So it was on nobody\u2019s bingo card that a quarter of a century after they released their first single aged 15, those three girls who formed Sugababes in their school uniforms \u2014 now women in their forties with children of their own \u2014 would once again be recording new music and selling out stadium gigs, their appearances at Glastonbury in 2022 and 2024 shutting down stages due to demand, particularly among their ardent new Gen Z fanbase<\/a>.<\/p>\n Sugababes in 2001<\/p>\n GETTY IMAGES<\/p>\n Buena, 40, has also written a memoir, detailing the odd, lurid life of a very young pop star \u2014 the partying and paps, the drugs, drink and hijinks \u2014 but also in Buena\u2019s case, some abusive relationships, self-harm, anxiety, depression and suicide attempts. If confirmation were ever needed that the Noughties were a toxic time to be famous and female, Real Girl delivers it, vividly and colourfully.<\/p>\n The day before I am due to meet Buena, the Tory MP Jack Rankin posts a snarky response to Nigel Farage\u2019s photograph of the five current Reform UK<\/a> MPs with the caption, \u201cLike the Sugarbabes this, can\u2019t keep track of the line-up.\u201d While the insult is rather undermined by Rankin\u2019s misspelling, it is nonetheless symbolic of the band\u2019s current status in the cultural consciousness (even among Tory MPs).<\/p>\n Yet in the lobby of the Hoxton hotel, I almost miss Buena, who is 20 minutes early and sporting a short blonde wig, with apparently none of the moody aloofness of repute. When I finally spot her, in a black T-shirt bearing the slogan \u201cManeater\u201d, three-inch copper talons and arms and neck bedecked in tattoos, Buena goes straight in for the hug.<\/p>\n \u2022 The original Sugababes: \u2018There was a lot of trauma for everyone\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n \u201cA lot of people thought I was quite rude. I remember getting called a bitch quite a lot. But I really wasn\u2019t. I just didn\u2019t know smiling was a thing,\u201d she insists, when we\u2019ve settled at a table in the restaurant. \u201cI was a teenager \u2014 teenagers don\u2019t smile a lot. And I was from northwest London, where people didn\u2019t smile,\u201d she says with a laugh, before wondering aloud whether we should order wine (it\u2019s not yet midday).<\/p>\n Growing up in Kingsbury, the daughter of a Filipino father and an East End\/Irish mother, Buena was the fifth of nine children, raised in a \u201cchaotic and rowdy\u201d three-bedroom flat.<\/p>\n Her father was strict \u2014 as were her four older brothers \u2014 but as the eldest girl, \u201cI was also his princess, so there was nothing I could do wrong.\u201d She played this to her advantage, one of \u201cthe wild ones who hung out on the estate smoking weed\u201d.<\/p>\n The one thing she was always serious about was music. Her father was a talented guitarist, and, \u201cWe\u2019d all sit around singing \u2014 it was like The Sound of Music,\u201d she says, laughing.<\/p>\n Buena performing in 2024<\/p>\n REDFERNS<\/p>\n As a child, Buena performed at events in the Philippine community, \u201cbeing asked to sing at weddings, funerals, birthday parties\u201d, and spent the weekends at a local stage school. By the age of ten, she\u2019d joined a professional youth dance company and appeared on Michael Barrymore\u2019s TV show singing Whitney Houston\u2019s The Greatest Love of All.<\/p>\n By 11, she\u2019d befriended her fellow performer and future bandmate Buchanan, and was speaking to music managers. And by 13, with the addition of Donaghy, the trio were performing at showcases for music industry executives.<\/p>\n \u201cI do question, sometimes, where our parents\u2019 heads were at,\u201d she reflects today. \u201cI do think it was a young age for that, and I don\u2019t think record labels would want to take that risk now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u2022 \u2018Labels should pay for therapy\u2019 \u2014 the Kooks\u2019 frontman on teen fame<\/a><\/p>\n But with risks came substantial rewards: Sugababes signed a lucrative deal with London Records and, at just 13, Buena bought her parents a house with the proceeds. \u201cNow, people sign you for \u00a320,00 to \u00a330,000. Back then, you were getting, like, half a mill,\u201d says Buena. \u201cAnd houses were a lot cheaper too.\u201d<\/p>\n Overload reached No 6 in the charts, was nominated for a Brit award for best single, and the band appeared on Top of the Pops. But Buena\u2019s memories of those days are hazy, she says. \u201cA lot of things seem very blurry to me. There\u2019s so many things that make me sit down and go, \u2018Did that really happen? Am I imagining it? Was I really there?