{"id":119369,"date":"2025-09-06T20:57:17","date_gmt":"2025-09-06T20:57:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/119369\/"},"modified":"2025-09-06T20:57:17","modified_gmt":"2025-09-06T20:57:17","slug":"gabrielle-anwar-wasnt-always-a-good-mom-she-wants-to-be-a-great-grandma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/119369\/","title":{"rendered":"Gabrielle Anwar Wasn’t Always a Good Mom \u2014 She Wants to Be a Great Grandma"},"content":{"rendered":"

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Gabrielle Anwar. It has been edited for length and clarity.<\/p>\n

When I look back at old family photo albums<\/a>, I see a little girl who looks hollow and vacant. I now understand why.<\/p>\n

My parents didn’t have the tools to help me. Like many from their generation, they lacked the vocabulary and empathy we now have around mental health<\/a>.<\/p>\n

By the time I hit adolescence, I was emotionally unstable. I believe I had my first manic episode<\/a> around age 11 when I started menstruating. I was expelled from school and deeply ashamed. I began to realize that my reactions were disproportionate; everything was either euphoric or devastating. There was no middle ground.<\/p>\n

Acting gave me an outlet and covered up the problem<\/p>\n

I landed my first role in a BBC miniseries at the age of 16. Acting made me feel alive, even as I battled depression privately<\/a>. When I moved to Los Angeles after falling in love with an American actor, I landed a Warner Bros. film within days of arriving. I was 23 when I filmed “Scent of a Woman,” including that now iconic tango scene with Al Pacino.<\/p>\n

On screen, I could channel my emotional extremes into my characters. Behind the scenes, I was drowning. I had my first child, Willow, at the age of 23. She was conceived during a one-night stand<\/a>. We got back together, and he became her father figure, whom she called “Daddy.”<\/p>\n

Eventually, I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital. That’s when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was both a relief and a heartbreak. Relief that my pain had a name. Heartbreak that there was no cure.<\/p>\n

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I didn’t want to take medication<\/p>\n

For years, I resisted medication. I was vegan, holistic, and saw pharmaceuticals as a flaw, something shameful. And honestly, I didn’t want to lose the highs of mania; they made me feel powerful.<\/p>\n

But the lows were unbearable. I experienced violent rages that frightened the people I loved. I once punched my now-husband in the face twice during an episode early in our relationship. I thought he’d walk away. Instead, he stayed. He loved all of me, even the broken parts.<\/p>\n

\"Shareef<\/p>\n

Gabrielle Anwar with her husband, Shareef Malnik.<\/p>\n

Romain Maurice\/Getty Images<\/p>\n

It took until my 40s to find the right medication, the right brand, dosage, and combination. It was a process; healing doesn’t happen overnight.<\/p>\n

I’m finally at peace<\/p>\n

Motherhood was my purpose, but I wasn’t always good at it. I was too consumed with survival. I wasn’t emotionally available for my oldest child in the ways she needed. That’s something I’ll always regret.<\/p>\n

But becoming a grandmother has given me a second chance. My daughter and I have rebuilt our relationship, something we once thought impossible. Now, we’re in a beautiful place. And I get to be the kind of loving, present force for my granddaughter (who was born in 2024) that I wasn’t able to be for my kids.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Gabrielle Anwar. It has been edited for length and…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":119370,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[1774,20577,7124,57011,56207,16958,20176,102,57009,57012,6591,1906,6623,12105,8922,4241,23504,57010,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-119369","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-mental-health","tag-age","tag-al-pacino","tag-bipolar-disorder","tag-dosage","tag-gabrielle-anwar","tag-grandmother","tag-healing","tag-health","tag-heartbreak","tag-iconic-tango-scene","tag-medication","tag-mental-health","tag-mentalhealth","tag-name","tag-pain","tag-relationship","tag-relief","tag-right-brand","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119369","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=119369"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119369\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/119370"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=119369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=119369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=119369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}