{"id":227378,"date":"2025-10-27T01:47:07","date_gmt":"2025-10-27T01:47:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/227378\/"},"modified":"2025-10-27T01:47:07","modified_gmt":"2025-10-27T01:47:07","slug":"dont-let-comparison-waste-your-time-or-your-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/227378\/","title":{"rendered":"Don\u2019t Let Comparison Waste Your Time\u2014Or Your Money"},"content":{"rendered":"

On this episode of The Long View<\/a>, author, advisor, podcast host, and former New York Times columnist, Carl Richards, breaks down how he helps advisors set their clients up for success, how people can find what they truly want to spend their money on, and lessons from his money-related sketches from his latest book called Your Money: Reimagining Wealth in 101 Simple Sketches.<\/p>\n

Listen to the full episode of The Long View. Carl Richards: The Case for \u2018Deeply Human\u2019 Financial Advice <\/p>\n

The author and advisor to financial advisors discusses some of his favorite money-related sketches, the \u2018fake advice industry,\u2019 and how to have better conversations about money.<\/p>\n

\"Image<\/a><\/p>\n

Here are a few highlights from Richards\u2019s conversation<\/a> with Morningstar\u2019s Christine Benz<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Let Comparison Waste Your Time\u2014Or Your Money<\/p>\n

Christine Benz: I think it was Brian Portnoy who made an astute point\u2014we have all heard about how if we\u2019re going to spend our money, our best ROI is spending on experiences, especially with loved ones. But he made the point that now that we can all see everybody else\u2019s experiences, is that going to diminish our own experiences somehow if now they can be weighed and measured alongside other people thanks to social media? What do you think about that point?<\/p>\n

Carl Richards: Yeah, I think it\u2019s a huge problem. Because now it just becomes one more place we could compare and compete. And I think again, it really points to this need for intentional conversation around like what really matters to you. Gretchen Rubin was it, yeah it was\u2014it was Gretchen Rubin on my podcast 50 Fires she talked about how she was at\u2014this story was so great. She was at some event in New York as one does I guess, like a cocktail party or something, and somebody came up and Gretchen was just either coming back or on their way on a trip to the mountains to ski, so I\u2019m sure it was Colorado because the skiing is terrible in Utah, you shouldn\u2019t come to Utah to ski. That\u2019s just a joke. And this lady says to her, \u201cAre you going to ski?\u201d And Gretchen\u2019s like, \u201cNo we don\u2019t ski. We don\u2019t like to ski, my husband doesn\u2019t like to ski; we don\u2019t like to ski.\u201d And the lady really insists like, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to ski! I didn\u2019t like it either, and I\u2019ve started skiing. You got to ski; it\u2019s the best thing. You got to ski.\u201d Gretchen is like \u201cNo, no we don\u2019t ski, it\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

And the lady went away, and she came back, she came back sometime later, 15-20 minutes, 30 minutes, and said, \u201cYou know what I realized in talking to you? I don\u2019t like skiing either. I\u2019ve just been doing it because it was what you do.\u201d And I was like that is so interesting. I have lots of stories about that for me. Like dinner and a movie with friends. My wife and I went through this time where we were like we want to build more connection with some close friends. So let\u2019s systematically invite friends, let\u2019s go every, whatever, like twice a month on Friday night. And what should we do? OK we\u2019ll go to a movie and dinner because we want deeper connection with friends. And after like five times we were like wait, if the goal was deeper connection, we were just in a noisy restaurant and a movie. So we\u2019re like but that\u2019s what everybody does so that\u2019s of course what you should do. We don\u2019t like movies, and we actually don\u2019t love eating out. You know what we love doing? Let\u2019s buy all the ingredients, come over, plan on two to three hours, we\u2019ll make the meal, we\u2019ll talk. We like that. And it turns out that was less expensive, but that was not the point; it was a better expression of the value of connection. So I think what you\u2019re pointing to makes this even more important. How do you get clear about your goals? And by the way that\u2019s a practice that\u2019s never done because you\u2019ll be wrong. Your guesses will be wrong. Five million dollars on a sailboat\u2014well have you ever been on a sailboat? Go try that first.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s Time to Start Experimenting With What You Want<\/p>\n

Benz: Well that\u2019s something I want to delve into is\u2014and we\u2019ve talked about this with you before\u2014but the idea of enough, finding your enough, finding what your values are. What are some key questions people should ask themselves to try to get to the bottom of that?<\/p>\n

Richards: I really think that I have a heavy bias toward action for this experience. So start by some questions and some conversations around \u201cmake a guess.\u201d And this is coming up a lot. I think it\u2019s the age cohort of like 45- to 60-year-old who\u2019s been working, working, working, working because that\u2019s what we all did. And is now saying\u2014I just had this conversation with the chief creative at a public company everybody would recognize, the head of creative. And he\u2019s like, \u201cI don\u2019t have any hobbies. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m going to do five years from now. I need to figure it out.\u201d So, OK we start there, and we say let\u2019s just guess, like just a guess and some of the places you can look for hints: What podcasts do you listen to? If you were still getting magazine subscriptions, what magazines are arriving at your house? If Gun Dog Weekly or Gardening is arriving, you got some hints. What conversations are you interested in?<\/p>\n

