{"id":11026,"date":"2025-07-20T17:52:16","date_gmt":"2025-07-20T17:52:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/11026\/"},"modified":"2025-07-20T17:52:16","modified_gmt":"2025-07-20T17:52:16","slug":"i-felt-invisible-in-my-50s-my-four-day-a-week-hobby-fixed-that","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/11026\/","title":{"rendered":"I felt invisible in my 50s – my four-day-a-week hobby fixed that"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\"Sharron
\n\t\tI noticed a shift (Picture: Toby Madden)<\/p>\n

One day, about two years ago, I went out for the whole day without telling my husband or my four teenage foster children.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n

It was unusual for me to have so much time by myself, but I enjoyed it \u2013 I went shopping and visited places I used to walk my beloved dog, before he passed<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But the reason I did it was to test my family, to see if they would realise I wasn\u2019t there. I hoped they might miss me, or at least notice I\u2019d gone.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The reality was very different.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n

When I eventually got home at the end of the day, no one \u2013 not even my husband who was working at home \u2013 \u202fasked where I\u2019d been, what I\u2019d been doing, or even if I was OK. It was just the usual \u2018what\u2019s for dinner?\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n

I was shocked but decided not to make a scene, so I set to work and got cooking.\u00a0<\/p>\n

For the last 12 years, my husband Trevor and I have fostered more than 100 children<\/a> \u2013 staying with us for anything from one night to four years and coming\u202ffrom a range of backgrounds and challenging situations. <\/p>\n

\t\t\"Sharron
\n\t\tUnfortunately, this is the sad reality\u202ffor women of a certain age (Picture: Sharron Hopkins)<\/p>\n

We also have two grown up\u202fdaughters named Grace and Maisie, so I have always felt needed and busy.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But\u202fabout two years ago, when I was 54, I noticed a shift.\u00a0<\/p>\n

At the time, we had\u202ffour teenage foster children who were quite\u202fsettled. As a result, they \u2013 along with Grace, who still lived with us \u2013\u202fstarted to need me less so\u202fI ended up with a lot of\u202ftime on my hands.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I\u2019d had a sneaking suspicion that I was becoming invisible<\/a>, and my day out only confirmed it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, this is the sad reality\u202ffor women of a certain age \u2013 nobody really sees you.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\t\t\"Sharron
\n\t\tI had done some Christmas volunteering work for a few years (Picture: Sharron Hopkins)<\/p>\n

I was trying to fill my days, but at first I felt lost. I felt I was too old for clubbing but much too young for bingo. I wasn\u2019t ready to spend all my afternoons watching daytime TV, but I wasn\u2019t going to be shopping for the latest fashions either.\u00a0<\/p>\n

So I decided to do something about it.\u202fI made a promise to myself to start saying \u2018yes\u2019 to more.<\/p>\n

I had done some Christmas volunteering work<\/a> for a few years and enjoyed the buzz it gave me, so I started to look for other opportunities like that.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Not long after,\u202fI saw a TV news story about\u202fa charity called FareShare<\/a>, which takes food that is good to eat but would be wasted by businesses like supermarkets and food manufacturers, then redistributes it to thousands of charities to help support people in need.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\t\t\"Sharron
\n\t\tMy first impression of the warehouse was that I was made to feel extremely welcome, (Picture: Toby Madden)<\/p>\n

Food is stored at warehouses all over the country, including near me in Southampton. And at the very end of the news story, the charity had\u202fan urgent call for volunteers<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I scanned the QR code on the screen and filled in my details online. I was called in by the volunteer manager and started the following week.\u00a0<\/p>\n

My first impression of the warehouse was that I was made to feel extremely welcome, even just by calling me by my name. I was taught the ropes by other volunteers and was struck by what a friendly bunch of people they were.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I felt immediately welcomed and valued. A far cry from invisibility.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\t\t\"Sharron
\n\t\tI was struck by what a friendly bunch of people they were (Picture: Toby Madden)<\/p>\n

The first day was so interesting. The people were great and I felt good, working hard and making myself useful. Even my husband was keen to hear about my new interest and we talked into the night about how he could help.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

My elder daughter and family moved back to live locally and also offered to help out too. I felt really blessed and no longer invisible.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n

That was a year and a half ago and I\u2019ve gone from strength to strength in this volunteering role since.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I stayed true to the saying \u2018yes\u2019 mantra. Like when I took a van driving test, so I\u2019m able to drive the vans to deliver food out and about in the community.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\t\t\"Sharron
\n\t\tI have four regular shifts a week but will always pitch in and help where I can (Picture: Toby Madden)<\/p>\n

I\u2019m so lucky to meet the most amazing people in this role. From other volunteers to people who access the charities we deliver to, there are so many fascinating stories and every day is interesting.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Today,\u202fI have four regular shifts a week but will always pitch in and help where I can, sometimes travelling over 200 miles each week to deliver food.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Volunteering\u202fgives me<\/a> back my own identity. People ask me how I am and what I\u2019ve been up to.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\t\t\"Sharron
\n\t\tI feel like I\u2019m back in my early 20s having the best fun with my friends (Picture: Toby Madden)<\/p>\n

I can have a laugh and even\u202fswear if I want to\u202f\u2013 just be myself. I don\u2019t need to pretend or be on my best behaviour as someone\u2019s mum.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I feel like I\u2019m back in my early 20s having the best fun with my friends, with the bonus of knowing I\u2019m helping people at the same time. I don\u2019t want it to end.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n

The best part is,\u202fmy family has supported me and can see how happy it makes me. Trevor and\u202fboth daughters\u202fhave even\u202fstepped up to help with school runs with the foster children, to make sure I can get to my shifts on time.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n

I look at my female\u202ffriends of a similar age and I see so many of them are sad. Either they are unhappy in their marriage, their job, or both.\u00a0<\/p>\n

They feel invisible and it makes me sad.\u00a0<\/p>\n

To other women facing a similar situation, I would really recommend giving volunteering a go. Say \u2018yes\u2019 to more and see how it makes you feel because it might just be the best thing you\u2019ve ever done.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n

Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Share your views in the comments below.<\/p>\n

Arrow
\nMORE: I tried to give Gran a hug \u2013 her reaction still haunts me<\/a><\/p>\n

Arrow
\nMORE: My date showered me with compliments \u2013 until I turned down his request<\/a><\/p>\n

Arrow
\nMORE: My date said I had one drink to impress him \u2013 so I downed it<\/a><\/p>\n

\t\t\t\tThe Slice<\/p>\n

Your free newsletter guide to the best London has on offer, from drinks deals to restaurant reviews.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I noticed a shift (Picture: Toby Madden) One day, about two years ago, I went out for the…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11027,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[7189,7190,59,655,2205,86,56,54,55,7191,658],"class_list":["post-11026","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-technology","tag-age-is-just-a-number","tag-first-person","tag-gb","tag-lifestyle","tag-real-life","tag-technology","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom","tag-volunteering","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11026","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11026"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11026\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11027"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11026"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11026"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11026"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}