{"id":228789,"date":"2025-10-27T20:26:08","date_gmt":"2025-10-27T20:26:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/228789\/"},"modified":"2025-10-27T20:26:08","modified_gmt":"2025-10-27T20:26:08","slug":"steven-finn-saying-i-was-not-selectable-was-clumsy-language-and-it-damaged-me-england-cricket-team","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/228789\/","title":{"rendered":"Steven Finn: \u2018Saying I was not selectable was clumsy language and it damaged me\u2019 | England cricket team"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI couldn\u2019t get the words out because I was crying,\u201d Steven Finn says as he remembers how, hunched over a microphone, he stared at the last lines he was meant to read aloud for the audio version of his raw and revealing new book<\/a>. Emotion clogged his throat after he had belonged to three Ashes-winning England squads, while never feeling he fulfilled his immense wicket-taking talent, and having ended up lost and broken on the 2013-14 tour of Australia.<\/p>\n

Finn tried again but stifled crying\u00a0choked his reading. He looked up and nodded at the encouraging producer. His mouth almost crumpled but, this time, he\u00a0got through it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI learned that the stuff in the book is still raw and emotional, more so than I realised,\u201d the amiable and intelligent former fast\u00a0bowler says now. He maintains eye contact throughout our interview, his honesty matching the book\u2019s unflinching tone.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you\u2019re talking to a therapist, you learn how to not let it extrapolate to a point where it\u2019s really bad. But writing the book, and reading it, evoked emotions that still hurt me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn had a fine career<\/a>, playing 126 times for England across three formats and taking 254 wickets. In his 36 Tests he took 125 wickets. When he retired two years ago, Mike Atherton\u2019s tribute included this telling line: \u201cFor all the ups and downs, only 24 fast or fast-medium bowlers have taken more Test wickets for England.\u201d<\/p>\n

But Finn is candid. \u201cA lot of those emotions are still there: embarrassment, shame, letting people down. They remain because\u00a0I could and should have done a lot more.\u201d<\/p>\n

The 36-year-old listens intently when I suggest that pride should be his dominant emotion. He nods.\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m very proud I came back\u00a0the way that I did. I\u2019m really proud of the resilience. I\u2019m actually a more rounded and better\u00a0person\u00a0but reading those last\u00a0pages meant deep-down emotions came to the surface.\u201d<\/p>\n

Steven Finn: \u2018I was so mean and harsh on myself because I had that desperation to make the most of my height, bounce and pace.\u2019 Photograph: Sarah Lee\/The Guardian<\/p>\n

Finn took 14 wickets in the first three Tests of England\u2019s crushing victory in Australia in 2010-11. But problems with his run-up and shattered psyche meant he did not play at all in the 2013-14 Ashes. England lost 5-0 and he was sent home<\/a>, in misery, during the white\u2011ball internationals. Ashley\u00a0Giles, England\u2019s coach in the\u00a0shorter formats, said he was \u201cnot selectable\u201d<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Finn\u2019s book includes extracts from the diaries he wrote in Australia and he says: \u201cThey make me feel sad. I was so mean and harsh on myself because I had that desperation to make the most of my height [6ft 7in], bounce and pace. Every fast bowler craves such\u00a0positives and I was naturally gifted with those.\u201d<\/p>\n

In 2013, Finn was \u201cat my wits\u2019 end after the first Test. We\u2019d been in Australia for a month and I was making no progress, despite how hard I was working, and how desperately I wanted it to be better.\u00a0That\u2019s counterintuitive because the more you tense up, the less likely you are to find that rhythmical flow. I was banging my head against a brick wall and it exacerbated to the point when Ashley Giles arrived and thought: \u2018Christ, this isn\u2019t right.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Giles\u2019s chosen phrase haunted Finn for years<\/a>. \u201cI hope I don\u2019t sound\u00a0harsh on Ashley but it was clumsy language and I think it damaged me.\u201d<\/p>\n

David Saker, England\u2019s bowling coach, had persuaded him to shorten his run-up \u2013 and Finn\u2019s technique and mentality were shot to pieces. Richard Johnson, his Middlesex bowling coach, worked painstakingly to rebuild him. Rather than running, Finn was reduced to walking to the wicket in an attempt to liberate his mind. He could eventually jog and then run with a ball; but Finn still had to overcome the doubts wrapped around his tangled mind.<\/p>\n

