Yalding<\/a>.<\/p>\nShe met her now-husband, Marcus Bird, via online dating in November 2015, and the pair \u201cquickly fell in love\u201d.<\/p>\n
At the time, H\u00e9l\u00e8ne had a son, Etienne Menardi-Jones (now 12), and Marcus had two daughters, Tali (12) and Ziva (14) Sweeney-Bird.<\/p>\n
He explained: \u201cWe met on Tinder, which was quite an odd thing for both of us as 30-year-olds.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut as single parents, there aren’t really a lot of options to meet anyone.<\/p>\n
![\"Hélène](\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg)
H\u00e9l\u00e8ne Menardi, from Tunbridge Wells, has been told she has just weeks to live following a decade-long battle with cancer<\/p>\n
\u201cAbout a week after we met, she found a lump on her breast. Within a few weeks, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe told me she would be more than happy if I decided for us to go our separate ways, because it was going to be a lot for me to deal with.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut there was no reason for me not to be with her. There was no way we’d break up for anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
H\u00e9l\u00e8ne underwent a bilateral mastectomy the following January and had chemotherapy as well as targeted radiotherapy.<\/p>\n
However, the cancer ended up spreading to her lungs, where she had to have further radiotherapy.<\/p>\n
H\u00e9l\u00e8ne\u00a0and Marcus got married in September 2018<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was where it was at for the first few years, and things looked stable,\u201d Marcus said.<\/p>\n
The pair got married at the register office in Tunbridge Wells on September 11, 2018.<\/p>\n
But in May 2020, H\u00e9l\u00e8ne had her first seizure in the middle of the night.<\/p>\n
Marcus, 43, explained: \u201cI called an ambulance, but I couldn’t go to the hospital with her because it was around Covid-time.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey found out that the cancer had spread to her brain, so she’s had 13 rounds of radiotherapy on her brain.\u201d<\/p>\n
H\u00e9l\u00e8ne\u00a0and Marcus have been together for a decade<\/p>\n
In December last year, she had a craniotomy, a surgical operation that involved temporarily removing a piece of her skull to remove the lesion that had spread.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey got most of it out, but they couldn’t get the last part out, and that’s the part that’s growing,\u201d Marcus said.<\/p>\n
Around five weeks ago, H\u00e9l\u00e8ne started to become confused and lost her sense of coordination.<\/p>\n
They called The Hospice In The Weald in Pembury for an evaluation, and she was invited to stay at the site for symptom management and practical support.<\/p>\n
Marcus, who is originally from Manchester, explained: \u201cShe started having seizures multiple times a day. So we went for an urgent MRI, and they said the cancer had spread, and she was now at end-of-life care.<\/p>\n
H\u00e9l\u00e8ne was born in Tunisia but later settled in Kent<\/p>\n
\u201cAround three weeks ago, we were told she only had weeks to live \u2013 months at best.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe first went to the hospice, because she was not able to get up and down the stairs on her own or stand up out of a chair on her own without me lifting her.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe can’t walk, so it’s too complicated to get her home now.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe has also got short-term memory loss and keeps forgetting what stage she’s at, so we’ve had to explain to her quite a few times.<\/p>\n
\u201cHer mum passed away from cancer when she was 16, so she wanted me to be very clear with the children about how long she’s got left to live and specifically say that she will die from this.<\/p>\n
The family lives in Tunbridge Wells<\/p>\n
\u201cI’ve had to sit the kids down and talk to them about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He says his wife is \u201cphenomenal\u201d, adding: \u201cShe’s the best of all of us. She’s got eternal optimism, and she’s just so positive and uplifting. She’s a real joy to be around.<\/p>\n
\u201cEven now she’s at end-of-life care, she spends a lot of her day giggling and laughing and trying to make other people happy.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can’t say enough positive things about her.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe met my girls only after a few weeks of us meeting, and she instantly offered to bake my daughter a birthday cake.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey called her \u2018mummy\u2019 from about six weeks in.<\/p>\n
Marcus says his wife is the ‘most courageous’ person he has ever known<\/p>\n
\u201cShe always pushes me and knows that if I’m having a hard day, I need to go for a run.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe knows how to fix all of us. So it’s been very difficult without her helping us and telling us what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n
He added that the hospice has been \u201cgreat\u201d and the family can visit H\u00e9l\u00e8ne whenever they want.<\/p>\n
He said: \u201c We’ve done movie nights with the kids. We’ve had facials and things like that.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey’re confused, but actually probably handling it better than most of the adults I know.<\/p>\n
H\u00e9l\u00e8ne has received several rounds of radiotherapy<\/p>\n
\u201cFive years ago, we were told she had six months left to live, so it’s incredible that she’s still with us.<\/p>\n
\u201cNearly all of these treatments over the past decade were funded by the NHS and The Royal Marsden Hospital.<\/p>\n
\u201cWithout their incredible support, my wife would have passed away many years ago.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’ve been her carer, her husband, a dad, and the sole source of income for 10 years.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe’ve always had this hope that she would get better, and she has, and then she’s got worse.<\/p>\n
H\u00e9l\u00e8ne has been described as an ‘incredible mother and an amazing partner’<\/p>\n
\u201cIt’s very surreal at the moment to see that she’s got weeks left\u201d.<\/p>\n
His friend Kristin Youell has set up a fundraiser to financially support the family over the coming weeks. Donations can be made here<\/a>.<\/p>\nMarcus, who is a freelance director and editor, said: \u201cI keep getting offered work, but I just can’t take it at the moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe’ve got a lot of outgoings and no income. We’ve built up debt from not being able to pay for certain things.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt feels incredibly awkward to ask for help. Knowing that friends, family, and even people from my past can see this plea is humbling.<\/p>\n
H\u00e9l\u00e8ne is currently at The Hospice In The Weald in Pembury<\/p>\n
\u201cBut the love I have for H\u00e9l\u00e8ne and the children far outweighs any discomfort.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’ve realised that my pride is secondary to ensuring my family has the stability and comfort they need right now.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is about making sure I can be there for my children and my wife in these final moments.\u201d<\/p>\n
He says his wife has shown \u201cunimaginable strength\u201d over the past decade.<\/p>\n
He added: \u201cMy greatest priority has always been to be by her side.<\/p>\n
Marcus says H\u00e9l\u00e8ne is ‘a joy to be around’<\/p>\n
\u201cLiving with a terminal illness is devastating and emotionally distressing for H\u00e9l\u00e8ne and our family, and my focus is entirely on caring for her and our children.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ve reached a point where the financial strain has become overwhelming.<\/p>\n
\u201cH\u00e9l\u00e8ne is the most courageous person I have ever known.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor nearly 10 years, she has fought with a strength that defies description, enduring countless treatments and surgeries.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe has been an incredible mother and an amazing partner, and her resilience has been an inspiration to us all.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A \u201ccourageous\u201d mum has been told she has just weeks to live following a decade-long battle with cancer.…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":100298,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[59,102,192,191,194,3867,56,54,55,3045],"class_list":{"0":"post-100297","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-gb","9":"tag-health","10":"tag-human-interest","11":"tag-kent","12":"tag-syndicate","13":"tag-tunbridge-wells","14":"tag-uk","15":"tag-united-kingdom","16":"tag-unitedkingdom","17":"tag-weald"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100297","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=100297"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100297\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/100298"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=100297"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=100297"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=100297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}