{"id":442645,"date":"2026-02-24T08:19:12","date_gmt":"2026-02-24T08:19:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/442645\/"},"modified":"2026-02-24T08:19:12","modified_gmt":"2026-02-24T08:19:12","slug":"ive-gone-to-war-with-toxic-cyclists-get-off-my-pavement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/442645\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019ve gone to war with toxic cyclists. Get off my pavement!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have gone to war with the cyclists in my neighbourhood. Not all of them, you understand; just the ones who break the law on things like steaming through pedestrian crossings when the lights are against them, or riding along the pavement.<\/p>\n

Which is almost all of them, to be fair.<\/p>\n

How did this happen? One day, I was feeling wordlessly exasperated again by the shameless lawlessness of them, the increasing vastness of their bikes combined with their flagrant, spite-addled disregard for pedestrians, the way they seem to have decided quite arbitrarily that road laws simply do not apply to them\u2026 The next, I\u2019m screaming like a mad woman at this one who\u2019d steamed up onto the pavement directly in front of me, as I made my way to the pub one evening. He\u2019d mounted the pavement, beetled along for a bit, then parked. I\u2019d given him the filthiest look eyes will allow.<\/p>\n

\"NINTCHDBPICT001061579604\"<\/p>\n

This image and below, a couple of the red light runners spotted by Polly Vernon<\/p>\n

COURTESY OF POLLY VERNON<\/p>\n

\"NINTCHDBPICT001061579597\"<\/p>\n

He said, \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cOh, I dunno\u2026 Just\u2026 Don\u2019t ride on the pavement? Maybe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Him: \u201cI wasn\u2019t going to hit you!\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWELL, AREN\u2019T I THE LUCKY ONE!\u201d<\/p>\n

Him: \u201cIT WAS ONLY FIVE SECONDS!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"NINTCHDBPICT001061579594\"<\/p>\n

Two pavement riders<\/p>\n

COURTESY OF POLLY VERNON<\/p>\n

\"NINTCHDBPICT001061592717\"<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cTHEN WHY DIDN\u2019T YOU GET OFF AND PUSH IT FOR \u2018ONLY FIVE SECONDS\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

He tutted, realised there was no way I was backing down, turned and said, sotto voce, \u201cHaven\u2019t you got anything better to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2022 London cyclists who run red lights face tougher penalties<\/a><\/p>\n

Which is when I realised: I didn\u2019t!<\/p>\n

And I went to war.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s dangerously, irritatingly lawless<\/p>\n

I live slightly down from the top end of the Holloway Road in north London. It is not at all fancy or fashionable; we have two bookies for every Greggs, and three pound shops for every 0.15 of an artisanal coffee shop. The entire area is currently in a state of emotional turmoil because a Gail\u2019s is apparently opening next to the Tube \u2014 technically a huge marker of gentrification, yet we have no clue how the addicts who congregate in the square next to the site are going to take it.<\/p>\n

\"Cyclists<\/p>\n

Cyclists commuting in central London<\/p>\n

ALAMY<\/p>\n

The Holloway Road is nearly two miles long. It attracts a great deal of traffic. Since Covid, since the wholesale adopting of pay-to-hire (or don\u2019t pay-at-all) e-bikes in 2021 (when Lime expanded in the UK), and since food delivery services such as Uber Eats and Deliveroo embedded themselves into our lifestyle, increasing numbers of cyclists have swollen the ranks of Holloway Road users. According to the most recently available data, published by TfL (Transport for London) in November 2025, cycling has increased by 43 per cent in the capital since 2019; a fact pretty evident, on this one road. Of course, this should be cause for celebration. Hoorah for people leaving their cars at home and doing something for both their health (mental and physical) and the environment!<\/p>\n

I would celebrate \u2014 if they weren\u2019t so entirely, dangerously, irritatingly lawless.<\/p>\n

Oh yeah yeah, not all cyclists, I know \u2014 like Not All Men. To be fair, I\u2019m only talking about:<\/p>\n

