{"id":447681,"date":"2026-02-27T01:43:08","date_gmt":"2026-02-27T01:43:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/447681\/"},"modified":"2026-02-27T01:43:08","modified_gmt":"2026-02-27T01:43:08","slug":"how-kindness-and-compassion-make-hard-goals-doable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/447681\/","title":{"rendered":"How Kindness and Compassion Make Hard Goals Doable"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last week, a coaching<\/a> client challenged me to do 100 push-ups\u2014in eight weeks, to be able to do 100 push-ups over four sets: 40, 30, 20, 10. Of course I got to it <\/a>right away.<\/p>\n

Not because I wanted to prove myself or even because I care that much about how many push-ups I can do\u2014but because I wanted to support him.<\/p>\n

You see, he is also making a change over the next eight weeks, one that is much more personal, with higher stakes.<\/p>\n

Love-Based Goal-Setting<\/p>\n

We know how to make tiny habits by now: Set a goal, choose small steps, cue the behavior, reward the behavior. <\/p>\n

Why is it that even when we do those things, we can\u2019t seem to follow through? I think we need something bigger than habits for true transformation. And that thing is love. <\/p>\n

The Four Immeasurables<\/p>\n

In Buddhism, there are four kinds of love, described as the \u201cfour immeasurables\u201d that are hidden sources of power, motivation, and endless energy. Here is how you can use them to get to 100 push-ups, or whatever goal you want to reach. <\/p>\n

1. Kind Love (Metta)<\/p>\n

When you act from kindness, it feeds back energy to you.<\/p>\n

For example, the first semester of college is a notoriously hard season of transition and change. In a 2024 study<\/a> of 193 college students, researchers gave students a 42-item “acts of kindness checklist”:<\/p>\n

Take on extra work to lighten someone\u2019s load.
\nPut out or return a neighbor\u2019s trash.
\nMake conversation with a cashier.<\/p>\n

Acts of kindness improved their well-being and reduced anxiety<\/a> and loneliness<\/a>.<\/p>\n

You can add a little kindness to your goal-setting<\/a> and ask yourself:<\/p>\n

How can you link this change to helping others?
\nDoes this choice benefit more than just you?
\nHow can you do this with more openness<\/a>, playfulness, and care?<\/p>\n

2. Steady Love (Upekkha)<\/p>\n

At his 80th birthday, meditation<\/a> teacher Jack Kornfield said, \u201cThings are continuously out of balance against a background of perfect balance.\u201d<\/p>\n

Equanimity is finding your way to that background of balance.<\/p>\n

We find balance through repetition, consistency, and remembering our inherent OK-ness.<\/p>\n

Ask yourself:<\/p>\n

What is one consistent practice you can repeat every day?
\nWhat helps you remember that you are inherently OK (whether you reach your goal or not)?
\nWhat keeps you grounded while you make this change?<\/p>\n

3. Appreciative Love (Mudita)<\/p>\n

Mudita is being happy for someone else\u2019s progress. Neuroscientists describe this<\/a> as vicarious reward: Your brain\u2019s reward systems can activate when you see someone else succeed, especially when you feel connected to them (or see them as similar to you). <\/p>\n

Take on an abundance mindset, wish others well, and let their successes inspire you.<\/p>\n

Ask yourself:<\/p>\n

Who are you proud of?
\nWhose progress makes you feel hopeful?
\nHow can you join them (not beat them)?<\/p>\n

4. Compassionate Love (Karuna)<\/p>\n

Compassion is driven by our desire to alleviate pain\u2014our own and others\u2019. <\/p>\n

This is especially important when the effort gets hard, boring<\/a>, or uncomfortable. There will be moments when you don\u2019t feel like doing the thing. <\/p>\n

Ask yourself:<\/p>\n

What is worth being uncomfortable for?
\nWhat is worth dedicating my time to?
\nWho or what am I helping by doing this?<\/p>\n

One week into<\/a> my push-up extravaganza, my husband and son have joined the cause. We just finished 30 on my kitchen floor. Mudita all the way.<\/p>\n