\u2019 I think, being young, taking it all in, everything\u2019s very overwhelming.\u201d<\/p>\n Little surprise, really, given a tour schedule she recently found from the time. \u201cThere\u2019s literally one day off on it. In the whole year. And most of that time, we were in Germany anyway. I was practically living in Munich and Frankfurt.<\/p>\n \u201cSome of the adults we dealt with cared more about our worth than our wellbeing,\u201d she says. \u201cAs long as we were making money for them, they couldn\u2019t give two shits about what was going on in our heads or our hearts as children.\u201d<\/p>\n Commercial success in the Noughties also attracted the paparazzi, who patrolled London on motorbikes (\u201cFollowing you all the way to your house\u201d), brought upskirting<\/a> (\u201cI regularly had photographers taking pictures up my skirt, or trying to, when I was still under 18\u201d) and the casual criticism of women\u2019s bodies. \u201cI felt bullied by the media,\u201d says Buena, who thought there was always someone ready \u201cto write that I was fat or miserable or a mess. There was always someone out there who wanted to put me down in some way. And as a young person, that really stuck with me for many, many years \u2014 even when I got into my late twenties and thirties.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe sad, undeniable truth was that I hated myself,\u201d she writes in Real Girl. \u201cIn fact, there wasn\u2019t a single part of me I celebrated or enjoyed.\u201d<\/p>\n \u2018I need to constantly upgrade my looks\u2019<\/p>\n All of which goes some way to explaining Buena\u2019s many surgeries. After her first, a breast enlargement, \u201cI was always keen to make improvements.\u201d She next went to Turkey \u201cto get my butt done \u2014 the full Kim Kardashian\u201d. Now, \u201cFrom my breasts downwards, there\u2019s not much of me that\u2019s gone untouched.\u201d<\/p>\n She is unashamed and unapologetic. \u201cPeople get their teeth done because they don\u2019t like their smile. I think, whatever makes you happy. People \u2014 mostly men \u2014 on social media are really mean. Now I just block and delete. If I want to get my lips or cheeks or face or body done, I will do it. I don\u2019t tell you what to spend your money on. I do it because I want to feel better within myself.\u201d<\/p>\n And does it make her feel better, the constant \u201cimprovement\u201d? \u201cIt absolutely makes me feel better,\u201d she says. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong with correcting yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n Though she has, she says, \u201cslowed down on it\u201d. In May 2023, after a breast reduction procedure, her blood pressure soared, she had panic attacks and was, she admits, \u201cvery scared\u201d. \u201cIt put me off to a degree, but not completely. The fear of what might happen hasn\u2019t quite been enough to deter my need to constantly upgrade my looks.\u201d<\/p>\n She insists she wants just one last \u201ccorrection\u201d. \u201cThey\u2019ve put my nipples too high. Where they should be down there, they\u2019re up here,\u201d she says, demonstrating.<\/p>\n \u201cThe sad truth is that I hated myself. Back then, you just didn\u2019t talk about abuse\u201d<\/p>\n ROBERT WILSON FOR THE TIMES MAGAZINE. DRESS, CLUBLLONDON.COM. SHOES, GIANVITOROSSI.COM<\/p>\n Moderation never seems to have much been Buena\u2019s thing. In the early Sugababes heyday, when she\u2019d party until the clubs closed, \u201cLive TV could be rough in the morning\u201d, she says. Due at the studios of SMTV Live or GMTV at 4am, on an hour or two of sleep (and sometimes none at all), \u201cI\u2019d carry a little bottle of brandy in my bag, or tequila. When no one was looking, I\u2019d take a swig and it would perk me right up and help me get through the morning. You\u2019d be surprised how often I was a little buzzed on daytime telly.\u201d<\/p>\n But her partying, she admits, got \u201ca bit out of control\u201d. She would sometimes go missing for days, and, along with drinking, her appetite for drugs grew too. For a time, she\u2019d only get out of bed once it was dark, so she could begin drinking and taking drugs again. And amusing as it is that she self-imposed a ten-year ban on visiting Ibiza<\/a>, \u201cI felt like there was a real possibility that it was the place I was going to die.