Then you could go back 20 or 30 years and be like, what did you used to like to do? OK, so we\u2019ve got a guess. And then my bias toward action is go take the smallest experience you can with that. Go do it and see what shows up, because new information will show up. And this is the same thing with the concept of enough. Enough\u2014we\u2019ve talked about this, but enough can\u2019t be a number or else you\u2019ll never get there. So how do you define your enough? Well you start to test things, like what if\u2014I was just having this conversation with Ron Lieber and Jodi Kantor were out here for 4th of July and we were talking about, and I can\u2019t remember who it is, was it Paige Pritchard? It might have been Paige Pritchard who wrote about her no-spend year, no-spend month.<\/p>\n

Those are really interesting exercises of like well what if I didn\u2019t buy any more running gear this year and I just used what I had, is that enough? What if we went on a\u2014I was just talking to another friend who this year decided to do a staycation in somebody else\u2019s house is what he called it. So they drove to a rental place in the countryside of Virginia. They didn\u2019t spend any other real money. They ate at the house, the house had a pool, they went on lots of walks, like what if that was enough? We didn\u2019t have to fly somewhere. How was that? So just start testing, running little experiments. Morgan Housel famously says that he\u2019s supposed to be a car guy because he was a valet when he was 18 in Los Angeles. And everybody tells him he should be a car guy, and he could afford to be a car guy.<\/p>\n

Well an experiment he runs is when he goes to the Hertz counter\u2014he said that once every couple years he has to run this experiment. He\u2019ll just be like, you know what, it\u2019s an extra $200, give me the Porsche. And he said he doesn\u2019t even have to drive; he doesn\u2019t even get off the lot before he\u2019s saying to himself, \u201cI admire this. The craftsmanship is amazing, but it\u2019s just not something I need.\u201d Well that\u2019s a very cheap way to learn that versus buying the car. So that\u2019s kind of how I would run experiments, see what I notice; run experiments, see what I notice. And one of the things you got to keep in your mind is everybody else loves this; well you\u2019re running an experiment to find out if you do.<\/p>\n

For Retirees, the Permission to Spend Is All About Practice<\/p>\n

Benz: I wanted to ask about older adults. I\u2019ve been spending a lot of time talking and thinking about retirement planning, and it seems that many folks at that life stage truly do struggle giving themselves permission to spend what they could spend. How can people at that life stage get more comfortable with the spending they do and maybe even do some lifetime giving to their loved ones versus leaving it as a bequest when they\u2019re gone? Can you talk about planning to spend at that life stage?<\/p>\n

Richards: Yeah, this is another surprise to me, the number of times this topic\u2014I\u2019ve run into it lots in my own planning work when I was running my own firm. I hear a lot about it from financial advisors. But all these conversations I\u2019m having lately, this has come up so often and it\u2019s so fascinating to me. And it\u2019s easy to understand, like the reason\u2014if you\u2019re in a position where you\u2019ve been successful, which a lot of the listeners of this show either are or advise people that are in that position. The very habits and traits and characteristics that got you there delayed gratification. You\u2019re really good at that.<\/p>\n

You might even be good at being frugal, but certainly delaying gratification, investing for the future, waiting, and now you\u2019re at the spot you\u2019ve been waiting for. And you\u2019ve been waiting for this thing, you\u2019ve been successful, you waited for this thing. So what do you do now? And it\u2019s antithetical to your very identity, and so I think you practice. The same thing we do, you just practice. Look, the research is clear, but you don\u2019t need another lecture about the research. This behavior is perfectly rational, but now the situation you\u2019re in, it\u2019s slightly irrational to be at the spot where you could put the golf shoes on and refuse to do it. Or maybe even more interestingly, wouldn\u2019t it be fun to spend a little bit of time with the grandkids doing things they love? Oh man I have this one grandkid that really wants to learn to sail and his parents are busy, and they don\u2019t have\u2014can I go spend a week at a sailing camp? And I could kind of be on the shore or even sail with them? That\u2019s going to cost some money. The research is pretty clear that, and you pointed to Brian\u2019s work and many other people about this funded contentment.<\/p>\n

So practice, and like anything you\u2019d practice, start small. This is funny, Christine and I are asking you to go spend some money. Tomorrow, I want you to find something and ideally find something small that you\u2019ve always just wanted. You don\u2019t even need it; you just wanted to do it. It\u2019s small, it\u2019s $25, it\u2019s $100, it\u2019s $5. Maybe it\u2019s even to the point of you bought into the latte thing; you didn\u2019t buy coffee out because you were saving, but you love coffee out. Go tomorrow morning to your favorite coffee shop. Feel the whole way through it, buy your favorite thing; it\u2019s going to be $12. Sit in your favorite seat with the book that you\u2019ve been reading, and enjoy it and feel the enjoyment of it. And it\u2019s a $12 rep, a $12 practice. And I think that\u2019s what you do, you rewire it until you get to the point where you\u2019re like, you know what, I\u2019m going to pay for my grandson\u2019s entire education, because I\u2019m so excited about the fact that he wants to become an electrician. I\u2019m going to fund a scholarship for women who are getting into biomedical engineering. I think the way you get there is you practice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"On this episode of The Long View, author, advisor, podcast host, and former New York Times columnist, Carl…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":227379,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[84,4176,4174,4175,56,54,55],"class_list":{"0":"post-227378","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-business","9":"tag-finance","10":"tag-personal-finance","11":"tag-personalfinance","12":"tag-uk","13":"tag-united-kingdom","14":"tag-unitedkingdom"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227378","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=227378"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227378\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/227379"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=227378"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=227378"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=227378"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}