{"id":154985,"date":"2025-09-23T08:49:13","date_gmt":"2025-09-23T08:49:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/154985\/"},"modified":"2025-09-23T08:49:13","modified_gmt":"2025-09-23T08:49:13","slug":"why-sex-drive-can-fall-and-what-to-do-if-it-does","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/154985\/","title":{"rendered":"Why sex drive can fall and what to do if it does"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/1758159673_800_grey-placeholder.png\" class=\"sc-86c96223-0 iMuqLZ hide-when-no-script\" aria-label=\"image unavailable\"\/><img decoding=\"async\"   src=\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/c0d60430-9557-11f0-b830-3f3c6ed9c9f6.jpg.webp.webp\" loading=\"eager\" alt=\"Holly Hagan-Blyth Black and white photo of Holly and her baby cuddling while lying in bed\" class=\"sc-86c96223-0 fHZDyi\"\/>Holly Hagan-Blyth<\/p>\n<p>Holly Hagan-Blyth opened up about intimacy after childbirth while co-hosting the CBeebies Parenting Helpline<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Sex is an integral part of many people&#8217;s relationships. But for some, a loss of libido is common after life-changing events, such as pregnancy and childbirth, according to the <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nhsinform.scot\/illnesses-and-conditions\/sexual-and-reproductive\/loss-of-libido\/#:~:text=Loss%20of%20libido%20(sex%20drive,as%20pregnancy%2C%20childbirth%20or%20breastfeeding.\" class=\"sc-f9178328-0 jZoZnB\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">NHS<\/a>. <\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Reality TV star and fitness coach Holly Hagan-Blyth says this happened to her after having her son.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;I could have said, &#8216;listen, if you don&#8217;t touch me ever again, I&#8217;m not even bothered&#8217; because that&#8217;s just how I felt at the time,&#8221;  she said when co-hosting the <a target=\"_self\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bbc.co.uk\/programmes\/p0ly6bkg\" class=\"sc-f9178328-0 jZoZnB\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">CBeebies Parenting Helpline<\/a>. <\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Sex and relationship therapist Rachel Gold said mothers often expect to become intimate again after their six-week postnatal check.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;I think that really fools people into believing that this must be the time to have sex again, but it isn&#8217;t true.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Holly said her sex drive dipped after the arrival of her son Alpha-Jax in 2023 and she started to avoid any sort of intimacy.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;Whenever I would give him [her husband Jacob] any type of affection, like a touch or a cuddle, I felt it was going to lead to the full thing, to sex, and I didn&#8217;t want that.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;I started having a negative connotation doing anything towards him.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Being open with her husband helped, she says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;As soon as I said, this is how I&#8217;m feeling, &#8216;whenever I&#8217;m cuddling you and touching, can we just not make it lead to the next thing? Because it&#8217;s just making me not want to do that&#8217;, and all of a sudden everything was so much better because that pressure was taken off.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Her husband Jacob was worried she no longer fancied him.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;I was like, &#8216;you need to realise this has nothing to do with you. I am feeling this way at the moment, but I don&#8217;t think any differently of you.'&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;I don&#8217;t really feel like having sex right now, or even maybe in the next few months. This is my issue that I&#8217;m going through, and I just need to work through it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Holly hopes that couples experiencing the same issues can be more open.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;People do say the relationship changes after having a child, but I don&#8217;t think that until you&#8217;re in it, you really, truly, realise how much it changes.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Dr Jennifer Lincoln, a specialist in obstetrics and gynaecology, says there are many reasons why women may not want to have sex after giving birth. <\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;There&#8217;s a lot of healing that happens. It takes about six weeks for the uterus to return to its pre-pregnancy size. Any tears in the vagina or perineum are also healing.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">There are also big hormonal changes for women which can impact their libido. <\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;Levels of estrogen and progesterone drop drastically. The lower estrogen levels can lead to physical changes like vaginal dryness, which can make sex painful.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;People usually think menopause is the single most acute shift in hormone levels that a woman will ever experience, but actually the few days surrounding childbirth are.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/1758159673_800_grey-placeholder.png\" class=\"sc-86c96223-0 iMuqLZ hide-when-no-script\" aria-label=\"image unavailable\"\/><img decoding=\"async\"   src=\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/e58c6de0-9585-11f0-b465-4509a888107c.jpg.webp.webp\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Holly Hagan-Blyth Holly, her husband and baby at the gym\" class=\"sc-86c96223-0 fHZDyi\"\/>Holly Hagan-Blyth<\/p>\n<p>Rachel stresses there is no timeline for resuming sex and it is unique to every couple.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">It&#8217;s not just an issue that affects mothers. CBeebies Parenting Helpline listener Frankie, who had her baby three months ago, said her male partner had gone off sex.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;I hate my body at the moment, and all I want is a bit more attention from my partner, but he just doesn&#8217;t want to have sex with me anymore. I feel stuck.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Rachel says that men sometimes struggle to be open about their feelings.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;Stepping into fatherhood can bring up all sorts of things in a man&#8230; that could be a very big factor putting him off wanting to have sex.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Fleur Parker, a practitioner from childbirth charity the NCT, says dealing with these emotions is often not seen as a priority for men.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">&#8220;Talking honestly to your partner about how you&#8217;re feeling can really help; do not assume they know what&#8217;s happening or what you are thinking.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tips for couples starting sex again after birth<\/p>\n<p>If penetration hurts, say so. If you pretend that everything&#8217;s all right when it isn&#8217;t, you may start to see sex as unpleasant Take it gently, hormonal changes after childbirth may mean couples may need to use a lubricant to help make sex more comfortableMake time to relax together. You&#8217;re more likely to engage in intimacy when your minds are on each other rather than on other thingsGet help if you need it. If a mother is still experiencing pain when they have their postnatal check, it is important to talk to a local GP<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-9a00e533-0 bJoRPJ\">Advice provided by the <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nhs.uk\/baby\/support-and-services\/sex-and-contraception-after-birth\/#:~:text=There%20are%20no%20rules%20about,from%20pharmacies%2C%20to%20begin%20with\" class=\"sc-f9178328-0 jZoZnB\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">NHS <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Holly Hagan-Blyth Holly Hagan-Blyth opened up about intimacy after childbirth while co-hosting the CBeebies Parenting Helpline Sex is&hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":154986,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[49,50,51,47,52,48],"class_list":{"0":"post-154985","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-headlines","8":"tag-headlines","9":"tag-news","10":"tag-top-news","11":"tag-top-stories","12":"tag-topnews","13":"tag-topstories"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154985","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=154985"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154985\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/154986"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=154985"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=154985"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=154985"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}