![\"Amy](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_278784062-4727-e1767168301269.jpg\")
\n\t\tLittle did I know though that my life would go on to be so full and hopeful, even with a debilitating disease (Picture: Amy Pohl)<\/p>\n
\t\t
\n\t\tLittle did I know though that my life would go on to be so full and hopeful, even with a debilitating disease (Picture: Amy Pohl)<\/p>\n
\u2018I can\u2019t live like this, just take it off.\u2019<\/p>\n
Those are the words I screamed through tears, my voice raw, at doctors while in hospital in February 2018.<\/p>\n
My left arm no longer felt like part of me; it was a burning, twisted thing attached to my body. I would\u2019ve done anything for the pain to stop.<\/p>\n
This \u2018pain\u2019 was due to a neurological condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS). <\/p>\n
However, it\u2019s also known by another name \u2013 the \u2018suicide disease\u2019.<\/p>\n
It is no wonder that I thought my life was over when I received my diagnosis at the start of 2018.<\/p>\n
However, I didn\u2019t know at the time, but my life would go on to be so full and hopeful, even with a debilitating disease.<\/p>\n
\t\t![\"Amy](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_278784131-ef50-e1767168386783.jpg\")
\n\t\tI started feeling run-down and was diagnosed with a respiratory infection (Picture: Amy Pohl)<\/p>\n
Life before my diagnosis could not have been more ordinary. I lived with my parents, loved my role as a teacher, and spent many hours walking my dog, Bessler.<\/p>\n
The only problem I had to contend with was seeing my mum face stage 4 non-Hodgkin\u2019s lymphoma. Despite her illness we were determined to carry on as normally as possible.<\/p>\n
However everything began to change in autumn\u00a02017, when I started feeling run-down and was diagnosed with a respiratory infection.<\/p>\n
I was prescribed a medication for my throat but I had a severe\u00a0anaphylactic reaction and ended up being admitted to\u00a0intensive care \u2013 where an issue with a cannula led to a further infection.\u00a0<\/p>\n
This was treated with different antibiotics, and surgeries to try and clean\u00a0my hand from\u00a0the inside \u2013 but it never truly recovered.\u00a0My hand\u00a0would swell, change colour and was incredibly painful. I didn\u2019t understand what was going on, and at first, neither did the doctors.<\/p>\n
\t\t![\"Amy](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_278784128-14a1.jpg\")
\n\t\tI\u2019d spend hours in hospital beds and psychiatric units trying to come to terms with what had happened to me (Picture: Amy Pohl)<\/p>\n
I was just 24, but I felt like my life was over.<\/p>\n
The constant pain\u00a0became\u00a0uncontrollable. It felt like millions of angry ants were crawling up and down my arm.\u00a0<\/p>\n
A slight breeze was enough to make me scream in agony. The pain soon became the only thing I could think about and my teaching career stalled as a result.<\/p>\n
With so little understanding\u00a0of what was causing my pain. I was being passed between different doctors, wards and teams, without any end in sight.<\/p>\n
Eventually, in January 2018, I received the diagnosis of CRPS. Doctors<\/a> told me that I would likely have years of pain, rehab ahead of me but it was discovering that this condition is dubbed the \u2018suicide disease\u2019 that sent me into a spiral.<\/p>\n I\u2019d spend hours in hospital beds and psychiatric units trying to come to terms with what had happened to me.<\/p>\n \t\t I was distraught and I couldn\u2019t imagine a future for myself.<\/p>\n The doctors had warned me that amputating could make things worse as the pain might spread. <\/p>\n But on that February night in hospital in 2018, the pain in my arm was so severe, so relentless, I genuinely thought about doing it myself \u2013 finding something sharp and ending the nightmare by my own hand.<\/p>\n In that moment I would\u2019ve traded anything, even part of myself, for a release from the pain.<\/p>\n Things got even worse when, in September 2018, I woke up from another operation on my hand, unable to move the lower part of my body.