{"id":186935,"date":"2025-10-09T02:06:09","date_gmt":"2025-10-09T02:06:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/186935\/"},"modified":"2025-10-09T02:06:09","modified_gmt":"2025-10-09T02:06:09","slug":"louis-tomlinsons-heartbreaking-promise-to-dead-mum-that-still-drives-him-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/186935\/","title":{"rendered":"Louis Tomlinson’s heartbreaking promise to dead mum \u2013 that still drives him today"},"content":{"rendered":"

Former One Direction star Louis Tomlinson has been open about suffering grief throughout his life, following the death of his mum in 2016 and the death of his sister in 2019<\/p>\n

21:00, 08 Oct 2025Updated 21:59, 08 Oct 2025<\/p>\n

\"LouisLouis has talked about his grief(Image: Getty Images)<\/p>\n

Louis Tomlinson<\/a> has spoken about how grief has impacted his life and deaths of loved ones made him feel \u201cguilty\u201d \u2013 but he now has a \u201cnew sense of life\u201d and is in love again.<\/p>\n

In a revealing interview the former One Direction<\/a> star spoke of losing his mother Johannah Deakin in 2016 around the height of his fame. His sister Felicity died from a fatal combination of drugs in March 2019 and close friend and former bandmate Liam Payne died after falling from the third floor of a hotel in Buenos Aires last year.<\/p>\n

But the interview with Steven Bartlett for his Diary of a CEO podcast had more upbeat moments as he mentioned being in \u201clove\u201d with new girlfriend Zara McDermott<\/a> and also feeling positive about his life now.<\/p>\n

READ MORE: Lou Teasdale shares heartbreaking regret over friendship with ‘lost’ Liam Payne<\/a>READ MORE: Louis Tomlinson heartbreakingly reflects on Liam Payne’s ‘unjust and frustrating’ death<\/a>\"FelicityFelicity Tomlinson died in 2019(Image: Internet Unknown)\"Louis’ mum died from leukaemia aged 43(Image: Getty Images)<\/p>\n

Singer Louis, 33, said losing his mum aged just 42 to leukaemia was very difficult to cope with.<\/p>\n

He recalled: \u201cObviously, there\u2019s no good time for anything like this, but I think the timing created a bit of\u2026true resentment for the world<\/a>. Like, real resentment. Just feeling really hard done by.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne thing I remember about grief, when you\u2019re in the midst of it, you could stub your toe, right? And something like that is just utterly unjust. Little things like that I really struggled with when I was grieving. Because of the weight of stuff that had happened, there was just a moment in my life, for about six months, where it felt like I couldn\u2019t win, and in fact, I could only lose.\u201d<\/p>\n

He agreed to perform on stage with One Direction three days after her death as he had promised her he would but said the three-and-a-half minutes on stage were the most challenging of his life.<\/p>\n

\"LiamLiam died last year(Image: Getty Images)<\/p>\n

Moving on to discuss his sister Felicity, he added: \u201cI couldn\u2019t believe how deeply unlucky we\u2019d been as a family. Maybe it\u2019s not overly uncommon\u2026but at the time, I felt angry at life and I felt angry on behalf of my family.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t be thinking, \u2018What have I done to deserve this?\u2019, it was more Daisy and Phoebe are so young, and Lottie [his sisters] as well. They\u2019ve already had so much to deal with. Why this and why now? It did feel incredibly, incredibly unfair.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d been worried about Felicity for months prior as I was worried about all my sisters. The doorbell rang at one in the morning or something, maybe midnight, and I had this feeling come over me straight away\u2026 they told me that she had passed away and I literally was like, \u2018Okay\u2019, I can\u2019t tell you why. Not only was I in denial at the moment, I just refused to compute it.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Liam Payne died, it took Louis back to that time again. He explained: \u201cI had the same feeling that I had with Felicity, and I think anyone has this when they\u2019re around someone who\u2019s struggling; my 150% wasn\u2019t nearly enough. And that\u2019s when it\u2019s my own arrogance thinking that I could have helped really, because it was so much deeper than what I could have done for him. He was definitely struggling at that time in his life.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that was a tough thing for all of us, working out \u2018Who am I outside of Liam in One Direction? Louis in One Direction? Who am I? What does that look like?\u2019 And that question\u2019s intimidating.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could just go on and talk all day about how amazing he was, but I think we all looked up to him. I don\u2019t think we would have been brave enough to say at that age when I was in the band, I think I would\u2019ve had too much pride, but we all looked up to him massively.\u201d<\/p>\n

Although he is good friends with Zayn Malik and they are set to work together again, Louis said he felt much closer to Liam than the other band members and their conversations were more in-depth. This also makes it harder for Louis to believe he has gone.<\/p>\n

On discussing life after One Direction with other band members, Louis said: \u201cTo be honest, that would only happen between me and Liam. Between me and the other boys, not that it\u2019s not emotional because it is, and it\u2019s definitely deeper than surface level, but I would struggle to text the other boys as much […] it\u2019s just all a bit small talk. Which is lovely, and it\u2019s nice to catch up like that, but me and Liam would always speak on a much more deep level […] I feel bad saying this because I feel arrogant but I shouldn\u2019t, but I wanted to look after him. That was a role I feel like I was there to play.\u201d<\/p>\n

He added: \u201cI would say he [Liam] was the closest to being my brother. Love him deeply, could spend hours and hours and hours with him, but there was an element of always checking in and just making sure that he was cool like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

The interview also features more upbeat themes as Louis discusses his new album How Did I Get Here? Which comes out in January and his newfound happiness as inspiration. In recent months he has begun dating documentary maker Zara McDermott.<\/p>\n

And he said: \u201cI\u2019m a deeply, deeply romantic person. It\u2019s also easy to to be romantic when you are a creative. I really struggle to write in a fictional sense, I really struggle.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor me, I have to have been living it, it has to be real to me. So if I wasn\u2019t feeling so good, like right now, I wasn\u2019t feeling so in love\u2026the record probably would have a slightly different feel to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

He added: \u201cOne thing I was thinking about with this record, my intention is just to maybe feel good. I know that\u2019s a really cliche and obvious thing to say, but I\u2019m not sure some of my other music did that.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt made you feel, it was honest, it was painful at times, but it didn\u2019t feel good. So I think now I\u2019ve got this almost new sense of life, a new sense of happiness, and purpose, and fulfilment, all those things.\u201d<\/p>\n

And taking inspiration from the Gallagher brothers, Oasis fan Liam also admitted he would not rule out a One Direction reunion one day.<\/p>\n

Liam went to see Oasis during their UK comeback shows. And he said: \u201cNever say never, right, but I\u2019m just not sure it would be right to him. Say for the sake of argument, 25 year\u2019s time, it\u2019s like a f*cking Oasis thing, they offer us an arm and a leg, and they\u2019re like, \u2018Come back and do this many shows\u2019, I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just completely put a pin in all of that. And the irony is, there was no one campaigning for One Direction to get back more than Liam. I would say I came in a close second.\u201d<\/p>\n

The full interview with Louis is on the latest Diary Of A CEO podcast, out now.<\/p>\n

Like this story? For more of the latest showbiz news and gossip, follow Mirror Celebs on TikTok<\/a>, Snapchat<\/a>, Instagram<\/a>, Twitter<\/a>, Facebook<\/a>, YouTube<\/a> and Threads<\/a>.<\/p>\n