Having prosecuted stalkers for 30 years, I am familiar with the recognizable evolution of problematic perpetrator behavior. Some stalkers are motivated by job-related conflict or neighborhood disputes, while others are overcome with feelings of lust, longing, or unrequited love. In all cases, the best plan is not prediction, but prevention. The first step is spotting the red flags.
Uncovering Hidden Obsession
Paula Bradbury et al. (2025) investigated limerence as a precursor to stalking in a piece entitled “Limerence, Hidden Obsession, Fixation, and Rumination.”[i] She defines limerence as an “obsessive attachment” to another individual coupled with an overwhelming longing for his or her attention. She notes this state of unrequited and intense emotion involves fixation and obsession, which are stalking-type behaviors, and recognize that limerence-fueled behavior can progress to harmful external conduct that can develop into stalking.
Bradbury et al. describe limerence as very different from being “in love” or experiencing a crush, because in those emotional states, strong feelings tend to come and go. With limerence, intense longing may continue for years, become an addiction, and potentially evolve into obsessive rumination driven by a combination of doubt and hope. In fact, they note that a higher level of uncertainty as to whether the target returns the affection increases the degree of limerence and rumination, as well as the desire for reciprocation.
Without reciprocation, they recognize that a limerent individual can become consumed by their obsession and resort to imagined reciprocation to sustain their emotional needs. They note that limerence may not only progress into stalking, but it is also devastating to the person suffering from obsessive thoughts, who may experience symptoms including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, self-harm, and disruption of existing relationships.
The Ease of Online Obsession
Limerent individuals can view the targets of their obsession from the comfort of their own homes. This passive monitoring flies under the radar, as Bradbury et al. note that due to the one-sided nature of their obsession, many limerent individuals have fueled their passion in a “highly clandestine manner” for a long period of time.
In seeking to identify factors that escalate or inhibit the progression of obsessive limerent behavior beyond rumination, Bradbury et al. identify accelerants, or enabling factors, as including pervasive use of social media and digital devices, as well as issues related to self-regulation and attachment. They recognize that the internet allows limerent individuals to develop parasocial bonds, sustain maladaptive fantasies, and permit the development of their own narrative, without any contact with the object of their obsession. In fact, they note that observing others on the internet without their consent or knowledge has become normalized, providing a business model of operation for popular social media platforms ranging from TikTok and Instagram to Facebook, to professional networks such as LinkedIn.
Promoting Prevention
The goal is to detect maladaptive feelings before they progress into stalking behavior, which Bradbury et al. suggest is possible by remaining attuned to the conduct of individuals seeking help for obsessive, intrusive thoughts. Noting the strong correlations between limerence and stalking pathways, they argue that the same type of fixated, unrequited, obsessive, and uncertain aspects of stalking behaviors are reflected in the nature of limerence—although with limerence, the traits have not developed into actions that cause fear in the person who is the target of obsession.
Bradbury et al. recognize that although limerence may be a risk factor in some cases, it is not always a stalking precursor. They emphasize the importance of identifying psychological traits that inhibit stalking behavior and promote positive self-regulation, influencing motivation as well as the ability to control actions and behavior. When limerence is operating as a precursor to stalking, Bradbury et al. note that passive actions or behavior may present an opportunity for proactive intervention. And for anyone within the throes of this type of obsessive, intrusive, involuntary state of emotion who is suffering in silence, professional help is available.
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