{"id":41885,"date":"2025-08-03T22:39:14","date_gmt":"2025-08-03T22:39:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/41885\/"},"modified":"2025-08-03T22:39:14","modified_gmt":"2025-08-03T22:39:14","slug":"i-just-wanted-to-look-perfect-on-my-wedding-day-but-my-fixation-nearly-robbed-us-of-our-future","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/41885\/","title":{"rendered":"I just wanted to look perfect on my wedding day… but my fixation nearly robbed us of our future"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s hardly the sort of advice you expect to get from a physician: eat more, exercise less.<\/p>\n

But that’s precisely what Cynthia Donovan’s doctor told her she must do if she were to stand any chance of having the baby for which she and her husband of four years longed.<\/p>\n

Now 39, Donovan is one of 1.62 million women in America affected by Functional Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (FHA).<\/p>\n

The condition, characterized by a cessation of periods, can cause long-term health problems including cardiovascular issues, loss of bone density which, at its worst, can develop into osteoporosis and infertility.<\/p>\n

And as Donovan learned that day in 2015, it can be brought on by too much exercise, inadequate nutrition and psychological stress \u2013 or, in her case, preparing for a wedding.<\/p>\n

She tells the Daily Mail: \u2018I\u2019d always been fit and healthy, but my desire to have the perfect body tripled from the moment I got engaged.<\/p>\n

\u2018I couldn\u2019t stop thinking, \u201cMy big day is coming up, so I\u2019ve got to look my absolute best for the photographs which will be part of my life forever.\u201d\u2019<\/p>\n

Donovan was thrilled when her boyfriend proposed in May 2010. She was 25 years old and had just completed her master\u2019s degree in science and nutrition at SUNY, Oneonta in upstate New York. It seemed like the perfect time to settle down.<\/p>\n

\"Cynthia <\/p>\n

Cynthia Donovan in her wedding dress. She says, ‘I\u2019d always been fit and healthy, but my desire to have the perfect body tripled from the moment I got engaged’<\/p>\n

\"Donovan, <\/p>\n

Donovan, who was 25 years old and had just completed her master\u2019s degree in science and nutrition when she got engaged in 2010<\/p>\n

The ceremony was set for September 2011. Donovan had 16 months to reach her goal of wearing a size two gown.<\/p>\n

She went from being an average gym goer who worked out three to four times a week to exercising up to three hours every day.<\/p>\n

She would complete two work outs in the morning and one at night, with a particular emphasis on cardio.<\/p>\n

As for food, she bulked up her meals with vegetables and seriously restricted her intake of even lean proteins such as chicken and fish and sources of \u2018good fats\u2019 like olive oil, avocado and nuts.<\/p>\n

She counted calories obsessively, limiting herself to just 1,500 a day \u2013 significantly less than the recommended 2,000 for a woman of her five-foot-one frame.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, as she fixated on her appearance, she ignored what her body was telling her about her underlying health.<\/p>\n

Her periods stopped, but she simply assumed this was the temporary legacy of years spent on the birth control pill which she had only recently stopped taking.<\/p>\n

The wedding in September 2011 was, Donovan says, \u2018magical\u2019 though in retrospect she feels a tinge of regret at how much she lost herself to what she now deems \u2018societal pressure\u2019 to look good.<\/p>\n

She and her new husband had discussed wanting kids before getting married and took for granted that they would start having a family before Donovan hit 30.<\/p>\n

\u2018It was always on the agenda for us, but we thought we\u2019d wait a few years to enjoy married life together,\u2019 she says.<\/p>\n

But, despite leaving the stress of the wedding behind, Donovan\u2019s periods did not return.<\/p>\n

And, as the months passed, it went from being something she had dismissed without a second thought to a pressing concern.<\/p>\n

She consulted her gynecologist, but was told not to worry.<\/p>\n

She attributed it to the fact that Donovan had recently stopped taking the pill and told her that post-pill amenorrhea (the absence of menstruation) is common, and can last for three to six months.<\/p>\n

But Donovan wasn\u2019t convinced. She sought a second and third opinion.<\/p>\n

A specialist diagnosed her with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), a hormonal disorder that affects fertility characterized by infrequent or prolonged menstrual cycles.<\/p>\n

\"Donovan <\/p>\n

Donovan and her new husband had discussed wanting kids before getting married and took for granted that they would start a family<\/p>\n

\"Donovan's <\/p>\n

Donovan’s gynecologist told her not to worry about her lack of periods while a specialist diagnosed her with polycystic ovarian syndrome<\/p>\n

She was prescribed Metformin, a common medication for the PCOS, underwent hormonal therapies, got acupuncture and took dietary supplements.<\/p>\n

