{"id":242874,"date":"2025-11-04T07:27:09","date_gmt":"2025-11-04T07:27:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/242874\/"},"modified":"2025-11-04T07:27:09","modified_gmt":"2025-11-04T07:27:09","slug":"the-joe-marler-i-know-and-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/242874\/","title":{"rendered":"The Joe Marler I know and love"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">Along with Cat Burns, Joe Marler has emerged as the breakout star of The Celebrity Traitors. Whether or not he triumphs in the series finale on Thursday, Big Joe, previously only familiar to those of us who follow rugby union, has become a household name. If he plays it right, he\u2019ll soon graduate to full-blown national treasure. Having interviewed Marler twice, however, I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if he sabotages his big chance. I can\u2019t quite see him being willing or able to play the cuddly celeb role for long. <\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">Don\u2019t get me wrong. I love the guy. But he is, to put it mildly, a complex character. A prop forward, 6ft tall, 19st, hugely bearded, covered in tats, Marler might present as the archetypal intimidating rugger jock. He is anything but. For one thing, as we have seen, he has enviable clarity of mind. He\u2019s a smart fella, sifting the evidence of his own apparently guileless baby-blue eyes and mangled cauliflower ears far more adroitly than those reputedly great intellects and fellow Traitors contestants Stephen Fry and David Olusoga. He\u2019s warm, open, tactile, funny, charming. But he\u2019s mercurial too, occasionally tetchy or morose, outspoken yet also shy, and cripplingly lacking in confidence.<\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">When he was first called up for England in 2010, he told me, he was so \u201cnervous and scared, I hardly spoke\u201d. By the end of his international career last year, he had become a big dressing room influence. It has been a similar story in the Highlands, with Marler, 35, journeying from deferential to dominant. Overlooked at first, and no doubt underestimated, Marler locked on first to Jonathan Ross\u2019s treachery and then, having correctly identified the other two baddies, is now organising their downfall.<\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">\u2022 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thetimes.com\/comment\/columnists\/article\/faithful-celebrity-traitors-jonathan-ross-68lpjl6cc\" class=\"link__RespLink-sc-1ocvixa-0 csWvlP\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Am I a Faithful or a Traitor? I fancy myself as Jonathan Ross<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">It has been an impressive display of the desire, focus and teamwork required by and honed in elite sport. Pro sport also prizes ruthless candour about one\u2019s own and one\u2019s team-mates performances, a trait that Marler has occasionally demonstrated in recent weeks. His younger critics on social media don\u2019t respond well to that.<\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">Marler and I first met three years ago, at Twickenham Stoop, the home ground of his club side, Harlequins and next door to the national stadium where he won many of his 95 caps for England. One of the beneficiaries of The Times Christmas appeal that year was Calm, or the Campaign Against Living Miserably, the suicide prevention charity. Having spoken publicly of his mental health issues, with stints on antidepressants and in therapy, Marler had become a Calm ambassador. He told me that he\u2019d had \u201cdark thoughts, yeah, suicide; \u2018would they be better off if I weren\u2019t here any more?\u2019\u201d The \u201cthey\u201d being his wife, Daisy, and four children, Jasper, Maggie, Felix and Pixie.<\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">We sat in the stands, eating chocolates, while Marler recounted his problems with \u201ca lack of self-worth\u201d, the belief that he was \u201ca bad person\u201d, the feeling of \u201cI don\u2019t want to be here any more, like \u2018what if I drove off that bridge? What would it be like not to be here?\u2019\u201d He recalled \u201ccrying in my coach\u2019s arms\u201d; how, earlier in his career, he had sometimes been unforgivably rude to fans seeking selfies; how he had stormed away from games, driven home from southwest London to his native Sussex (he grew up in Eastbourne) in full kit covered in mud, and terrified Daisy by smashing up the kitchen.<\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">He had been no angel on the pitch either, incurring bans and fines for behaviour below and beyond the usual front-row sledging. He called the Wales prop Samson Lee, who has a Traveller background, \u201cGypsy Boy\u201d. He slapped an opposing coach at Worcester. He grabbed the Wales captain Alun Wyn Jones\u2019s unmentionables, in full view of the cameras. Shortly after we met in 2022, he told a Bristol opponent that his mum was a \u201cf***ing whore\u201d. (Daisy ripped into her errant husband after that episode, telling him his behaviour was unacceptable.) He also wound up the All Blacks by tweeting that their haka is \u201cridiculous and needs binning\u201d.<\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">He\u2019s the sort of guy who draws attention to himself, for sure. But he\u2019s also that kid at school who gets caught doing things that sneakier types get away with.<\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">\u2022 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thetimes.com\/life-style\/celebrity\/article\/cat-burns-the-celebrity-traitors-interview-9mqxrkgm2\" class=\"link__RespLink-sc-1ocvixa-0 csWvlP\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Cat Burns: \u2018Traitors is the most fun game\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">Marler\u2019s anger and unhappiness stemmed, predictably, from his childhood. He told me some details but didn\u2019t want them published. Suffice to say, as of three years ago, he \u201chadn\u2019t spoken to my mum for seven years and my dad for four\u201d. I don\u2019t know if that has changed. He did reveal that once, when discussing child-disciplining techniques with Daisy, he had said, if they\u2019re out of line \u201cI\u2019ll give them a whack, I turned out alright\u201d. And Daisy had said \u201cReally? Did you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">When we met a second time, in Leicester in January this year, we didn\u2019t really discuss mental health, apart from a quick mutual \u201call going OK, mate?\u201d exchange. Marler had not long retired. Maybe because his great mate, his fellow veteran prop Dan Cole was present, Marler seemed in a better place, bantering away about how badly he had played in his final game for Harlequins, how even after just a few weeks away from the gym his body was \u201cmelting before my eyes\u201d, and admitting he could no longer connect with his younger club team-mates \u201cwhich was my fault for being horrible to them\u201d.<\/p>\n<p id=\"last-paragraph\" class=\"responsive__Paragraph-sc-1pktst5-0 gaEeqC\">In retirement, Marler said, with Cole nodding sympathetically, \u201cI\u2019m alright if I stay busy. Time off is ruinous. All I\u2019m left with is my thoughts.\u201d Self-critical as ever, he no longer seemed quite so destructively self-lacerating as he had been as a younger man. Unlike many ex-sportsmen and women, hanging up his boots was going well, thus far, although he admitted his mental fragility endured. I hope his success in the Traitors\u2019 castle helps to further bolster his self-esteem. It should do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Along with Cat Burns, Joe Marler has emerged as the breakout star of The Celebrity Traitors. Whether or&hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":242875,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[5903,101,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-242874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-rugby","tag-rugby","tag-sports","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/242874","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=242874"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/242874\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/242875"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=242874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=242874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=242874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}