\u201d<\/p>\n She does not deny that her excesses surely exacerbated the anxiety and depression she also struggled with, and she admits to self-harm and even suicide attempts. What started as a one-off incident became habitual \u2014 whenever she was angry or frustrated, she would cut herself as a release. \u201cI know it sounds weird, but I felt like I could breathe.\u201d<\/p>\n Eventually, after an intervention by her family and bandmates, Buena turned 27 in a therapeutic hospital where she was supposed to \u201cdry out\u201d. With characteristic chutzpah, after gaining the trust of staff, she absconded. \u201cYou have to want to get better or it\u2019s not going to work. I wasn\u2019t in that place yet,\u201d she says, with a shrug.<\/p>\n The catalyst for that, eventually, was her daughter, Tahlia, whom she had aged 20. \u201cHaving her was the best thing for me. I\u2019ve had to pull myself together \u2014 I don\u2019t want my daughter to see me as a drunk, taking drugs\u2026 I want to be someone that she can turn to at all times, and be proud of.\u201d<\/p>\n With her daughter in 2008<\/p>\n ALAMY<\/p>\n Two weeks after giving birth, however, Buena was back in the studio. \u201cI\u2019d have just liked a month off,\u201d she says. \u201cAll I wanted was a bit of time.\u201d A combination of a punishing pop schedule and undiagnosed postnatal depression became untenable, and in December 2005, Buena quit the band. \u201cI chose my daughter over my career,\u201d she says, simply. \u201cBut that\u2019s where my head was at and I don\u2019t regret it.\u201d<\/p>\n Buena, her boyfriend at the time, Jay, and their daughter moved to Hertfordshire, with 18 dogs, six chickens, two snakes, \u201csome\u201d cats, two bearded dragons, an African grey parrot called Tommy and a Shetland pony \u201cthat used to come and sit down in the conservatory. I\u2019d feed him carrots while we\u2019d drink our coffees.\u201d<\/p>\n But the transition to a \u201cnormal\u201d life held challenges. \u201cThe music industry should have more care for their artists \u2014 and aftercare,\u201d she says. \u201cHow do you get a normal job? How do you do things like direct debits and tax? In a band, you always have an accountant. You have people looking after your stuff for you. And when it comes to looking after yourself, can you actually do it?\u201d Buena speaks from experience \u2014 in 2014, after an unexpected \u00a3100,000 tax bill, she was forced to declare herself bankrupt and move back in with her parents. \u201cMy credit rating was so f***ed I couldn\u2019t even rent a place.\u201d<\/p>\n Sections of the book were emotionally challenging to write, she says, including an attempted rape \u2014 by an older man when she was barely 16 and from which she only managed to escape via an open window in his flat \u2014 and two abusive relationships, none of which she ever reported. \u201cIf something happened to me now, I would talk about it straight away, and I would do something about it. But back then, you just didn\u2019t talk about it,\u201d she says. \u201cMentally, I was in a low place. You lose yourself. They weren\u2019t nice people and I blamed myself. I don\u2019t any more.\u201d<\/p>\n She is single right now. \u201cIt\u2019s quite hard, dating, these days, isn\u2019t it?\u201d she posits. Even being a Sugababe isn\u2019t helpful, it seems. \u201cI did put myself on a few apps, but I got taken off real quick. I think they thought I was \u2014 it was \u2014 a fake account.\u201d<\/p>\n You want to try Raya<\/a>, that dating app for famous people, I suggest. \u201cOh, I\u2019ve got that already,\u201d she says, with a cackle. She\u2019s paused her membership for now though. \u201cI was on it for a while, and I still didn\u2019t find a man with a yacht and a private plane. And I was paying \u00a333 a month. It was expensive, not finding the one.\u201d This is a woman who once racked up a \u00a315,000 taxi bill, sending cars to pick up her friends and bring them to parties.<\/p>\n In 2012, Mutya Buena, Keisha Buchanan and Siobh\u00e1n Donaghy reformed, to the excitement of fans and the music press alike, but for legal reasons could not use the name Sugababes. \u201cEveryone was like, \u2018Who are MKS?\u2019 You realise that having a name is a very big deal. No one wants to hear, \u2018Mutya Keisha Siobh\u00e1n\u2019 \u2014 they want to hear Sugababes.\u201d And the name, she says, \u201cwas sitting on a shelf, doing nothing\u201d. After years of legal wrangles so extensive and boring Buena refuses to even discuss them, the band won back the rights to Sugababes in 2019. \u201cIt feels amazing.