The Internet Had Some Delightful Gems This Week, So Here Are Some Of My Favorites

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Welcome to Only Good Internet, where the takes are mild but the links are strong.

Every once in a while, I awake at night in a cold sweat and think, “I miss old Twitter.” (Quick note: I will not be referring to Twitter by its new name, because I hate it and I doubt much thought was put into it anyway.) I truly think Twitter used to be the internet at its best: It was crowdsourced and democratized in a way that the rest of the internet was quickly ceasing to be, and that meant that information could travel quickly and usually — USUALLY — ended up being fact-checked toward the truth, given enough time. It was also just where all the funniest people on the internet hung out.

So anyway, people started sharing their favorite tweet of all time in this thread (by the way, if you want to share your favorite tweet of all time, please send it to me here or drop it in the comments!), and I’ve been reading through the comments and reminiscing about what we used to have. I personally think about this tweet, like, maybe once a week:

Tweet by murrman5 about being told not to rap tonight because he always raps about Patrick swayze, then cut to later after one beer, he says "uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy"

It’s been 10 YEARS since this tweet!!! Can you believe it?

Here’s another favorite of mine:

Tweet by steph mccann about how banks email you urgently that you have a message in your inbox, then the message is "hello we are your bank"

I had actually never seen this one before, and honestly, it’s evergreen considering there’s a new Jurassic Park movie every couple years:

Tweet by Daniel Kibblesmith about spending four delightful hours in Jurassic Park's passenger pigeon and dodo sanctuary and coming out totally safe

This one proves that the most profound thoughts can come from the most unsettling usernames:

Social media exchange: one user asks if anyone is actually named Sheldon, another user says their turtle, the first user argues that's not a person, and the second user responds "When God sings with his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?" @bigfatmoosepssy / Via x.com

Anyway, send me your favorite tweet of all time here or in the comments, and maybe we’ll share all of them in a future issue. As long as you promise not to call it “X.”

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…That there’s actually a difference between Duck, Duck, Goose and Duck, Duck, Gray Duck:

A humorous social media post compares the games "Duck, Duck, Goose" and "Duck, Duck, Gray Duck," explaining that "Gray Duck" requires players to say different colors and fool people by saying "green duck" for example

If you’re not familiar with Midwest weirdos (it’s me, hi), Minnesotans have long confused the rest of the nation by playing Duck, Duck, Gray Duck instead of Duck, Duck, Goose. And now you know why. And if you read all the way to the end, I hope that last line hit you like a ton of bricks the way it did for me.

Cartoon smiling face in a web frame with the text "Blessed Image Of The Week" in a digital, retro style banner

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Ugh, don’t you hate it when you leave the house and realize that you haven’t charged your cat?

Cat lying on the floor with light filtering through a window, casting a patterned shadow on its back that looks like charging symbol bars

Always remember to take a spare USB-C(at) cable!

Text banner with repeating warning symbols reads: "Cursed Image Of The Week."

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I had to see this abomination of a pie, so now you do, too:

Slice of pie with layers of gelatin, pickles, hot dogs, topped with whipped cream and crushed candy cane on a plate

As far as I can tell, it’s hot dogs and pickles? But then it has whipped cream and crushed candy canes on top??? IDK, just keep it very far away from me.

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I always like to finish every week by leaving you with a little something that I can’t get out of my head. This week (in keeping with our “favorite tweets” theme), it’s all about Flimsy Steve:

Tweet from fixyourheartsor joking about Gorillaz songs, juxtaposing intense fictional lyrics from the guest rapper with a chorus that goes "oooh flimsy steve, where did you go, what have you seen" @fixyourheartsor / Via x.com Retro computer window with "Anyway, Here Are Some Links" text surrounded by multiple cursor icons

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— And he smells like mahogany and leather or something

— I legit feel guilty leaving a store without buying anything

— The art and the artist

— How I feel after the fifth day in a row of 95-degree heat

— I accept this headcanon

That’s all for this week, see you later! And remember, if you want more like this, you can subscribe to the Only Good Internet newsletter (if you want, I mean, don’t let me tell you what to do, ya know?).

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