{"id":254031,"date":"2025-11-10T01:03:16","date_gmt":"2025-11-10T01:03:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/254031\/"},"modified":"2025-11-10T01:03:16","modified_gmt":"2025-11-10T01:03:16","slug":"i-got-my-sons-disability-diagnosis-13-years-ago-that-day-rushed-back-with-tylenol-autism-headlines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/254031\/","title":{"rendered":"I got my son\u2019s disability diagnosis 13 years ago. That day rushed back with Tylenol-autism headlines"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hearing President Donald Trump link Tylenol use during pregnancy to the development of autism in children, without evidence<\/a>, takes me back many years to when my son was born.<\/p>\n

My son has multiple disabilities because I caught a virus when I was pregnant. I\u2019ve struggled with guilt for something I could not control since the day I received his disability diagnosis 13 years ago. I spent years trying to rewind time in my mind to figure out when I got sick, but I didn\u2019t get much relief from that exercise.<\/p>\n

Mothers feel responsible for so many things that happen to their children, even things they can\u2019t control, and parents of children with disabilities can feel that sense of responsibility even more. I still struggle with intense feelings at times, so I reached out to experts to better understand how to process these emotions.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s how they recommend handling those intense feelings.<\/p>\n

What happens when you get a diagnosis<\/p>\n

Medical providers tell pregnant mothers to follow certain guidelines to keep their babies safe. When their child is born sick or receives a medical diagnosis, moms may look back on the time when they were pregnant to understand why.<\/p>\n

That self-reflection can happen because of an internal quest for understanding, because something happened, like the virus I caught, or because someone blames acetaminophen, sold under the brand name Tylenol, for autism.<\/p>\n

\u201cParents of kids with disabilities are looking for answers,\u201d said Kara Kushnir, founder and clinical director at A Work of Heart Counseling in Bergen County, New Jersey. She also has a sibling who has profound disabilities.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey want to understand their kid, and they want to understand how to help them,\u201d Kushnir told me. \u201cIf they\u2019re thinking about (having more) children, they want to prevent further hardship for their family. And there\u2019s a real validity to that experience. Life is harder for parents of kids with disabilities.\u201d<\/p>\n

Asked for comment, Kenvue Brands, the maker of Tylenol, referred to the company\u2019s public statement<\/a>, which read in part: \u201cWe believe independent, sound science clearly shows that taking acetaminophen does not cause autism. We strongly disagree with allegations that it does and are deeply concerned about the health risks and confusion this poses for expecting mothers and parents.\u201d<\/p>\n

Looking for a reason\"Mothers<\/p>\n

Mothers feel responsible for so many things that happen to their children, and parents of kids with disabilities can feel that sense of responsibility even more. – Oscar Wong\/Moment RF\/Getty Images<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t the first time mothers have been blamed for autism, explained Kushnir. In the 1950s, the refrigerator theory implied that mothers of kids with autism were emotionally cold and distant. It\u2019s an assumption that most professionals eventually discredited<\/a>. Regardless of the reason, mothers of kids with disabilities can feel like they live in a world that other people can\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it feels like it has anything to do with us, it can further compound the shame or the disconnection we might experience from the world, society and our communities, because our children have more significant needs than other kids,\u201d Kushnir said.<\/p>\n

I know that feeling of disconnect from my own experience. No matter how many times I replayed my pregnancy in my head, I couldn\u2019t turn back time and avoid the virus that caused my son\u2019s disabilities. But parents of kids with disabilities have to eventually accept that we cannot change the past<\/p>\n

When those feelings resurface, I try to follow Kushnir\u2019s advice to take a minute to pause and process my feelings since an emotional response could cloud my judgment. What I learned I could do is focus on the present and then do my best to make plans. For example, I learn about programs that will support my whole family and think about where my son will thrive as an adult. As hard as it can be to corral my thoughts, refocusing my energy helps everyone in my family.<\/p>\n

Refocusing my energy on reality<\/p>\n

We only have so much energy to take care of our families, work and be socially engaged ourselves, explained Dr. Sharon Artz<\/a>, a clinical psychologist in Metuchen, New Jersey, who works with parents of kids with disabilities.<\/p>\n