The illegally acquired Lime bike brigade, who cut corners and shoot up the wrong side of the road before casually swerving in front of a bus but at least they\u2019re on the right side of the road now, eh; the alarm blaring all the while so that everyone knows they didn\u2019t pay for it \u2014 a badge of honour, apparently.<\/p>\n

The cargo bike brigade, off on the school run with their kids stashed in the carrier up front, who obey not a single road law because they\u2019re parents and they\u2019re performing \u201cLook at me caring about the environment\u201d hard, so why should they?<\/p>\n

The delivery boys, with bikes so souped up \u2014 epic tyres with epic treads, massive waterproof mittens attached permanently to the handlebars, electric engines the size of small turbines \u2014 they amount to nothing short of motorbikes, but their schedule is insane and why shouldn\u2019t they tool along the pavement? If they\u2019re on the road, cars just slow them down.<\/p>\n

The Mamils \u2014 middle-aged men in Lycra \u2014 doing whatever it takes, screw whoever gets in their way, screw anyone else\u2019s right of way, to batter their PB.<\/p>\n

\u2022 More than half of London cyclists admit they often run red lights<\/a><\/p>\n

The commuters, keen to get on because it\u2019s raining (only cyclists hate the rain, didn\u2019t you know?), and anyway, they\u2019re not really ignoring that red light crossing! They\u2019re slowing down a bit, then sort of casually drifting over, like OOPSIE! I didn\u2019t even know I was doing that. My bad! And they\u2019re not really mounting the pavement for great swathes of time either \u2014 except they are. It\u2019s just that it\u2019s ever so dangerous for them on the road, drivers are so contemptuous, what else can they do?<\/p>\n

The cheeky chappies who shout, \u201cSorry love!\u201d with a wink as they shoot a red light, while I hover precariously, half on the pavement, half off, foot poised in mid-air, crossing signal bleeping encouragement along with the green man \u2014 but then the vibe shifts dramatically \u2019cos I scream, \u201cJUST STOP, WHY DON\u2019T YOU!\u201d after them, then they howl, \u201cF*** OFF!\u201d back into their slipstream, apparently under the illusion a) this will offend me to my core, andb) I won\u2019t shout it right back at them, which, of course, I do. (Oh, I am hoarse from shouting at cyclists, some days.)<\/p>\n

The ones so amped up on pre-emptive rage because they know they\u2019re busting every law known to road users, they\u2019re already tensed and furious against the possibility someone (me) will call them on it. (\u201cYou\u2019re only angry because you know I\u2019m right!\u201d is another one of my favourite things to shout. Oh and also, because my small but gobby dog objects to cyclists on pavements more even than me, barking admonishment at them, I like to say, \u201cOh, I\u2019m so sorry! I\u2019m fine with you riding on the pavement, but she thinks you\u2019re a selfish, feckless, dangerous, ignorant arse!\u201d)<\/p>\n

The one who rang his bell at me, as I crossed on my green light \u2014 because he wanted to hurry me on and over, so he wouldn\u2019t have to swerve even a tiny little bit to avoid me.<\/p>\n

The one who told me off because I had my headphones on, so hadn\u2019t heard him riding up the pavement behind me.<\/p>\n

The one who, while riding up the pavement towards me, realised I was clearly not going to hurl myself into a privet to let him pass unfettered \u2014 so he sped up, aiming his handlebars squarely at my chest, coming faster and faster at me, and when I still didn\u2019t get out of his way, swerved last minute, calling me a \u201cc***\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"NINTCHDBPICT001061579751\"<\/p>\n

Top, reiss.com. Jeans, reformation.com. Shoes, terrydehavilland.com. Earrings, sezane.com. Opening image: dress, reiss.com<\/p>\n

TOM JACKSON FOR THE TIMES MAGAZINE<\/p>\n

The one who, only this morning, shot past so suddenly and so fast on the pavement, his backdraft ruffled the fur on my small but gobby dog\u2019s tail as she trotted beside me, small and not seen and sickeningly vulnerable to a bike that heavy, that big, that fast and that uncontrolled. (Lime bikes weigh 35kg.)<\/p>\n

