OK, let’s not beat about the bush. Rivals, Jilly Cooper’s bonkbuster, is back, so you’ll be wanting to know about the sex. Come on — it’s what everyone else asks.

Well, I can tell you there is lots of it: swimming pool sex, hot tub sex, shower sex, staircase sex, bare buttocks being thwacked with a riding crop. If you thought the new series (out on Friday on Disney+) would be dialling down the raunch, think again. Though by Rivals’ standards it does take a while for the first pants to drop. 

You must wait a whole eight minutes before two young male polo players, twins, no less, rip off their trunks and jump into a pool — an entirely gratuitous full-frontal male nudity shot and a synchronised double whammy.

Despite its deliberate corniness, this is also gloriously uplifting television. It is unashamedly celebratory and perhaps even better than the last series, though there is no naked tennis this time, judging by the four episodes I’ve seen. Sorry about that.

Buckle up again for a brazen OTT romp through the 1980s posho set of Rutshire, where everyone seems to be rutting everyone else’s spouse before readjusting their bouffant hairdo and having another glass of champagne. There is a tribute to Cooper, who died last year, at the end of episode one, with a lovely photo that brought a lump to my throat. 

I am not allowed to give away too much about the first four episodes but it’s no spoiler to say that the baddie Tony Baddingham (David Tennant), who was whacked over the head with a gold statuette at the end of series one, did not die, because he is in the new trailer and scowling from all the promo posters. With a scar on his head and a black eye, he plans messy revenge on Cameron (Nafessa Williams), Declan (Aidan Turner) and the dashing cad/MP Rupert Campbell-Black (Alex Hassell), who has captured the heart of Declan’s daughter Taggie (Bella Maclean) and she moons after him all doe-eyed.

The daft plot is ostensibly about a TV franchise war, but really it’s about love and power; the male-dominated willy-waving kind of 1987, an era when Baddingham can say without fear of cancellation to his pregnant employee Sarah that she had better get rid of her “little inconvenience” for the sake of her TV career (I can’t reveal who the father is, but brace yourselves). Then again, one of his TV shows is not shy about its homophobia, threatening to out, in the music industry, “the poofs of pop”.

It’s also an era when, regardless of being with child, Sarah (Emily Atack) doesn’t much reduce her martini or cigarette intake. People seem to smoke all the time, even when on horseback before a polo match. A character is called “Muffy” purely, it seems, to tee-up the double entendre “You’re into Muffy”. There is a great kitchen scene done like a French farce. An underrated character is that of Lady Monica Baddingham (Claire Rushbrook), who is sadly aware of her terrible husband’s shenanigans and walks out of rooms saying, “Come on, dogs!”

Little is taken too seriously in Cooper’s world (one character keeps repeating “Neil Kinnock” to stop becoming aroused and there’s a marmalade-dropping line about Mrs Thatcher), and yet the series still has huge heart. It is tender and well-observed about relationships when it needs to be.

So expect more sensitive yearning between Freddie (Danny Dyer) and Lizzie (Katherine Parkinson) and… well. My lips must be sealed beyond that. Except to say that Aidan Turner (Ross Poldark!) has to pull the most hilariously bad orgasm face in a shower sex scene that I did not care to rewind. Rest assured: there is much to look forward to here. Pop a cork and enjoy.
★★★★★
Episodes 1-3 out on Disney+ on Friday

Love TV? Discover the best shows on Netflix, the best Prime Video TV shows and the best Apple TV+ shows. Don’t forget to check our critics’ choices to watch and our comprehensive TV guide, plus our look at the finest films and TV shows this month