Photo by Hollie Adams/Getty Images
London is hotter than Brazil! And to be factual, London is always hotter than some parts of Brazil, because Brazil has some large mountains and extends thousands of miles into the southern hemisphere (where it is currently winter). But let’s not let facts get in the way of a more general truth, which is that Britain is sometimes hotter than Africa! It’s also sometimes colder than Moscow! And that is how weather works. But the important point is that when it’s colder than Norway (assuming Norway is having a relatively warm spell), some people get free money. Should a similar system not exist for the summer?
The Winter Fuel Payment is a tax-free £200 that has been given to all pensioners each winter since 1997. Winter Fuel has a nice ring to it; it suggests a puffing, red-cheeked septuagenarian carrying an armful of logs through the snow, and some bureaucratic Wenceslas stopping to cheer them along with a nice little cheque. It is a benefit some pensioners do sincerely need. But millions of other recipients don’t need it, and in a country that is forecast to spend £175bn on pensioners’ benefits this year (compared to, for example, £5bn in benefits for children), there is an argument that it might not be the best use of the country’s funds. But when the government tried to remove it from all but the poorest pensioners, it met with furious opprobrium from the wood-burning classes and was forced into a U-turn that will cost £1.25 billion a year. Labour’s own backbenchers insisted the payment was necessary, having been horrified by the effect that means-testing the payment had on their party’s performance in the local elections.
But now it’s hotter than some parts of Australia, probably, and this suggests a policy idea: having decided that the nation’s pensioners – more than three million of whom live in a household with assets over £1,000,000 – really do need an extra £200 in the winter, those who argued for a universal Winter Fuel Payment should now consider whether a summer air-conditioning subsidy is also needed.
After all, hot weather is effectively a wealth tax. The employed may spend their days in air-conditioned offices (or the sea, if they’re a marine biologist). Where do retirees go when it’s baking, and they’re not on holiday? Sainsbury’s or Waitrose, of course – both are Baltic at this time of year. But the extra time one spends gliding their deliciously cool aisles adds up to a lot more shopping. At home, Victorian houses are notoriously poorly insulated, and the garden must be hosed daily. The cheapest Dyson fan is £250. Fever-Tree is £2.25 a bottle. Why isn’t the triple lock taking all these extra expenses into account?
It’s not much to ask. Pensioners who have paid their way through society, or feel that they have, are surely entitled to a Summer Cool Payment of £200 per household, or £400 if they have to use the Central Line. Just £200 could pay for a month’s supply of Evian facial spray, a pair of linen trousers and one of those neck fans that looks like a big pair of headphones.
And it’s not like the increasingly extreme weather caused by climate change is in any way the fault of today’s retirees, is it?
[See also: In defence of Lord Hermer]
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