His return to Test cricket in July\u00a02015 was an extraordinary triumph<\/a>. Finn took eight wickets in the third Ashes Test at Edgbaston<\/a>, and helped England to win the Ashes.<\/p>\n

Has he watched those glorious highlights recently? \u201cNo,\u00a0but a long time ago I put together this PowerPoint presentation about how to withstand the crosswinds that blow\u00a0you off course \u2013 whether it\u2019s your mindset or external judgment \u2013 and how you can still reach your end goal. For me it culminated in those wickets at Edgbaston.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn took eight wickets at Edgbaston to help England win the Ashes in 2015. Photograph: Philip Brown\/Reuters<\/p>\n

Did he share his presentation in public? \u201cI did it to an empty auditorium and never got further than that. I was planning for life after cricket and trying to show how the adversity I faced was related to sport, business and life. At Edgbaston my mindset was completely clear and free again. I\u00a0still smile when I think about it so I might try and use the PowerPoint one day. But, back then, my life went down a different path.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn could not shake the lingering demons and he was besieged again by anxiety. He now believes he had failed to understand the depths to which he had sunk in 2013. \u201c[Depression] wasn\u2019t really spoken about by men back then. Jonathan Trott went home on that tour [with mental health difficulties] and was vilified by the press, supporters, everyone. That put my guard up because I thought you can\u2019t display\u00a0vulnerability.\u201d<\/p>\n

Andy Flower was England\u2019s coach on that fateful tour and, while he did show Finn some compassion, his antidote to mental turmoil was rooted in hard work. \u201cThat was my mindset throughout the tour,\u201d Finn says as he flogged himself in solitary net sessions. \u201cIt took me being removed from the international environment, losing my central contract after I came home from Australia [and the 2017\u201118 Ashes] with my knee surgery to finally speaking to an independent psychologist.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn sobbed after being asked a few questions by the psychologist. \u201cI allowed myself to be vulnerable and the tears were extreme. I struggled to deal with it for the next six years. It\u2019s only since I\u2019ve stopped playing cricket that I feel freer.\u201d<\/p>\n

He pauses. \u201cI went on medication for a while because there were moments when it really\u00a0flared up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Was he on medication during the\u00a0latter years of his career? \u201cYes.\u00a0I\u2019ve never told anyone that before, apart from my close family.\u201d<\/p>\n

Did the medication help? \u201cIt did \u2026 but you feel a bit dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

As a Test cricketer he was not helped by the fact that Flower believed that no fast bowler should concede more than three runs an over \u2013 especially around 2011-12. \u201cThe way we played, bowling dry, worked,\u201d Finn concedes. \u201cIt won us games, got us to No 1 in the world, won us an away Ashes.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Finn bowled many wicket\u2011taking balls but he could also be expensive. \u201cIf I\u2019d been in\u00a0a different environment where I\u00a0felt more free, would I have done\u00a0better? Maybe, yes, but I probably wouldn\u2019t have played in a great team and won a lot of things. But, looking at it selfishly, I\u2019d have loved to play under Ben Stokes and\u00a0Brendon McCullum who\u00a0empower their bowlers to try and take wickets.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn would \u2018have loved to play under Ben Stokes\u2019. Photograph: Gareth Copley\/Getty Images<\/p>\n

McCullum played with Finn for Otago, for a short period, and briefly at Middlesex in T20. \u201cIt was liberating to be captained by him,\u201d Finn says. \u201cIf he thought you were being too defensive he\u2019d say: \u2018Fuck it. Back yourself.\u2019 His mantra is that cricket should be enjoyed. The more you embrace it, the more you\u2019re going to get out of yourself.<\/p>\n

