{"id":354240,"date":"2026-01-06T00:28:12","date_gmt":"2026-01-06T00:28:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/354240\/"},"modified":"2026-01-06T00:28:12","modified_gmt":"2026-01-06T00:28:12","slug":"we-chose-a-dog-over-a-baby-heres-why","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/354240\/","title":{"rendered":"We chose a dog over a baby. Here\u2019s why"},"content":{"rendered":"

Time was when couples acquiring a dog was the thin end of the wedge pre-spawning: a test-drive to see whether the relationship could handle children. These days, Brits are getting dogs instead of having offspring. Research from The Times has revealed that a third of English postcodes have more hounds than nippers, with the number of \u201cdinkwads\u201d \u2014 dual income, no kids, with a dog \u2014 rocketing. The country can claim 13 million canines, up from 9 million pre-pandemic. The number of children is about 15 mill, but growth is stagnant.<\/p>\n

A mass anthropomorphism has ensued, in which dogs are given social media profiles, reprehensible \u201ccute\u201d costumes, and spa days. They are chosen for their baby faces and ability to be carted about in a papoose, \u201cdog mums\u201d and \u201cdog dads\u201d looking on with the frenzied adoration actual parents feel obliged to suppress. As one behaviourist puts it: \u201cThe dog forms the central source of love.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, obv. My own south London postcode is all girls, gays and hounds \u2014 a canine utopia in which we race about pandering to our charges\u2019 needs. Obviously, I am way too cool to refer to myself as a \u201cdog mum\u201d. Pimlico, my blue whippet, won\u2019t even wear a coat when it\u2019s Baltic and has only ever had one bath after a particularly egregious fox excrement incident. But my partner, Terence, and I are definitely dog parents. Witness his Christmas windows-cum-shrine: two golden whippet icons crying out for the billing \u201cThat childless couple that makes a graven image of their dog\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Revealed: the best and worst cities in Britain to be a dog<\/a><\/p>\n

Pim is our life: we are this bitch\u2019s bitch. We cart about more kit for her than our parent friends ever dreamt of: treats, velvet blankets, bowls from which she is prepared to drink, co-ordinating lead options depending on my outfit. In turn, she doesn\u2019t so much interfere with our sex life as destroy it, sleeping in the middle of us, or between our legs. We are constantly speculating on her emotions, interpreting her many noises, coming up with fey nicknames for her, and wrangling over whom she loves more. (Terence as hype master, me for comfort.)<\/p>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Betts\u2019s blue whippet, Pimlico<\/p>\n

GEMMA DAY FOR THE TIMES<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, her career is considerably better than mine. Having been on the cover of four national newspapers and starred in Bazaar\u2019s September fashion issue, she is frequently recognised. Out walking only recently, a car screeched to a halt and a dashing chap said: \u201cIs it\u2026\u201d I preened, before he added \u201c\u2026Pimlico Betts-Derbyshire?\u201d<\/p>\n

I actually adore babies \u2014 and children, for that matter \u2014 as people are forever bemusedly pointing out. But somehow this never equated with wanting one of my own. I boast a lot of young people in my life, consider them among my closest friends. However, Pim definitely takes the place a child would occupy. Those anxiety nightmares mothers are beset by? I have them about her. I fret about her demise daily and am always patting her ribs to check that they\u2019re moving. What is it that mothers say about children? That it\u2019s like having your heart wandering about in the world? That\u2019s precisely how I feel, only mine\u2019s chasing squirrels. (I entice them for her \u2014 sue me.)<\/p>\n

My big little love is the relationship of my not-so-young life. Clever, kind, beautiful, witty, she dominates every waking hour. If she were a nipper, I\u2019d have to be sensible: equip her for independence, prove she\u2019s not the centre of everybody\u2019s existence. As she\u2019s a dog, I can kiss her, cosset her, and let her lick the snot from my cold nose.<\/p>\n

Recently, I acquired my first old-person injury. Pim put my fiftysomething hip out basking on top of me. How has a mere whippet achieved this? Because \u2014 and here we enter Times exclusive territory \u2014 Pim may be duff-upward, having enjoyed the hottest of hot dates in November. We\u2019re off for a scan today. Dog grandmother? I\u2019ll keep you posted. <\/p>\n

