Fall is the perfect time to go within, refresh your routine, and engage your senses. Perhaps you take notice of the autumnal leaves, engage in novelty, or even travel.

This change of season, this “newness,” shatters the illusion that your current life is the only possible reality. Much like the myth of Pygmalion, we can easily lose touch with ourselves by getting caught up in the noise of this artificial world. This cautionary tale warns us of the heavy toll we pay—losing our identity and blurring healthy boundaries—when we let the noise of the world isolate us from our true selves.

The Story of Pygmalion

Pygmalion was a highly skilled and widely admired sculptor in Greek mythology. Disheartened by what he perceived as the imperfections of mortal women, he gave up pursuit of them and took a vow of celibacy. Instead, he dedicated himself to a life of art and creation and set out to create an artistic representation of the ideal female form. From the finest ivory, the sculptor devoted himself to chiseling every feature with increasing care and tenderness.

After many months, he transformed an already fine figure into one of unrivaled beauty—with refined features, radiant ivory skin, long windswept locks, and a generous waist-hip ratio. These visual signals of health and fertility remain timeless symbols of female beauty. He named his masterpiece Galatea.

Once completed, the sculpture was so exquisitely beautiful that he fell deeply in love with it. The artwork was so lifelike that Pygmalion would touch it to confirm that it was not a living being. He progressed from admiring the sculpture to murmuring to it, caressing it, and even kissing it with his eyes closed. He envisioned her coming to life in his embrace. He was passionately in love with his own creation. He bestowed upon the statue gifts, dressed it in luxurious silks, undressed it, and even took it to bed.

According to the myth, Pygmalion prayed to the goddess Aphrodite on her festival day, his voice trembling with hope as he beseeched her to bring his beloved statue to life, longing for the warmth of a heartbeat and the spark of true love to awaken within the marble form he had crafted with such devotion. The Greek goddess of love, beauty, and desire was often described as charming, alluring, and enchanting. She was known for her irresistible beauty and her ability to inspire love and passion in others. Aphrodite was believed to embody love in all its forms, from romantic love to physical desire, and was associated with grace, elegance, and sensuality. When she encountered those truly devoted to love, she was known to show compassion, intervene, and even bestow blessings.

Pygmalion begged her to bring his beloved masterpiece to life, pleading for the “living likeness of my ivory girl.” Aphrodite was moved by Pygmalion’s pure and devoted love for Galatea. As a reward for his sincerity and passion, she brought the statue to life. When Pygmalion returned home, he kissed his beloved statue on the lips, as he always had. But this time, he was astonished to feel warmth and tenderness in the embrace. He could feel the pulse of sweet Galatea’s lips as she began to return his kiss. The more he touched and caressed her, the more she came to life. Eventually, she opened her hazel eyes for the first time. Startled at first, she grew overjoyed by the sight of her devoted lover and reciprocated his ardor. With the blessing of Aphrodite, Pygmalion and Galatea were happily wed, and eventually they had a son.

Pygmalion had treated his statue like a real person. He spoke tenderly to Galatea, caressed her, and brought her thoughtful gifts. To him, she had become so much more than a statue carved from ivory; she became in his eyes the personification of the ideal woman. The myth has the couple living happily ever after. But in real life, Pygmalion’s behavior would not lead to a happy ending.

Pygmalion’s Fixation With Galatea Represents a Lack of Healthy Boundaries

Pygmalion lived in a trance, losing touch with the division between fantasy and reality. He put up emotional walls with real women that kept him in isolation; he lacked real emotional connection with the outer world, and clearly had difficulties in forming close relationships with real-life humans. His unrealistic ideals and disdain for women led him down the path of neglecting the need for authentic human connections. Many artists can empathize with this emotional journey of becoming so captivated by their creation that they immerse themselves in their inner world, forsaking the external world for the beauty of their imaginative ideals. This type of infatuation within the context of a “parasocial” relationship raises concerns about the dangers of losing touch with reality and getting lost in an illusion.

In today’s world, a parasocial relationship is a one-sided, psychological bond that a lonely and isolated person may form with a media persona, celebrity, or public figure. In this type of relationship, the individual feels a sense of connection, attachment, or intimacy with the media personality, even though there is no actual interaction or personal relationship between them. This phenomenon is commonly observed in fandoms, where fans develop emotional connections with celebrities or characters they admire through media platforms like television, social media, or events. Parasocial relationships can have both positive and negative impacts on individuals, influencing their emotions, behaviors, and perceptions of the public figure involved. Ultimately, however, the relationship will feel hollow because it is inherently one-sided. The object of your affection isn’t going to call you on your birthday or laugh with you about the smaller absurdities of life. The intimacy is an illusion.

Parasocial Relationships Essential Reads

In the age of AI, social media, and increased accessibility to celebrities, individuals can develop unrealistic expectations about their favorite personalities, leading to disappointment when those expectations are not met in reality. Parasocial relationships can allow people to connect without the risks associated with real-life interactions. They can offer a sense of vicarious companionship without the fear of real-life rejection or vulnerability. Emotional walls are constructed from bricks of self-protection and isolation, bound together by the cement of fear. They may create a mirage of safety, but ultimately relational trauma needs relational repair. One of the greatest psychological detriments of our time is the rise of parasocial relationships. Take time to step into what is real.

And remember…

Individuals who understand the importance of boundaries are self-healers. Akin to alchemists, they possess the remarkable ability to transform wounds into wisdom, pain into purpose, and mistreatment from others into opportunities for assertive self-advocacy. This year, I urge you to put down the phone and really connect with the person next to you. Forget the illusions of the online world. Say no to what feels parasocial and lean into those small nameless moments that are real.