![\"Miles](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/SEI_185741834-7cee-e1752847491182.jpg\")
\n\t\tMiles Asteri is ready for people to hear his story now (Picture: PA)<\/p>\n
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\n\t\tMiles Asteri is ready for people to hear his story now (Picture: PA)<\/p>\n
Miles Asteri spent his whole life hiding \u2013 outside the school<\/a> gates, at parties and on paper, from a tall shadowed figure. <\/p>\n Then he went on the BBC<\/a>\u2019s biggest reality show in years, The Traitors<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m an adult,\u2019 Miles, 38, reasoned, when deciding whether to step into the bright lights of showbusiness and in turn risk his father re-entering his life, stalking him and his mother Anna, 62.<\/p>\n \u2018By the time the Traitors came around, I thought, \u201cScrew it. I\u2019m not going to let it define who I am\u201d,\u2019 a burly, gentle Miles tells Metro over a Zoom call, sitting next to his mum Anna; a petite, self-assured woman whose face peeks out from under a silky, Claudia Winkleman-esque fringe, her head slightly sunken into her leopard print shirt.<\/p>\n \u2018I know there\u2019s a lot more help out there now, but I hope that on hearing my story someone can relate to it,\u2019 Anna says.<\/p>\n Over a year on from Miles\u2019 series two Traitors appearance, he and Anna want to use his platform to help others, and show them that there is hope, no matter how dark life may seem. <\/p>\n To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web \t\t \u2018He was a gentleman. He was lovely. He swept me off my feet if I\u2019m honest,\u2019 Anna explains when remembering what Miles\u2019 father was like in the first two years of their relationship. But then everything changed.<\/p>\n \t\t\t\tJoin Metro’s The Traitors community on WhatsApp\t\t\t<\/p>\n Want to get all the latest news and predictions for the best and most dramatic show this new year? Join our The Traitors WhatsApp channel<\/a> for live episode coverage, behind-the-scenes gossip and a place to recover from all the cliffhangers.<\/p>\n Simply click on this link<\/a>, select \u2018Join Chat\u2019 and you\u2019re in! Don’t forget to turn on notifications!<\/p>\n \u2018The first time he hit me, I was six months pregnant,\u2019 Anna says. \u2018I remember I had my back against the wall. It was a big smack, just one.\u2019<\/p>\n She continues: \u2018I\u2019ve never been so shocked in my life; it just stunned me. I probably should have got up and left, but I was pregnant, and young. I thought it was just a one off, but then it escalated.\u2019<\/p>\n This is not uncommon. Up to 30% of domestic abuse cases begin during pregnancy, and 20% of women in charity Refuge\u2019s services are pregnant or have recently given birth. <\/p>\n Once, he headbutted Anna when Miles was a baby in her arms. Another time he came home from work and said, accusatorily: \u2018You always feed that baby before me.\u2019 <\/p>\n \u2018I remember thinking, \u201cWhat?\u201d I couldn\u2019t believe what I was hearing. He wanted this child, but then he was jealous of the child, of the attention the child was getting off me,\u2019 Anna remembers. <\/p>\n \u2018Every argument he\u2019d either push me up or hold me up,\u2019 Anna says, gesturing to her neck. \u2018Unfortunately for me, it became the norm.\u2019 <\/p>\n When she was suffering from domestic abuse in her home, Anna used to get hit so much she had a scab on the inside of her mouth that never had time to fully heal.<\/p>\n While it eventually did, both Miles and Anna say the psychological damage remained.<\/p>\n \t\t \t\t \u2018I used to hold my own. I was never a timid woman of any description. But he wore me down. Even then, I wasn\u2019t a gibbering wreck. But my mind accepted it. This is who I\u2019ve got to be with now. This is the choice I made,\u2019 Anna says. <\/p>\n Miles used to get a cloud of anxiety every Thursday and Friday, and he later realised that was because his dad\u2019s violence and intimidation intensified at the weekends.<\/p>\n Anna clocked out of their relationship when Miles was just a baby, but she was too scared to leave for another few years. She knew he wouldn\u2019t make it easy when she packed her bags. And he didn\u2019t. <\/p>\n \u2018When people go the violence intensifies,\u2019 says Miles. \u2018So because of that, you feel like it\u2019s almost better to stay and take the violence that you\u2019ve got now than the violence that you\u2019re potentially going to get.\u2019 <\/p>\n He is right. It takes, on average, 7 attempts before a woman suffering from domestic abuse is able to leave for good, according to Refuge. <\/p>\n Miles remembers, too. He remembers seeing his father on top of Anna on the kitchen floor \u2018laying into her\u2019, and he struggled with guilt as a powerless young child.<\/p>\n Anna remembers Miles once grabbing hold of his leg to make him stop.<\/p>\n \u2018Sometimes I\u2019d be playing in the background and thinking, \u201cOh my God, this terrible thing is happening\u2026 What do I do? Do I get involved? Do I not get involved?\u201d\u2018 Miles reflects. <\/p>\n When Miles was four, they fled their home in the middle of the night and stayed with Anna\u2019s mother. They eventually moved into their own flat. But his father would always find them.<\/p>\n \t\t \t\t \u2018After I left him he stalked me for two years. He\u2019d turn up at work, he\u2019d be standing at the bottom of our flats. He didn\u2019t drive. How he got to these places\u2026\u2019 Anna says, shaking her head. <\/p>\n \u2018I came out of a toilet once and he was there,\u2019 she added with wide-eyed bewilderment.