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The other day, my friend\u2019s 16-year-old daughter messaged her to ask: \u2018Mum, do I ever seem narcissistic? I just did a TikTok quiz.\u2019 As her teen had already asked if she might need therapy for ADHD or Borderline Personality Disorder, this time my friend smiled wryly before replying: \u2018No, but these questions are certainly giving me anxiety.\u2019 While it\u2019s true her daughter can be as self-centred as any teenager, she certainly doesn\u2019t have a personality disorder – and at this stage of her identity development, she\u2019s far too young for even the most experienced professional to make a diagnosis. What we DO all have are smartphones, constantly serving us a carousel of social media posts<\/a> offering mental health conditions like menu choices.<\/p>\n Of course, understanding our minds better is no bad thing. In 2025, we\u2019re more open than ever about personal struggles and far likely to reach out for help than try to push through. But that brings a new risk: the rise of overly simplistic self-diagnosis.<\/p>\n This week, Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson took a major step to address the growing number of young people not entering the workplace after school because they feel unable to cope. In response, she\u2019s introducing changes to the Relationships, Sex and Health Education curriculum, aiming to provide a more nuanced picture.<\/p>\n \u2018It will equip children to develop grit and resilience from the get-go, helping them understand that feeling a little down or anxious for a while is normal and nothing to worry about, and not, in itself, a sign of a mental health condition.\u2019<\/p>\n There does seem to have been a shift. Not only have requests for newer diagnoses like ADHD exploded<\/a>, but according to a recent study in the journal PLOS ONE, terms like \u2018anxiety\u2019 and \u2018depression\u2019 have also become catch-alls over the last 50 years. Researchers found they\u2019ve shifted from describing serious psychiatric states to being used for the most normal feelings of sadness or worry. So how do we tell what\u2019s helpful \u2013 and what\u2019s harmful \u2013 for young people and for ourselves?<\/p>\n Is it a normal worry – or anxiety? <\/p>\n If you didn\u2019t think you had high-functioning anxiety <\/a>before, half an hour on TikTok could easily convince you otherwise. Tear-streaked influencers gaze into the distance to a soundtrack of moody piano music, describing \u2018the living hell\u2019 of being \u2018crippled\u2019 and \u2018suffocated\u2019 by anxiety symptoms as diverse as people-pleasing, self-doubt and feeling nervous in new situations.<\/p>\n As a Gestalt psychotherapy counsellor, I\u2019d say that when we label ourselves as \u201chaving anxiety\u201d rather than saying \u201cI\u2019m having an anxious thought,\u201d we\u2019re telling ourselves we can\u2019t cope. Research shows that when psychiatric labels become part of our identity, they can actually block us from moving on. Our symptoms can also develop to fit the diagnosis we\u2019ve given ourselves.<\/p>\n It\u2019s more helpful to dig down and work out what you\u2019re really feeling, rather than slap on a label that only makes it more overwhelming. Is it anxiety \u2013 or just a worry about having a lot on your plate? Stressed about work? Might it be time for a break, better boundaries or some delegation? If you\u2019re anxious your partner might cheat on you after the wedding, are you imagining a scenario that hasn\u2019t even happened yet? Would it help to remind yourself that, right now, everything\u2019s fine?<\/p>\n In a culture so focused on optimising wellness, we forget that just as physically healthy people can get ill, mentally well people also have down days<\/p>\n None of these feelings are pleasant. But instead of trying to push them away, it helps to remind yourself they are your brain\u2019s way of trying to protect you. A certain amount of worry isn\u2019t just normal. It\u2019s necessary. It helps keep us motivated to do what needs to be done. Rather than pathologise them, it\u2019s more effective to notice and process them.<\/p>\n One way to do this is to try the 90-second rule: This means tuning into how the neurochemicals of stress and fear show up in your body, observing them \u2013 and then letting them pass. According to neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor:<\/p>\n \u201cWhen a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there\u2019s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body, it takes less than 90 seconds. This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away. \u2018After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you\u2019re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological response over and over again.\u201d<\/p>\n So am I having a bad day \u2013 or is it depression?<\/p>\n Feeling low? Spend too much time with some influencers on social media and you may start to fear you\u2019re trapped in a quicksand of depression with no way out. In reality, most sad feelings are a sign your emotions are in proper working order \u2013 a normal response to life\u2019s inevitable lows. In a culture so focused on optimising wellness, we forget that just as physically healthy people can get ill, mentally well people also have down days.<\/p>\n Sad feelings shift with time, rest or a change in activity; depression lasts several weeks or more<\/p>\n Pexels<\/p>\n Again, it helps to get more granular. Is the sadness a response to a disappointment that feels like a failure \u2013 like not getting a job you really wanted? Are those painful, visceral feelings when you \u2018get something wrong\u2019 echoes of shame from childhood, when it was used as a disciplinary tool \u2013 and has now become internalised? Is what you\u2019re calling depression actually anger and irritation you don\u2019t feel able to express \u2013 now turned inwards on yourself?<\/p>\n The key difference between feeling low and having depression is how long those feelings last. Most sad feelings shift with time, rest, care, comfort, or a change in activity.<\/p>\n Depression tends to be a whole-body experience that lasts several weeks or more, in which you also feel tired, lacking in energy, your appetite changes, and you no longer enjoy things you used to. All these are signs you need to seek advice from a medical professional. <\/p>\n How to become more resilient<\/p>\n So how do we get more resilient in a world that constantly tells us there\u2019s something wrong with us?<\/p>\n With all the mental health talk, it might seem like the best option is to opt out of the conversation. But research consistently shows that processing emotions, whether by noticing them in your body, writing them down, or talking them through with someone who really listens, is key to better mental balance.<\/p>\n![\"Sad](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/pexels-anntarazevich-6173661.jpeg\")
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