As I left my last job, I remember feeling a nauseating combination of fear and excitement, as if I’d stood up too quickly and gotten lightheaded. For the first time in a long time, I started making choices based on what I really needed rather than what I had been told was expected of me, and that sense of autonomy was very freeing.
Suddenly, I had options: where to work, who to contact, and which opportunities to take on. I could get in touch with people I respected and ask them if they would like to work with me, and as more and more people said yes, my confidence returned. Although it must have looked chaotic from the outside, freelancing regularly felt very structured. A project may entail travelling to a new studio, receiving a brief, working for a fixed period, being paid an agreed daily rate, and then leaving.
The asks were usually clearer: it made sense for the agency or client to have all the pieces ready, so I could hit the ground running. I enjoyed the combination of structure and variety because I could work with different people, in different places, on different tasks, yet still have a defined role to play. The separation meant fewer opportunities to get involved in internal politics, and I could therefore concentrate solely on the work. It was really satisfying, and I would get a great dopamine hit with every invoice I sent off, each one tangible proof of my success.
Soon after, I got opportunities to work with agencies and individuals I had really admired, and the confidence and momentum I gained from that was substantial. This worked for a long time; from 2019 until 2025, I was never really quiet. There was always something that needed doing: a brief, an email to send, an overdue invoice to chase – the list went on.