The single woman<\/p>\n

By Katie Glass<\/p>\n

\"Katie<\/p>\n

Katie Glass with her dog, Bear<\/p>\n

CARMEL KING<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I baby my dog, Bear?\u201d I wondered as I blended his warm goat milk for breakfast before squeezing us into matching jumpers.<\/p>\n

Like you, I\u2019d read this weekend\u2019s reports that now in some areas of England dogs outnumber children due to the rise of Gen Z and millennial \u201cdinkwads\u201d. Although poor Bear, a labrador, is surviving in my modest one-income family.<\/p>\n

The rise of dog-spring is dramatic now there are 13 million dogs in the UK and only 15 million kids. Some of the reasons are sympathetic: the cost of childcare, the cost of living, the price of homes with second bedrooms (not to mention the proliferation of dogs during Covid). What people find harder to stomach is that a single woman like me would choose to have a dog over a baby, and also choose to mollycoddle him.<\/p>\n

As Bear\u2019s pawrent (a Dogs Trust survey found two thirds of 25 to 34-year-olds see themselves \u201cas their dog\u2019s parent\u201d) I buy him pupcakes, puppuccinos and a wardrobe of clothes: he has a Barbie-pink raincoat, a selection of jumpers and, in most rooms of my house, his own chaise longue.<\/p>\n

His Bella & Duke raw food subscription costs more than I spend at Riverford. He spent Christmas with a red bow attached to his collar, chewing open presents.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Dogs v babies: is our love of canines causing falling birthrates?<\/a><\/p>\n

I baby him by making up nicknames for him (\u201cThe Furry Prince\u201d); by singing songs I insert his name into (\u201cLittle Bearface, Little Bearface\u201d to the tune of Little Donkey) and rocking all 40kg of him on my lap, telling him the story of how I adopted him: \u201cAnd then I drove to a rescue in Wales!\u201d I even amended my Hinge profile to state I was seeking a Bear-by daddy for him.<\/p>\n

I tried to make one of those sonograms with a picture of him in my womb, but sadly my Photoshop skills aren\u2019t up to it.<\/p>\n

Playing at being a dog parent is fun. Short of a child to buy tiny tutus or little jackets emblazoned with dinosaurs for, Bear is a surrogate baby who allows me to indulge similar whims.<\/p>\n

But seeing myself as a dog mother isn\u2019t all about spoiling him \u2014 it\u2019s also the flood of feelings I get that makes me want to care for and nurture him. That makes me get out of bed on frosty mornings and take hour-long walks in minus temperatures, or drive for days out at the beach because it brings me joy to see Bear\u2019s happiness. It\u2019s the pride I feel when Bear learns something new, and the disappointment when he ignores me again. It\u2019s being touched by knowing his vulnerability means he needs me to protect him.<\/p>\n

\u2022 We prefer our pets to partners<\/a><\/p>\n

Research suggests this isn\u2019t just my personal madness, but that as dogs have become more domesticated and cuter (with bigger eyes and flatter faces) our brains now respond to them as we do to babies. A study at Harvard University, in which mothers were placed in fMRI machines and shown images of dogs and children, found their brains similarly lit up when they saw their own human and furry offspring.<\/p>\n

Should this be surprising? As humans, we crave giving love. As a childless woman who tried but couldn\u2019t have babies, I suppose Bear is a receptacle for all the love I have to give. (Although he\u2019s less work than a human child \u2014 you can\u2019t leave a baby with a Kong full of kibble while you go out to the theatre.) <\/p>\n

I suspect this is true for other Gen Z and millennial women who have chosen not to have children. More surprising to me is the scorn with which dog mothers like me are met \u2014 far angrier than the opprobrium aimed at fathers who don\u2019t do their bit.<\/p>\n

Just this weekend the American writer Justin Murphy wrote a viral post on X admitting he can barely stomach ten minutes a day with his own toddler without his blood boiling. No wonder so many women like me would rather spend their days making cakes for dogs we can parent alone than subject ourselves to parenting a human baby, who\u2019d bind us for life to another child. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Time was when couples acquiring a dog was the thin end of the wedge pre-spawning: a test-drive to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":354241,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[59,57,58,50,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-354240","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-united-kingdom","tag-gb","tag-great-britain","tag-greatbritain","tag-news","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/354240","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=354240"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/354240\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/354241"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=354240"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=354240"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=354240"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}