The one who rode his bike onto the pavement, across my path, and into my local Sainsbury\u2019s. When I asked what on earth he thought he was doing, he said, \u201cI\u2019m not talking to you,\u201d then faked a phone call in which he had an imaginary argument with a woman who\u2019d suggested he didn\u2019t ride his bike into a supermarket.<\/p>\n

I am not making this up. I couldn\u2019t make this up.<\/p>\n

And on, and on.<\/p>\n

Pavements are used like cycle paths<\/p>\n

Rough estimate: between 75-85 per cent of cyclists who use the section of Holloway Road nearest my home completely ignore pedestrian crossings when they are signalling against them.<\/p>\n

This means that those of us using crossings as pedestrians are now obliged to look right and left, right and left, all the way, as we cross. It means that, if a bigger vehicle, a bus or van, is stopped at the other side of the road, we have to crane round its edge to make sure a bike is not hurtling down beside it. As for pavement antics: I estimate about 15-20 per cent of cyclists round my way use the \u2014 wide, capacious \u2014 pavements as if they were cycle paths (when they do, actually, have good access to cycle paths). This means I have to check before I \u201cchange lanes\u201d on a pavement: move to one side of it or the other. It means I have to look both ways before exiting a shop.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m not exaggerating. Nor am I particularly neurotic. But you know that, don\u2019t you? Because you\u2019re doing the same.<\/p>\n

Cyclist behaviour has all become much, much worse in the past six months. I don\u2019t know why. It feels as if a significant proportion of cyclists have suddenly decided road laws do not apply to them.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Protect pedestrians from these deadly cyclists<\/a><\/p>\n

(A friend recently told me that, when she first moved to London from the Middle East, around a decade ago, she was charmed by cyclists. \u201cThey all wore high-vis sashes and helmets. They indicated with an arm before they made a turning.\u201d But now? \u201cI saw one woman riding a Lime bike with one hand this morning, because she needed the other to scroll on TikTok.\u201d \u201cI just saw one riding one-handed, because she had her coat draped over the other, so she didn\u2019t get it creased,\u201d said another friend. Yeah. Times have changed.)<\/p>\n

So, as I say, I\u2019ve had enough. I have gone to\u2026 Oh, if not war, exactly, then in for some everyday anti-lawless cyclist vigilantism.<\/p>\n

\"NINTCHDBPICT001061592718\"<\/p>\n

Another pavement user spotted by Polly<\/p>\n

COURTESY OF POLLY VERNON<\/p>\n

What am I doing, exactly? Photographing or videoing any example of bad biking I see, then posting it on my Instagram feed, with a caption. The captions are (forgive me) generally profane, eg \u201cPavement all-the-way wanker\u201d, over a pic of a chap happily freewheeling down a space that is definitely, by law, 100 per cent reserved for pedestrians. \u201cRed light wanker\u201d, on one pic \u2014 after another, after another. \u201cHe\u2019s probably got special dispensation,\u201d I wrote over another red light denier. \u201cPerhaps she doesn\u2019t see colour?\u201d I wrote on yet another. I managed to nail about seven on my first trip out, which was barely 20 minutes long \u2014 I was going to Pilates, I haven\u2019t made any special outings for it. Yet \u2014 and I missed far more than I got.<\/p>\n

Why is no one stopping them?<\/p>\n

It is satisfying in the way only petty, furious acts of quasi-vengeance can be. And I am furious. I\u2019m furious because it\u2019s blatantly a dangerous thing to do. Roads only function because there\u2019s a common understanding re what you can and can\u2019t do on them. You can be damn sure cyclists are relying on every other road user adhering to the law, even as they break it. Plus, as a cyclist friend (as incensed as I am by all this) says, \u201cWe often don\u2019t realise how fast we\u2019re going. I bet a lot of them don\u2019t stop at lights, because they can\u2019t. And we often forget we don\u2019t make any noise, too \u2014 so no one hears us coming.\u201d<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m furious because they\u2019re only doing it because they can get away with it, because they aren\u2019t registered.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m furious on principle. A sizeable segment of society has recently decided they don\u2019t have to abide by a law \u2014 and no one\u2019s stopping them. That\u2019s insane, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