<\/p>\n They once spent an evening hiding in a dumpster, terrified to move, with him just yards away staring up at the window into their third-floor flat. He was so transfixed on the window, he\u2019d missed them walking out the door.<\/p>\n \u2018I remember Mum telling me to turn \u2013 because I had a black jacket on, and to use it as [camouflage] because it was night time and quite dark. We were hiding in there and waiting for him, having to be so quiet,\u2019 Miles says. \u2018That fear,\u2019 he adds, shaking his head.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ve never been so frightened like that,\u2019 Anna says. \u2018You know when you feel your heart actually pounding? Because he was right there. I was going to wear this white shirt. Luckily, I\u2019d put something dark on myself.\u2019 <\/p>\n Even when he disappeared, Miles and Anna stayed as still as statues in the shadows, in case he returned.<\/p>\n Miles had a constant worry he was going to be taken, as his dad always threatened to. Abusers often use family courts<\/a> to continue their tortuous campaigns. <\/p>\n \u2018He was a big guy. We lived with this fear for years after. That\u2019s why I think domestic violence is not just physical violence, it\u2019s the emotional and psychological stuff,\u2019 Miles says. <\/p>\n \t\t \u2018It was almost like we were on lockdown,\u2019 says Anna, remembering times Miles wanted to play with friends, write to penpals, and go on trips, and she\u2019d have to tell him no. <\/p>\n \u2018The police were as good as a chocolate teapot,\u2019 she adds. <\/p>\n \u2018Back then it was, \u201cWhen he does something, let us know?\u201d Him standing outside my flat, looking at the window, banging at the door, he wasn\u2019t doing anything\u2026\u2019 <\/p>\n Even after Anna got full custody of Miles, the terror remained.<\/p>\n \u2018When my custody was finalised, things kind of died off a little bit,\u2019 Miles says. \u2018But at the same time, we were always looking over our shoulders for years, not knowing that he\u2019d had a medical crisis and wasn\u2019t functioning at the time. We didn\u2019t know that until my late 20s.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I was nervous, I was scared to leave the house, looking over my shoulder all the time. There was no help at all,\u2019 Anna agrees. <\/p>\n \u2018They say when a parent is being violently attacked or abused, the damage is the same as if it\u2019s happening to the child,\u2019 Miles says, having learnt about child psychology while looking into adoption with his partner Pip, and in turn, reflecting on his own beginnings. <\/p>\n \u2018I want people to know,\u00a0you shouldn\u2019t let those bad people in your life define who you are. It took me a long time to work it out, but it wasn\u2019t about me. So I shouldn\u2019t take that luggage with me.\u2019<\/p>\n Through all the horrific stories, which Anna and Miles have hashed out together over the years through tears and fractured memories, there were good times, too.<\/p>\n Recounting these flashes of good from the darkest days, born from Anna\u2019s love, is the only moment Miles is emotional throughout our two-hour chat.<\/p>\n \u2018Sorry Kitty,\u2019 Miles says, voice trembling, describing a photo of his fifth birthday, in which Anna, Miles and his wonderful stepdad posed in front of a party food spread.<\/p>\n \t\t \u2018They tried their best to make good in a really bad situation. They were trying to let me have a birthday,\u2019 he finishes. <\/p>\n Anna sums it up: \u2018The thing is, we were tight. We still are. It made us really tight. He\u2019s over 6ft now, but even now if anyone went near him, they\u2019d have to get through me first.\u2019<\/p>\n As for her younger self \u2013 lost, bruised, and battered \u2013 Anna has a message: \u2018I would say, share your problems. I kept it all to myself. Nobody knew until it blew up. I would say communicate with your sister, friend, mum and dad. Anyone.<\/p>\n \u2018There is a happy ending. You can get out of it. You can move on and be happy. There is hope.\u2019 \u00a0<\/p>\n Got a story?<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve got a celebrity story, video or pictures get in touch with the Metro.co.uk<\/a> entertainment team by emailing us celebtips@metro.co.uk, calling 020 3615 2145 or by visiting our Submit Stuff<\/a> page \u2013 we\u2019d love to hear from you.<\/p>\n Arrow Arrow
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tvideo<\/a><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Miles-Asteri-1-2eb3.jpeg\")
\n\t\tMiles wants to help other children of domestic abuse through speaking out (Picture: Miles Asteri)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Miles-Mum-1-0780.jpg\")
\n\t\tMiles\u2019 mum Anna sat down with Miles and talked about her experience of domestic abuse in the hope of helping others (Picture: Miles Asteri)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/image-9c35.png\")
\n\t\tThe abuse began when Anna was pregnant (Picture: Miles Asteri)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/image-abda.png\")
\n\t\tMiles remembers his dad hitting his mother (Picture: Miles Asteri)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/image-1a90.png\")
\n\t\tThe psychological toll has been a lot for both Miles and Anna (Picture: Miles Asteri)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Miles-Mum-2-794f.jpg\")
\n\t\tThis shared experience has made Anna and Miles incredibly close (Picture: Miles Asteri)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/image-6ab2.png\")
\n\t\tAnna still tried to give Miles a fifth birthday party in their darkest time (Picture: Miles Asteri)<\/p>\n
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