{"id":449529,"date":"2026-02-28T02:36:07","date_gmt":"2026-02-28T02:36:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/449529\/"},"modified":"2026-02-28T02:36:07","modified_gmt":"2026-02-28T02:36:07","slug":"compassionate-goals-and-parenting-psychology-today-united-kingdom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/449529\/","title":{"rendered":"Compassionate Goals and Parenting | Psychology Today United Kingdom"},"content":{"rendered":"

Arguably, being a parent is the most challenging and important job a person can have; it’s a position unlike any other. Needless to say, there\u2019s no designated time you clock on and off the job, and you\u2019re on call unceasingly. There are fervent societal<\/a> views abound about how a parent is \u201csupposed\u201d to act, prompting the notion that parents must achieve perfection in their role. Flawlessness? Talk about an impossible standard, not to mention an unimaginable one. (What does perfection even look like anyway?) <\/p>\n

Let\u2019s just name this outright\u2013it\u2019s not fair. I can\u2019t imagine anyone hitting 100% (whatever that means) in any sphere of life all of the time, and certainly not in a role with no \u201coff\u201d button. On top of this, the standard of immaculate parenting<\/a> appears to sabotage itself (another point of unfairness), as research<\/a> reveals a link between feeling urged to be an unblemished parent and engaging in some parenting approaches that are less effective. Is there anything that could help parents shift focus away from being an ideal, flawless parent and toward another viewpoint that might be more sustainable and fulfilling over time?<\/p>\n

In a new study<\/a>, researchers looked at how compassionate goals<\/a> and self-image<\/a> goals are linked to how parents and their kids feel and behave. When we\u2019re aiming toward compassionate goals in our interactions with someone, we\u2019re trying to be thoughtful and considerate in the interest of being good to that person and advancing their wellness. On the other hand, when we\u2019re going after self-image goals when we\u2019re engaging with another, we\u2019re zeroing in on how we seem to that person and attempting to cultivate or hold onto a favorable impression. How would these goals compare in parenting? <\/p>\n

The researchers gave an example of how a parent might approach their child after a tough interaction. A self-image goal could lead that parent to decide not to say sorry because they\u2019re worried about admitting they made a mistake, whereas a compassionate goal could point the way toward \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d out of a desire to engage effectively and mend the disconnect.<\/p>\n

Their study showed that compassionate goals were tied to greater emotional wellness for parents, including reduced nervousness and strain and a greater sense of purpose and contentment. Parents with compassionate goals were also more apt to feel intrigued by their kid\u2019s inner world, and their children were more likely to behave well. On the flip side, the children of parents with self-image goals were less well-behaved. The study\u2019s design can\u2019t tell us that goals cause the feelings and behaviors we\u2019re talking about. Hopefully, later research will clarify that. All the same, it\u2019s still worth considering the potential upsides of giving oneself permission to let go of appearance a little more and focus on giving love, with all its imperfections. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Arguably, being a parent is the most challenging and important job a person can have; it’s a position…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":449530,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[59,57,58,50,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-449529","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-united-kingdom","tag-gb","tag-great-britain","tag-greatbritain","tag-news","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449529","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=449529"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449529\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/449530"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=449529"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=449529"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=449529"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}