\"Electric<\/p>\n

Commuters in west London<\/p>\n

GETTY IMAGES<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m furious because it\u2019s only getting worse. There\u2019s a \u00a320 million Lime Bike Action Plan in the works, to expand to all 33 London boroughs, instead of the current 17. And it\u2019s not just a London problem \u2014 2,000 Lime bikes and e-scooters are on their way to Birmingham in April. Others are destined for the University of Warwick.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had an excellent response to my sweary Insta campaign. People are sharing their favourite tools of vengeance against lawless cyclists, their own preferred insults. There are a lot of us \u2014 and we are all incensed. I\u2019ve only had a couple of objections \u2014 and they really didn\u2019t make me think again. In fact, they confirmed my worst prejudices.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should be petitioning for better town planning, not victimising cyclists!\u201d one said. (Yeah, that sounds superfun, I thought.) \u201cWe are so horribly at risk from drivers, we NEED to jump lights and mount pavements.\u201d<\/p>\n

And oh, there it is! Worst case scenario cyclist mentality, according to which you are both a put-upon, terribly vulnerable victim-in-waiting of the roads, but also morally superior \u2014 righteous and good \u2014 re the environment, which you are single-handedly saving.<\/p>\n

I know car drivers can be awful to cyclists<\/p>\n

Funny thing, though \u2014 I don\u2019t have a car. Nor does my partner. We\u2019re a zero car family. I walk or get public transport the vast majority of the time, very occasional Ubers, very occasional lifts with a mate. I do this because it works for me. It suits my lifestyle. Because walking ups my daily calorie burn. Because it\u2019s cheaper. Am I happy that, in the mix of all that, my impact on the environment is less harmful than it would be, if I had a car? But do I make it my identity? My get-out-of-jail-free on straight-up illegality? I DO NOT.<\/p>\n

So why do cyclists?<\/p>\n

And I know drivers of cars can be awful to cyclists. Vile and dangerous. But that in no sense makes a case for cyclists to pay that abuse, that disregard for another person\u2019s safety, forward to pedestrians.<\/p>\n

I explained all this to one Instagram objector (who, by the way, told me while, yes, she mounted pavements and ignored red lights, she did it \u201cmindfully and gently\u201d\u2026 Again, I could not make this up). She replied that not that many pedestrians are killed by cyclists (oh, well, if it\u2019s not that many\u2026) while loads are killed by cars. And we are. Far more pedestrians than cyclists are injured or killed by cars. In 2024, again according to TfL, out of 130 road fatalities in London, 66 pedestrians died, also 10 cyclists and 18 motorcyclists. But she looks at this stat and thinks we should be angrier with the drivers of cars than we are cyclists. I look at that stat and think, it\u2019s yet another argument against cyclists colonising areas designated pedestrian-only by law.<\/p>\n

Will my daft, satisfying, foul-mouthed Instagram campaign make a jot of difference to cyclists\u2019 behaviour? Probably not. What might? Serious intervention on the e-bikes, registration of privately owned bikes \u2014 and maybe a broader shaming of the red light ignorers? Maybe the kind that starts with a silly, funny, furious social media project like mine. It was a sneaky, silent cultural shift that semi-legitimised it in the first place. Maybe it can be reversed with another one. <\/p>\n

Hair: Shennia Thompson at Carol Hayes Management using Color Wow. Make-up: Iryna Tretiak at David Artists using Valentino Beauty<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I have gone to war with the cyclists in my neighbourhood. Not all of them, you understand; just…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":442646,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[4985,101,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-442645","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-cycling","tag-cycling","tag-sports","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/442645","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=442645"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/442645\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/442646"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=442645"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=442645"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=442645"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}