I don\u2019t often compare myself to Joseph Stalin, but occasionally I feel I must. In 1928 Stalin instituted the first five-year plan for developing the Soviet economy. He set tractor production targets and launched a propaganda offensive to encourage the workers The five-year plan was completed in four years. It was at a considerable human cost, but very little of that was to Uncle Joe himself. Every subsequent five-year plan had to be completed in four years, or he literally had people shot.<\/p>\n
I have a regular two-hour training<\/a> ride. It takes about an hour and fifty minutes. I might not have myself shot if it took two hours to do it, but I\u2019d certainly be a little ashamed of myself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I was reminded of things like this when a friend called by last week to chat about the performance improvements he might see from some equipment upgrades. He needs to keep up with his preferred club-run, the race-training one which averages about 20 mph, but he finds that\u2019s a little faster than he\u2019s comfortable with these days.<\/p>\n You may like<\/p>\n \u201cHow about going on the 18 mph ride?\u201d I asked. \u201cIt would be about \u00a35,000 cheaper, and you might meet a better class of person?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t be ridiculous.\u201d<\/p>\n He\u2019s simply not an 18 mph personality. There was a time when he\u2019d have ridden at 20 mph if it killed him. Now he\u2019ll ride at 20 mph if it bankrupts him. Such is age and wisdom.<\/p>\n What I enjoy about typical 20 mph club rides is that they\u2019re full of ageing racers frantically upgrading to keep up. It\u2019s a pointless arms race that must warm your heart if you are, let\u2019s say, Mr Pinarello<\/a> or Great Uncle Specialized. The riders may be getting less fit (in a lot of areas the core of any club ride is getting older) but the ride will keep doing 20 mph. Someday there will be 22 mph rides, and if I ran a major bicycle company I would sponsor them.<\/p>\n As someone who likes a time trial, I\u2019m lucky. I know more than most about credit card aerodynamics. Every time I ride a local time trial, I know how much time I could have saved with all manner of equipment upgrades. But it\u2019s one of the joys of racing against the watch that I don\u2019t actually have to buy any of them.<\/p>\n I can just subtract the appropriate time from my result. If I cover the course in 20 minutes, I knock off the 52 seconds that I know I could buy, and just explain this correction to anyone less than 52 seconds in front of me. My result is as the God of Performance intended, and I still have the money as the God of Meanness intended.<\/p>\n In a time trial this sort-of works. But in a group ride, it doesn\u2019t. You can shout after the vanishing bunch if you like: \u201cIf I bought that wheelset I\u2019d still be on the back! If I\u2019d upgraded the bike as well I\u2019d have dropped the lot of you!\u201d But you still get left behind, or worse, waited for. Your options are shopping or, perhaps more sensibly, better training. Or even just dialling down your expectations.<\/p>\n You may like<\/p>\n Or you can go a whole other way. A different friend last year messaged to ask if I knew anything about concealed electric motors. I told him I knew about a lot of rumours and one confirmed case, and that there are one or two systems that YouTubers used to create dodgy bikes.<\/p>\n \u201cCan you give me any links to the systems?\u201d he replied. \u201cIt\u2019s getting to be a struggle keeping up with the faster club run. Oh, and I don\u2019t suppose you were going to, but don\u2019t tell anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n Stalin would have been proud. He\u2019d probably have made him minister for sport.<\/p>\n