But nothing worked.<\/p>\n

\u2018It was so frustrating because nobody could get to the bottom of what was going on,’ Donovan says.<\/p>\n

\u2018I was a wreck because I kept saying [to my husband], \u201cWhat if we can\u2019t have a baby together?\u201d or \u201cWe love each other, yet we might never be parents.\u2019<\/p>\n

But her husband was supportive and said that, if it came to it, they would try fertility treatment.<\/p>\n

Finally, in early 2015, her gynecologist referred her to a reproductive endocrinologist \u2013 a specialist in conditions relating to reproduction and hormone imbalances.<\/p>\n

He performed a battery of tests and told her the problem was not polycystic ovaries. She was suffering from Functional Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (FHA).<\/p>\n

The brain, specifically the hypothalamus, is responsible for regulating ovulation and menstruation. Not enough healthy fats, low body weight and excessive exercise can all contribute to a disruption of this cycle.<\/p>\n

The specialist suggested Donovan ate more calories and scaled down her exercise regimen if she wanted to become pregnant.<\/p>\n

She recalls: \u2018It was hard to hear at first, but it showed that nutrition isn\u2019t as black or white as some people think.\u2019<\/p>\n

She followed his advice, reducing the amount she exercised to three sessions a week and quitting her CrossFit gym membership altogether.<\/p>\n

She focused on gentler exercise such as yoga, stretching and walking.<\/p>\n

She cultivated a more relaxed attitude to food, eating an ice cream sundae if she wanted one and bulking up her meals with grains such as quinoa, drizzled in olive oil, instead of just vegetables.<\/p>\n

But Donovan\u2019s is a cautionary tale, because, while FHA is both treatable and preventable, in her case her period still didn\u2019t return within a time frame with which she was comfortable.<\/p>\n

She turned to a fertility clinic and hormonal treatment to stimulate ovulation.<\/p>\n

After three failed cycles of intra-uterine insemination (IUI) in December 2015 a fourth was successful and she found out she was pregnant.<\/p>\n

Her son, Brian, now eight, was born in August 2016.<\/p>\n

\"Donovan <\/p>\n

Donovan finally got pregnant on her fourth cycle of intra-uterine insemination (IUI)<\/p>\n

\"Donovan <\/p>\n

Donovan with her son, Brian, soon after he arrived in August 2016<\/p>\n

\u2018He was this gift,\u2019 Donovan says. \u2018I couldn\u2019t believe I was finally holding this beautiful child in my arms.\u2019<\/p>\n

And while some women rush to try and get back into shape post-partum, Donovan made a point of not doing so.<\/p>\n

She stuck to her endocrinologist\u2019s advice to take things easy, confident that it would pay off in the long run.<\/p>\n

She regained her period naturally in July 2017 \u2013 seven years after the onset of her FHA.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Just three months later, she conceived again without any medical intervention. \u2018It was as if my body had reset itself,’ she recalls.<\/p>\n

Brian\u2019s brother, Brayden, was born in September 2018.<\/p>\n

Today Donovan doesn\u2019t recognize the woman she was on her wedding day.<\/p>\n

She says: \u2018When I go through the photographs, I can\u2019t help thinking, \u201cOh my gosh, that poor girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018Her focus wasn’t even about the meaning of the wedding, it was about how she was going to look.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes, I looked great, but was I truly living? Was I truly being healthy?\u2019<\/p>\n

Now, she hopes other women will learn from her story.<\/p>\n

\"Donovan <\/p>\n

Donovan with her sons, Brian, now eight, and six-year-old Brayden<\/p>\n

\"Donovan <\/p>\n

Donovan with her young boys. She hopes other women will learn from her story<\/p>\n

She says: \u2018You don\u2019t have to micromanage everything, especially your body. Otherwise, you might miss out on the most joyous moments of your life.\u2019<\/p>\n

She feels so strongly about it, she has made it her business as a certified dietician to help others navigate FHA, its causes and its treatments.<\/p>\n

She hosts \u2018The Period Recovery Podcast\u2019 <\/a>and has teamed up with Dr Chrisandra Shufelt, Associate Director of the Mayo clinic\u2019s women\u2019s health research center in Jacksonville, Florida.<\/p>\n

According to Dr Shufelt: \u2018The menstrual cycle should be considered a vital sign and, if you\u2019re not having a regular period during your reproductive years, it\u2019s a clear indication that something isn\u2019t right.\u2019<\/p>\n

But she offers encouraging news, saying, \u2018You just need to identify the underlying cause, whether it\u2019s stress, over-exercise or under-eating or a combination. It is treatable and preventable.\u2019<\/p>\n