\u201d<\/p>\n Buena still enjoys a party, but you\u2019re far more likely these days to find her at home, in her small Buckinghamshire village, where she lives alone (bar the two dogs and four cats). \u201cMy going out all the time was because I didn\u2019t want to be at home by myself \u2014 I didn\u2019t want to be alone,\u201d she says. \u201cI was always surrounded by people, whether I liked them or not. I\u2019ve learnt to love my own company. I\u2019ve learnt to love myself.\u201d <\/p>\n Mutya Buena describes how, aged 17, her partying descended into depression and self-harm<\/p>\n Slowly, the small amount of control I felt I had over my partying started to slip away. One night, I had a traumatic experience that changed me for ever. At the time I was renting an apartment in west London with some friends, and being so close to central London meant the clubs were even more accessible to me than they had been.<\/p>\n During that time, there had been nights when I\u2019d blacked out, those evenings totally lost to me. I couldn\u2019t remember what I\u2019d done because of the alcohol and drugs I\u2019d consumed. It was alarming, but didn\u2019t really put me off. That was until one morning when I woke up to severe pains in my arm.<\/p>\n For a few minutes, trying to drag myself back into consciousness, I couldn\u2019t figure out what was going on, just that it hurt badly. I sat up and looked around the room, realising I\u2019d spent the night on the living-room sofa while everyone else had gone to bed. My eyes flicked from a bloody knife on the floor to deep cuts on my arm, which were still bleeding. What the f*** had happened? Had someone done this to me? Had I done it to myself? Surely not.<\/p>\n I was scared at the thought but had a nasty feeling that this was what had happened. I couldn\u2019t think of any other explanation. I went upstairs and woke my friends. I had a lot of questions.<\/p>\n I was left with the confusing realisation that I had self-harmed. And I couldn\u2019t even remember it. I wondered what must have been going on below the surface to take me to that place. I was having a good time, living my life as I wanted. I had a successful career in music and had what I felt was a fantastic, fun social life. So why?<\/p>\n \u201cThe sad truth is that I hated myself. Back then, you just didn\u2019t talk about abuse\u201d<\/p>\n ROBERT WILSON FOR THE TMIES MAGAZINE<\/p>\n After that night it happened again, only this time, I knew what I was doing. I wish I could tell you how it went from being something alien to me to a conscious and deliberate action, but I just don\u2019t know. I guess being tough on the outside meant that I was pushing all the hurt inside.<\/p>\n When you hear and read negative things about yourself all the time, it\u2019s impossible not to start believing some of them deep down. After years of swallowing my pride and trying to ignore the criticism that came almost daily from the press and the public, my dislike of myself really grew. The only way I felt I could control it was to blast it with alcohol and other stuff.<\/p>\n When that stopped doing the trick, self-harm came to me as another option. From then on, whenever I felt pushed to my limits or like I couldn\u2019t breathe, I\u2019d turn to this. Soon, it became a regular thing. If I was angry, frustrated or upset, hurting myself became my way of releasing all that. In a confrontational situation or argument, I would tell people, \u201cDon\u2019t push me. Please don\u2019t push me,\u201d because I knew where it would lead.<\/p>\n There were times when I sat in the dark for days at a time, not wanting to eat or speak to anyone, locking myself away from the world. Some days, my sleep patterns were so off I\u2019d sleep all day, then wake up thinking it was morning and wondering why it was dark.<\/p>\n There was less understanding of self-harm back then. If people heard you were doing something as drastic as that, they thought you were nuts.<\/p>\n Things got darker still on the photoshoot for the Angels with Dirty Faces album, our second, in Spain. I\u2019d been taking antidepressants at the time, but for some reason I didn\u2019t take them with me on the trip and I was suffering without them.<\/p>\n![\"Sugababes\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/\/5d2bdcce-6d26-4775-b75d-bdb05810bc58.jpg\")
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Book extract: \u2018I woke up to see a bloody knife on the floor\u2019<\/p>\n![\"Mutya](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/\/35b08c63-043a-45b7-95ab-730eacc0e0cc.jpg\")
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![\"RND25](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/\/a453b487-2da9-4f13-8384-c0f9146dc6e6.jpg\")
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