Deciding how we use our energy is key. \u201cDo we want to spend all of our time just regretting and feeling bad, or do we consciously choose to invest ourselves in the present, connect and enjoy our children, help to plan for the future, and really engage?\u201d Artz said. \u201cIt\u2019s a decision about what is the best use of my energy. I can\u2019t do everything, so what should I use it for?\u201d<\/p>\n

Artz works with her clients to sort out which thoughts are helpful and which aren\u2019t. \u201cWhen something\u2019s good for them, it tends to be good for their families too,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

At the end of the day, I have found that being a mom who feels good can be there for everyone in the family. \u201cWhen the mom\u2019s needs are met, it\u2019s much easier to do everything else.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finding connections in the community<\/p>\n

From the day my son was born, my experience was different from my two other children. Starting with understanding his diagnosis to working with doctors and physical and occupational therapists to learning how to support him, I was busy figuring out how to care for my son and readjusting my own expectations of what motherhood would look like. This different process made it hard to connect with friends and family and keep them updated.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you have a child that is different from the norm and has more needs, you already feel like you\u2019re doing it wrong because you\u2019re doing it differently,\u201d Kushnir said. \u201cPeople don\u2019t know what to make of you or how to interact with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

That divide can be extremely isolating. For example, some days, I spend the morning talking to mothers at my son\u2019s school about doctor appointments and therapies, and then spend the afternoon talking to mothers at my daughter\u2019s school about town sports and Girl Scouts.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the challenges I find is that women struggle to find out how to stay related to their communities, to stay engaged and to have friends when they have one foot in each world,\u201d Artz said.<\/p>\n

Creating connections with other parents in the disability community can help bridge that divide. \u201cEven if they\u2019re talking about different disabilities between the children, they still understand the experience of being a parent in a much more challenging circumstance,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n

Focusing on the support<\/p>\n

Understanding the reasons why and how disability happens is important \u2014 that can lead to future children not having those disabilities (as is the case with the virus that caused my son\u2019s disabilities). With a diagnosis such as autism, people want to know if it\u2019s more prevalent now or if we just have better diagnostic tools these days, explained Kushnir.<\/p>\n

But continuing the conversation about supporting families who have a child with a disability is just as important, she noted.<\/p>\n

In 2024, the US Surgeon General issued an advisory<\/a> to mothers and caregivers that they should focus on mental health because they\u2019re under increased stress \u2014 but how to do that without institutional support?<\/p>\n

\u201cThe talk is all about cause and cure and fix and treat, and there aren\u2019t a lot of conversations around support, resources, programs and financial backing,\u201d Kushnir said. \u201cThose are things that can really make a difference in the lives of \u2026 all parents of kids with disabilities.\u201d<\/p>\n

Thirteen years after my son was born, I still struggle with feelings of disconnect from the rest of the world. But most of my energy is spent getting our family through the day and fighting for all of my kids to have equal access to life\u2019s experiences. My other two children recognized inaccessibility and lack of inclusion from an early age, and we work as a family to make sure we get out in the world and have fun together.<\/p>\n

Coping with feelings of guilt<\/p>\n

Before emotionally reacting to something that feels like an accusation or blame, take a minute to breathe.<\/p>\n

Decide how you want to use your energy. You can\u2019t change the past, and you can only control the decisions you make today and in the future.<\/p>\n

Meet other parents and guardians, through your child\u2019s school or therapy sessions or online in communities for parents of kids with disabilities, who can relate and be supportive.<\/p>\n

Find and use resources<\/a> that support families of kids with disabilities, such as local nonprofit organizations.<\/p>\n

Jaclyn Greenberg has written for The New York Times, Wired, Good Housekeeping, and Parents, and she is working on a book for parents of kids with disabilities.<\/p>\n

Get inspired by a weekly roundup on living well, made simple. Sign up for CNN\u2019s Life, But Better newsletter<\/a> for information and tools designed to improve your well-being.<\/p>\n

For more CNN news and newsletters create an account at CNN.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Hearing President Donald Trump link Tylenol use during pregnancy to the development of autism in children, without evidence,…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":254032,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[8988,24311,102,105657,105658,89122,6591,9052,4055,105656,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-254031","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-medication","tag-autism","tag-disabilities","tag-health","tag-kara-kushnir","tag-kushnir","tag-medical-diagnosis","tag-medication","tag-parents","tag-president-donald-trump","tag-tylenol-during-pregnancy","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254031","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=254031"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254031\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/254032"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=254031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=254031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=254031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}