Why would anyone want to choose this lifestyle.For example, today is a weekend, and I see parents in my society not sleeping in, but driving their children around to some dance/karate/swimming etc., classes. My married friends are discussing about schools, joining dates, books, complaining about high fees etc. Feels like we just finished our own school/college days, and I can’t imagine how anyone re-live it all over again”.“Don’t even get me started on the multiple doctor visits, buying clothes, toys, the crying, screaming, etc. I wonder how many parents out there regret having kids even though they can’t share it with anyone. I also think it’s regressive when people say becoming a mother is the greatest fulfillment for a woman. Mothers are put on a pedestal and expected to be all noble & self-sacrificing for the kids/family while expecting nothing in return. My intention is not to look down on parenthood — but just a reminder for the singles/non-parent couples out there that parenthood isn’t compulsory. It’s okay to opt out and say, “That life is not for me.”He said on Reddit: “The only reason anyone should have kids is because they have real paternal instincts of nurturing/protecting. Not because it is expected from parents/society, or because they are an investment for your old age.”Several other Reddit users agreed with himOne user, ‘NoMedicine3572’ commented: “These days, more people are choosing not to have kids. Life’s getting expensive, work takes up most of the time, and there’s hardly any support system. Owning a home feels out of reach, and for many, the world just doesn’t seem like the kind of place they’d want to raise a child in.”

A user named ‘blackandlavender’ said: “As a mother of two, I agree. Not because I regret having kids (it will be a long time before I can comment on that), but because it is indeed a thankless and relentless job, and I agree that not having kids is a perfectly valid and understandable choice. And indeed, most people have kids because they’re conformists (goes for me as well).”

A Reddit user going by the name ‘pressing_o’ said in reply to him:

“I agree that there are certain people who are not fit to be parents and there should be some sort of entrance exam for qualification. As a childfree person much older than you, not everything in life can be a financial decision. You are not a bank account and you cannot raise your portfolio. You cannot teach your shares to meaningfully contribute to the society. Your shares won’t love you unconditionally and you won’t be willing to give your life for your mutual funds.”“As for mental peace, yes, agreed that nobody will bother you but nobody will love you like them either. Ask those parents who wake up early on weekends if they would trade their children for a few hours of sleep. There is absolutely no obligation on them to do that. Finally, you need to learn that money is only a means to an end, not the end itself. All of this is applicable if you raise your children right and have a good relationship with your parents.”
Also read: How much money is truly enough to be happy? Define your relationship with money through self-awareness, not social pressureDo you agree with this perspective of life?Abhishek Kumar, SEBI RIA, founder of Sahaj Money, said to ET Wealth Online:”While I respect the choice of the person who posted this in Reddit and agree that indeed it might require a lot of money to raise a kid till the time he/she becomes an adult, but I would disagree with his point of view. Bringing a child to this world is an emotional decision and to quote from the book “The Selfish Gene” is a selfish decision as human beings want to increase the chances of survival of their genes. Also, most people want to leave behind a legacy. The amount of money that one spends for schooling, vaccinations, childcare, maintenance, is like an investment i.e. one is doing to create an human asset of your own who can one day take your place and carry on with your gene pool or legacy. You are lending your name and investing time, money and other resources to make this child capable enough to survive in this world. This is a lifestyle choice that you are making. Sure you won’t be able to enjoy the weekend trips with your friends as you might need to take care of your child, you may even miss the late night parties, etc. But all of these are a voluntary choice, one which is made thinking about the emotional aspect of life – a nice cozy family, a beautiful home and legacy.”The Reddit poster is talking about consumption based theoryKumar says:
“The person who posted this on Reddit is talking about a consumption-based theory. The other theory is emotional and legacy. In consumption theory, a person lives, works, earns and spends it all on himself/herself. In emotional and legacy theory, a person lives, works, earns, saves and then spends some portion. There is an element of savings for the family as the goal is to establish a family line and keep some assets for it too so that the family tree does not stop there.”“If every person in the society started thinking about consumption theory then the society would have collapsed as there would be nobody to reap the benefits of labour put in by the older generation. A nation’s GDP is nothing but consumption and savings by its people, if there are no people left then the economy would collapse slowly and then suddenly.”ET Wealth Online has also spoken to two individuals to get their views on the subject of having a child.

Garima B, married, said: “Today people are smart enough to choose the life they want, the hardship and reward they want. Having a kid can be very handful and tiring but is rewarding at the same time. It goes the same for someone who wants to build a startup over having a child. It will be hard but rewarding. Challenges and hardships will come without a kid also, so at the end its a lifestyle choice and choosing the hardship we are comfortable with- i.e. with a kid or without.”

A.S.,married with kids, said: “My personal opinion is that time as an asset is irreversible. Finances and resources can be topped up as per the effort put in. But once the time goes away, you can’t get it back. So young people in their 20s to 30s who are chasing growth, success, money, etc might not realise that by the time they feel ‘satisfied’ with the growth, success, money, etc they might cross the age barrier for having a kid. So then their bloodline legacy would stop. The problem with money is there is not enough. Whatever be the amount — 10 crore, 20 crore, 100 crore — it’s never enough, it is like a bottomless pit. Hence I am of the thought that one should have a balanced approach i..e have a family, kids, and earn enough money to maintain the family and leave behind an inheritance for the kids.”