Seneca, a Stoic, wrote that, “real joy, believe me, is a serious thing.”
You do not always think of Stoicism as promoters of “real joy,” but they were. They were very analytic about what joy was versus elation versus delight versus pleasure versus pleasant feelings. They made distinctions in other words, that we still fail to make.
Are they useful? To the Stoics they were because they thought what we were always missing was the right understanding of happiness. And misunderstanding happiness, for the Stoics—thinking it is made up of accomplishments or moment or praise or even love—is worse than just missing the boat. To misunderstand happiness is to believe false things that are damaging, not just because of how they mislead us.
Cicero says that joy comes from being able to judge what is truly good, and what is most good is our making ethical choices, recognizing justice (Tusculan Disputations 4.12–13).
Scholar Marget Graver explains all of this brilliantly, pointing out that Stoic joy—chara in Greek, gaudium in Seneca’s Latin—is a good emotional response grounded in recognizing what is genuinely good. It is not sometimes based on a mistake like delight—oh those flowers are not for me; it is not the same as pleasant feelings, and it’s not billed as a way to mitigate suffering. The Stoics were therefore concerned not only with what true joy was, but also with what needs to be causing it.
Scintillating writer and influencer Kate Bowler, a Duke professor and a best-selling author, has a new book out called Joyful, Anyway. In it, she explains how researchers have measured joy, and her argument is complex but her conclusion is that joy ends up being the best we can manage, over happiness, personal peace, or any sense of ongoing completeness. Her argument does not reference the Stoics, though I very much wish it would for reasons I will quickly sketch.
Bowler’s argument on joy includes:
that she has been mislead by spirituality, taught that it would end feelings of longing or loss and bring a lasting feeling of peace.
She also worries about those who give too much, explaining that love has us taking care of others, but since that includes concern for their own emotional lives, it is an endless and self-abnegating task. It’s also a double bind as they are also tasks that we would feel terrible about not performing.
Finally, she jokes, “there is a simple solution to all of my problems: everybody else,” pointing out that challenges coming from outside of ourselves will never end.
Great jokes and anecdotes are peppered throughout as the book, which reads like a transcript from a well-read friend hanging out and talking to you all about life, but one with the presence of mind to give you advice on how to get yourself ready to experience more joy. But as I read I kept wishing she were in conversation with an ancient Stoic. Stoicism almost seems designed to respond to observations and worries like Bowler’s.
They have ideas about the same problems she writes so well about. They, too, think other people cause a lot of our problems; that our roles need redefining; and that spirituality is not enough. But they still think the answer to these problems is happiness, and they think the path to happiness is regularly obscured and challenging but still there. They would consider anyone who experiences bursts of joy, at least if it is real joy, as a person who has travelled a bit on that path.
These days we do not tend to think of the virtuous as “the happy,” as the ancient philosophers did. One way to think of it is that, to make it seem in direct dialogue with a thinker like Bowler today, is to regard becoming virtuous getting a firm view on everything that might impede joy.
The Stoics really moralize joy and happiness. But you can see them as doing that because that is all that works. Try to live a life with goals other than being virtuous and you will find, as Aristotle argued, that fame is alienating, riches make you want more, and compliments and power keep you from feeling close to others.
The Stoics of course are the first to remind us that we might live lives full of pain and horror and loss. They caution us to not be surprised by this, and in fact to recognize from the start that other people are going through these things in their lives. Any account of happiness as the goal of human life has to include us all and begin here.
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Nothing else works for happiness but aiming for virtue, in other words. The psychological result of coming to recognize what it is right and wrong for you to do (and then doing those things or not) is a gain in integrity, understanding, and also incidences of joy, with joy coming about in an unwilled way, just as Bowler describes. Only the Stoics would refer to it as a kind of faux joy if it is not based in something you correctly judge to be good. (No laughing at mean jokes, etc.)
They also offer clear warnings on unrealistic expectations for ourselves: If we believe need to do or achieve anything certain in life outside of what is necessary for happiness, we will impede joy. Marriage pressure and overly-strict requirements for parenting fit in here. To a Stoic, feeling that you are giving too much of yourself is based on some false beliefs about what we are here to do and why. The exceptations of others, or their needs for us, are things a Stoic needs us to think through, as so often these expectations and even needs are also based on false beliefs. We can’t, in other words, see ourselves as duty bound without figuring out for ourselves the role we should play. As strict as the Stoics can seem—we are supposed to live up to duties, etc.—they live up to duty in their own way, a way that suits them, so that they obtain integrity.
Seneca makes one remaining distinction that helps us contrast Stoicism to Bowler’s philosophy: Joy accompanies the highest good but does not constitute it. What is the highest good? Living in accordance with virtue. What does that bring about? Lasting happiness. It’s not the same kind of happiness we experience or strive for without aiming for virtue, but it is supposed to be the kind of happiness that does satisfy and bring peace. The Stoics are really on to something.