A friend stepped in and took Matt home before the situation could escalate. This incident was pivotal, because it marked the moment Matt accepted he was experiencing a mental breakdown.<\/p>\n
Matt, who was 38 at the time (he\u2019s now 45) spent the rest of that weekend crying. His concerned wife Hayley suggested he take some time off. He agreed. But while Matt knew things weren\u2019t right, like many men, he had no idea that his quick temper was actually a physical manifestation of depression<\/a>.<\/p>\n In fact research shows that men frequently express their depression differently from women \u2013 as anger or physical pain, rather than \u2018sadness\u2019 \u2013 and as a result, they are not being identified or treated, sometimes with tragic consequences.<\/p>\n Matt, who lives in Gloucester with Hayley, 46, and their two children aged 11 and 16, now believes he spent ten years in denial that he was suffering from depression.<\/p>\n \u2018I was irritable and sound-sensitive, which was strange for me as I used to play instruments and have the radio on all day,\u2019 he recalls. \u2018I also found I couldn\u2019t run any more \u2013 something I loved doing. I just didn\u2019t have the energy or motivation.<\/p>\n \u2018And I kept losing my temper at home and sometimes at school too. If someone accidentally broke a plate at home, I\u2019d totally overreact. I didn\u2019t feel sad and didn\u2019t realise lack of energy, an inability to get out of bed and irritability could also be signs.\u2019<\/p>\n Matt Earl, a former primary school teacher, has learnt to open up to speak about his feelings found comfort walking his dog, Bryn<\/p>\n He also had frequent headaches and other niggling physical problems.<\/p>\n In 2008, in a landmark review on male depression, titled Big Boys Don\u2019t Cry, led by psychologist Peter Branney (then at Leeds Metropolitan University), looked at how depression manifests in men and why it is often under-diagnosed or misunderstood.<\/p>\n Published in the journal Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, it identified behaviours that are more common in men, such as avoidance (overworking or socialising to distract themselves), self-medicating with alcohol or drugs, aggression and hostility.<\/p>\n The review also found men display unexplained physical symptoms including pain and slow movements and speech, which are often overlooked by clinicians.<\/p>\n Yet 17 years on from its publication, depression in men remains under-diagnosed and not always understood \u2013 with men still finding it hard to speak up.<\/p>\n Last year, a European review, Real Men Don\u2019t Talk published in the SSM – Mental Health Journal, showed that a large proportion of men don\u2019t share their mental distress with anyone. What\u2019s more, persistent low-grade depression directly increases the likelihood for men not to disclose their mental distress and also makes them more isolated and withdrawn, so they don\u2019t have anyone to confide in.<\/p>\n According to Dr Adarsh Dharendra, a consultant psychiatrist at the Priory Group, who also works with the NHS Crisis Service in Wiltshire, \u2018it\u2019s easier for men to say they\u2019re having headaches than to admit they are struggling mentally\u2019.<\/p>\n This is something Matt can identify with. For years before his breakdown, he experienced symptoms such as migraines, neck pain, and lumps behind his ears. He also now recognises he experienced feelings of inadequacy.<\/p>\n \u2018I felt I wasn\u2019t good enough as a teacher, a husband or a father. Bit by bit, these thoughts started to overwhelm me and I withdrew from friendships and probably wasn\u2019t a great husband or father.<\/p>\n \u2018But I buried my head in the sand that anything was wrong with me mentally and only visited a doctor because of my physical symptoms.\u2019<\/p>\n Indeed, when Matt went to his GP seven months before his breakdown, he laughed it off when the doctor suggested they could be down to depression and anxiety. \u2018I was still in denial,\u2019 he says.<\/p>\n \u2018In clinical practice, I often see men minimising their distress or presenting in therapy only when a crisis has already erupted, commonly through relationship breakdowns or workplace burnout,\u2019 says psychotherapist Anthony Davis, an accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).<\/p>\n Like many men, Matt had no idea his quick temper was a physical manifestation of depression<\/p>\n He says men often experience what is termed \u2018male-typical depression\u2019 because their experiences are shaped by masculine social norms, which discourage emotional openness.<\/p>\n \u2018Consequently,\u2019 he says, \u2018men\u2019s distress may be misinterpreted as behavioural issues or personality traits, rather than symptoms of mental ill health.\u2019<\/p>\n This is why, in 2023, the BACP launched its RAISE campaign, encouraging practitioners, loved ones and colleagues to recognise the diverse ways distress can show up in men so they can act before a crisis point.<\/p>\n The mnemonic, R \u2013 Risk-taking, A \u2013 Anger, I \u2013 Isolation, S \u2013 Substance abuse, E \u2013 Exhaustion, is designed to alert people to common signs of depression in men.<\/p>\n Dr Dharendra concurs, stating that men often come to his clinics with anger management issues, outbursts, or irritability, rather than feelings of sadness or hopelessness. \u2018They may even deny being depressed because mental illness is still seen as a sign of weakness by many men.\u2019<\/p>\n He recounts the example of a patient in his 40s who\u2019d suffered a series of major life events, including bereavement and the end of his long-term relationship. \u2018He was spending hours gardening, struggling at work, and his family noticed out-of-character behaviour, like the fact he was snapping at them, being very sarcastic, neglecting self-care and misusing alcohol,\u2019 he recalls.<\/p>\n \u2018But he denied he was struggling emotionally. After a major outburst, he left his home and nobody could contact him.<\/p>\n \u2018The police eventually found him sitting by a riverbank and when they approached, he jumped in the river.<\/p>\n Professor Peter Branney says depressed men might act in ways that harm their relationships, such as avoiding family connections and lashing out at loved ones<\/p>\n \u2018It was only at that point he got the help he needed from specialist mental health services. If he hadn\u2019t tried to soldier on, he could have been helped much earlier.\u2019<\/p>\n![\"Matt](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/101937625-15076747-image-m-4_1757336833680.jpg\")
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