\n \u2018I\u2019m a Norfolk boy at heart,\u2019 he says. \u2018Though I lived in Leicester for 19 years, it was never really home. I was there for the job and to pursue the ultimate dream, but I knew that when I was finished we\u2019d move back to Norfolk. Family\u2019s here.\u2019\n<\/p>\n
\n So he\u2019s been enjoying mud-sliding and paddleboarding with his children in Blakeney, sharing family suppers in the farmhouse at Aylsham and preparing for his new role as coach to his former school in Holt. It\u2019s clear he\u2019s relishing being back on the north Norfolk coast.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2018I didn\u2019t want to finish a game on the Saturday and start a new job on the Monday,\u2019 he says. \u2018I felt I had the right to have a break.\u2019 But with the summer over, his early commitments will include his podcast For the Love of Rugby with Dan Cole, and promoting his memoir Beyond the Line: My Life in Rugby, which has just been published.\n<\/p>\n
\n Ben Youngs in action when he was a pupil at Gresham’s School in Holt. Photo: (Image: Gresham’s School)\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2018Working on the book has been really rewarding,\u2019 he says. \u2018For a lot of players, anyone who\u2019s done what I\u2019ve done, you don\u2019t get the chance to reflect on what\u2019s happened and how you\u2019ve felt about it. The games come thick and fast and you never really have time to process it.\u2019\n<\/p>\n
\n Working with writer Neil Squires, Ben\u2019s addressed both the highs and lows of the professional game – the wins, the team building, the support of the fans, but also the tragedies he\u2019s experienced off the pitch, losing two family members to terminal illnesses within a year.\n<\/p>\n
\n The game itself hasn\u2019t always been the thrill ride it seemed from the outside. There was his withdrawal from the Lions tour in 2017, the disagreements with the coaches, coping with the disappointment of not being picked and the times when he lost his passion for rugby.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2018People think it\u2019s all brilliant,\u2019 he says. \u2018I did love parts of my rugby career but did I hate other parts of it? Absolutely.\u2019 He hopes the book gives an insight into professional sport, but also his particular struggles. His brother-in-law, Jake, died from motor neurone disease in 2022, and his sister-in-law Tiffany died from cancer in 2023.\n<\/p>\n
\n Ben Youngs on a visit to Holt Rugby Club. Photo: Sonya Duncan (Image: Sonya Duncan)\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2018I\u2019ve tried to be as honest as I can be and shed light on some of the personal stuff away from the game. I needed to share those parts of it because cancer in particular is something that\u2019s affected so many people. This was public and people knew how it ended. Life goes on and I was achieving all these things with everyone thinking you\u2019re having the best time in the world, but it just wasn\u2019t the case. It was difficult at times, trying to separate trauma with a sport that you love and how they almost became merged as one. All those battles. I found it so incredibly hard to separate the two. I think I\u2019ve benefited from reflecting on everything.\u2019\n<\/p>\n
\n And he\u2019s sure that the time was right to step away from the game. \u2018You get to this stage in your career where you can\u2019t do what you were once able to do – the game takes a bit more out of you and you need more recovery. I probably could have done another year but I didn\u2019t want to, so in terms of retirement right now, I feel very content. I stand by my decision. I haven\u2019t really got any complaints.\u2019\n<\/p>\n
\n Rugby is all he\u2019s ever really known though, dominating his life from the age of 16 with everything dictated to him \u2013 routine, schedule, fitness, what to eat when, even what clothes to wear. \u2018People say it\u2019s like being in the military,\u2019 he says. Now he\u2019s in control of his own destiny and he\u2019s learning to plan his time. \u2018I don\u2019t need to run today. I don\u2019t need to lift weights. The adaptation is going to take longer, to break away from what\u2019s been such a rigid routine.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2018The biggest worry for any player when they finish, though, is missing the camaraderie of the changing room, being part of a team, all looking out for each other. But I think moving back here, being surrounded by family members, I\u2019ll be fine.\u2019\n<\/p>\n
\n Ben Youngs in action for England (Image: PA Wire\/PA Images)\n<\/p>\n
\n Family has defined Ben\u2019s progress through the sport so it\u2019s no wonder that he\u2019s wanted to keep his parents, brother and cousins close as he looks to this next stage in his life.\n<\/p>\n
\n Both Ben\u2019s dad, Nick, and brother, Tom, played for Leicester and England and, growing up on the family farm, rugby was always encouraged. A field was turned into a pitch and rusty irrigation pipes made into posts, with a particularly high crossbar. \u2018I found a love for rugby really quickly,\u2019 Ben says. \u2018I was obsessed about the game as a kid. I always had a ball in my hands and was running around outside.\u2019 His dad never put Ben or his older brother, Tom, under any pressure to pursue the game seriously, though. \u2018All he did was encourage me and be positive about any involvement I had. He was very relaxed about it.\u2019\n<\/p>\n
\n At Gresham\u2019s School in Holt, both boys thrived at sport and their talent led them first to move to the North Walsham team and then to be spotted by the Leicester scouts. \u2018It\u2019s crazy that we\u2019ve all done it,\u2019 Ben says of the family route into the game. \u2018Yes, we had talent but I maintain that hard work has much to do with getting to the top level.\u2019\n<\/p>\n
\n Opportunities for young players are different today from when Ben started, he says. They no longer have to relocate when selected by a team, for example. He had to move to Leicester at just 16, leaving his sheltered rural life in Norfolk where he\u2019d never caught a bus or paid a cheque into the bank. \u2018It was a different way of life from Norfolk and I quickly had to get used to things. It was exciting but very different.\u2019\n<\/p>\n
\n Leicester Tigers’ Tom Youngs (left) and Ben Youngs lift the trophy after the Gallagher Premiership Final at Twickenham Stadium, London. (Image: PA Wire\/PA Images)\n<\/p>\n
\n The game needs to keep adapting to ensure its growth and sustainability, he says. In the book he shares his five point plan for the future. In this and in his involvement with the pupils and staff at Gresham\u2019s, he\u2019s undoubtedly got a lot still to give.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2018I think energy, effort and enthusiasm are things that you can control as an individual and I think I was able to bring that consistently. But all I ever wanted was to make sure that I held my own, I played my part, and I had the respect of my peers.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2018I’m looking forward to sharing my experiences and helping them grow,\u2019 he says of being the school\u2019s new Head of Performance Sport. \u2018Maybe they’ll go on to great things in sport and maybe they won’t, but if I can teach them discipline, routine and certain skills, hopefully they can take that into whatever they decide to do.\u2019\n<\/p>\n
\n And what of his own son, who\u2019s already showing a love and aptitude for the game?\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2018I take great satisfaction in the fact that he’s out there doing it because he wants to do it, not because he feels he should or because I want him to do it. Maybe rugby will be a part of his life but either way, there’s no pressure on him to do anything.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2018I love the game. I\u2019m really passionate about it and it\u2019s given me so much,\u2019 Ben says, but he knows there\u2019s more to life than rugby. \u2018I don’t want to walk into a room for people to say \u201cthat’s Ben, he used to be a rugby player\u201d. It was a massive chapter of my life but it’s not going to be the part that defines me. Now I\u2019m a husband, I’m a father and I’m proud of coming from Norfolk. This is what I’m about, and this is what I’m doing now. This is who I am.\u2019\n<\/p>\n
\n Beyond the Line: My Life in Rugby by Ben Youngs is published by Macmillan, priced \u00a325.\n<\/p>\n
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