<\/p>\n Doctors were unable to tell if the botched cannula insertion triggered this, but either way, the outcome was the same: I now had to contend with being paralysed.<\/p>\n My life, once defined by movement, independence and purpose, had changed forever.<\/p>\n \t\t By 2020, I\u2019d hit rock bottom. Hospital wards had become my home where I trialled multiple different treatments, had endless physio appointments and faced my uncertain future.<\/p>\n One day in\u00a0March 2024 while on a neuro-rehab unit I sent a silly lighthearted video to my parents of me lipsyncing in my bathroom to an audio of a lady giving a swimming lesson on TikTok<\/a>.<\/p>\n At the time, it was a decision that felt small and insignificant. At most I hoped it\u2019d give them, and me, a much-needed laugh.\u00a0<\/p>\n But that video changed the course of my life dramatically.<\/p>\n \t\t Having accidentally made the video public, it wasn\u2019t long before the views and comments from people all around the world started rolling in. And to my surprise, most people showed an interest in me and my condition. <\/p>\n I began responding \u2013 it left me feeling\u00a0more connected to the outside world than I had in a long time. The more I shared, the more empowered I felt as my community grew. I realised I wasn\u2019t alone, there were so many more people fighting a similar diagnosis and on similar journeys as me.\u00a0<\/p>\n While my social media<\/a> flourished, I was still learning how to survive the reality of my new life as a disabled<\/a> person. The pain was still constant \u2013 but creating content and sharing videos became an unexpected refuge. It was a way to reclaim some sense of control at a time when so much felt out of my hands.<\/p>\n I still can\u2019t believe I now have millions of followers on TikTok and Instagram<\/a>, but I\u2019m proud to use my platform to show people that, even when life takes a different path, there can still be joy and hope. It\u2019s something I desperately needed when I was coming to terms with my new reality.<\/p>\n \t\t That\u2019s why it was such an honour to win\u00a0Sense\u2019s \u2018Digital Voice of the Year\u2019 Award<\/a>\u00a0and I plan to keep challenging stereotypes and building a community through my posts.<\/p>\n I know that being diagnosed with a debilitating illness is scary and it\u2019s okay to feel lost or even angry \u2013 your whole world has changed, and it takes time to grieve the life you thought you\u2019d have.<\/p>\n But I promise you, this isn\u2019t the end of your story, it\u2019s just a different chapter.<\/p>\n I have found strength as a result of time, adaptation and coping strategies that allow me to coexist with pain rather than be defined by it. <\/p>\n And I\u2019ve had an incredible experience in my wheelchair \u2013 like going on rollercoasters, horseriding and water-skiing.<\/p>\n In fact, if I could go back in time, I wouldn\u2019t change a thing.\u00a0<\/p>\n I love my life exactly the way it is today and that\u2019s something I never thought I\u2019d say.<\/p>\n Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk<\/a>.<\/a>\u00a0<\/p>\n Share your views in the comments below.<\/p>\n Arrow Arrow Arrow![\"Amy](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_278784060-3317-e1766419687415.jpg\")
\n\t\tMy life, once defined by movement, independence and purpose, had changed forever (Picture: Amy Pohl)<\/p>\n![\"Amy](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_278784061-99b1.jpg\")
\n\t\tHospital wards had become my home where I trialled multiple different treatments (Picture: Amy Pohl)<\/p>\n![\"Amy](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_278784132-2d41-e1766419875715.jpg\")
\n\t\tMy channels grew from there and I began creating content online about my life and experiences (Picture: Amy Pohl)<\/p>\n![\"Amy](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/SEI_278784135-928d.jpg\")
\n\t\tI could go back in time, I wouldn\u2019t change a thing (Picture: Amy Pohl)<\/p>\n
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\nMORE: He told me I was a nine \u2013 until I turned him down<\/a><\/p>\n