Dear Eric: My husband of 45 years is a naturalized citizen that has been targeted in the past by law enforcement because of his skin color. <\/p>\n
I am struggling with anxiety and depression, afraid that he might be a target again in today\u2019s scary environment.<\/p>\n
I have shared my feelings with several lifelong close friends. These friends haven\u2019t taken the time to check in on me since I have shared this with them.<\/p>\n
I feel I have been there for them during the years as they have encountered some of life\u2019s challenges and find myself questioning whether I should continue our friendship. Do you have any advice for me?<\/p>\n
\u2013 Disappointed<\/p>\n
Dear Disappointed: Not knowing what to say shouldn\u2019t stop any of us from reaching out to a friend in need, but it\u2019s possible that they read the headlines and don\u2019t have any encouragement to offer. I don\u2019t mean to make excuses for your friends, but perhaps they feel as powerless as you do and don\u2019t know how to best be there for you, even though what you want and need is just a check-in.<\/p>\n
This might be a case where you have to be a bit more vocal and specific about the kind of support you need.<\/p>\n
It can feel counterintuitive to tell loved ones \u201cI would like for you to call me to check on me.\u201d One might think, \u201cshouldn\u2019t they know they should call me?\u201d Well, yes and no. We\u2019re all navigating our own complicated worlds and sometimes our empathy or good intentions don\u2019t fully meet the mark.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s OK for you to need more than you\u2019re getting and it\u2019ll be more useful for you to ask for what you need than to drop the friendships, which would shrink your support network.<\/p>\n
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com<\/a> or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram<\/a> and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com<\/a>.)<\/p>\n \u00a92025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC<\/p>\n