\u201cMcCullum and Stokes channel people\u2019s energy towards the positive by trying to remove the external pressure. I know I would have responded better to them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn heads to Australia next month to work as a television pundit and he is enthusiastic: \u201cI\u00a0think this is England\u2019s best chance in 15 years to win the Ashes. This England team won\u2019t be\u00a0bullied\u00a0by Australia. In 2013\u201114 we were bullied by Mitchell\u00a0Johnson. In 2017-2018 we were bullied by their entire team. Same in 2021-22. This team, led by Stokes, won\u2019t take a backward step.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou need that mindset and positivity, and you need Australia to be in a little turbulence, which I think they are without Pat Cummins. I\u2019m not sure about their\u00a0openers. [Marnus] Labuschagne is scoring runs<\/a> [domestically], but he\u2019s been out of\u00a0the Test team. How are they going to fit in their all-rounders [Beau] Webster and [Cameron] Green? There are a lot more question marks about Australia.\u201d<\/p>\n

As a towering speedster, Finn must be happy that England have opted for a seriously quick pace attack<\/a>? \u201cYes, but I\u2019d like a more nuanced view. Some pitches have much more useful conditions for seam than pure pace.\u201d<\/p>\n

Who is England\u2019s key bowler? \u201cJofra Archer has got a massive part to play because of his ability to trouble a really settled middle order in [Travis] Head and [Steve] Smith. His pace,\u00a0bounce and hostility could rip\u00a0out the heart of their team. Jofra\u00a0is probably our most important bowler.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn (back row, right) was part of England\u2019s 2010-11 win in Australia. Photograph: Gareth Copley\/PA<\/p>\n

Mark Wood bowled brilliantly in the previous Ashes series in Australia, despite England losing 4\u20110, and Finn says: \u201cHis pace and carry is really threatening in that part of the world. He has skill as well and he\u2019ll never give up. They all offer something. The bounce Gus Atkinson gets, and using his wobble seam in the right conditions, could be a real threat. Brydon Carse is lionhearted and will run in all day. Josh Tongue is capable of bowling magic spells from his awkward angle.\u201d<\/p>\n

The fitness of Stokes, especially as a bowler, is crucial. \u201cIt will be hard for him to be fit for all five Tests,\u201d Finn says. \u201cBut I know how hard he\u2019s working and he is critical to England because the shape and the angle he has on the ball is really threatening. I just hope that, when he wants to bowl a 15\u2011over spell, someone taps him on the shoulder and says: \u2018Not today.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn has become an outstanding pundit whose empathy deepens his analysis. \u201cI really enjoy the punditry. But my experiences of being built up really high when I started playing, and kicked when I was down, makes me realise it\u2019s important to have balance.\u201d<\/p>\n

He recently took a bespoke coaching course alongside Wood, Chris Woakes, Chris Jordan and Sarah Taylor. The competitive side of coaching appeals to Finn, as does the prospect of helping young bowlers to fulfil their potential: \u201cI\u2019d like to be an empathetic coach who understands individuals and listens. It\u2019s important you have a\u00a0clear direction of how you want\u00a0to\u00a0play. But empathy is critical. I enjoy writing and I\u2019d like\u00a0to develop as a broadcaster, but\u00a0I definitely wouldn\u2019t shut the door on the coaching because I\u2019d\u00a0find it rewarding.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finn lights up when explaining that \u201cI get so much joy and satisfaction from working for TMS [Test Match Special]. After I retired I threw myself into TMS and did a tour of India with Aggers [Jonathan Agnew] for the World Cup. I found a\u00a0really safe, happy place.\u201d<\/p>\n

All the dark doubts of the past melt away and Finn, looking serene, smiles when I ask him what\u00a0he hopes to be doing 10 years from now. \u201cI would absolutely love\u00a0to be the voice of TMS. A\u00a0massive line of people would like to do the same thing \u2013 but that would be the ultimate dream.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Ashes Files: My Pride and Pain in Cricket\u2019s Most Intense Series, by Steven Finn, is published on\u00a06\u00a0November<\/p>\n

In the UK, the charity Mind is available on 0300 123 3393 and Childline on 0800 1111. In the US, call or text Mental Health America at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. In Australia, support is available at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, Lifeline on 13 11 14, and at MensLine on 1300 789 978<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u201cI couldn\u2019t get the words out because I was crying,\u201d Steven Finn says as he remembers how, hunched…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":228790,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[1721,101,56,54,55],"class_list":{"0":"post-228789","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-cricket","8":"tag-cricket","9":"tag-sports","10":"tag-uk","11":"tag-united-kingdom","12":"tag-unitedkingdom"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228789","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=228789"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228789\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/228790"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=228789"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=228789"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=228789"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}