When her 27-year-\u00a0old son and 24-year-old daughter moved back home, Tricia Carter decided to ask them to pay rent. The 63-year-old, who lives in south London, charges them \u00a3300 each a month to cover bills including electricity and groceries.<\/p>\n
She has a comfortable income, but their contributions help to keep the books balanced. The money is also a way to make her children aware of the financial burden of living somewhere, she says.<\/p>\n
While both her children work, their jobs are junior and not well paid, so she charges less than the market rate for a room so they can save into a pension and for a deposit for a home of their own.<\/p>\n
Choosing the figure of \u00a3300 was \u201ca bit of a finger in the air\u201d, says Carter, but it was based on what she pays for utilities, food and council tax. \u201cIt\u2019s not scientifically, or mathematically, accurate,\u201d she says. It is paid by standing order on the first of the month and they have never skipped a payment. They buy their own food and take turns\u00a0at\u00a0preparing dinner and clearing up afterwards.<\/p>\n
\u201cGenerally they don\u2019t help significantly with other chores but are happy to help out when asked \u2013 for example, with gardening, taking the bins out, or feeding cats if my husband and I are away,\u201d Carter says.<\/p>\n
\u201cI enjoy having them here. At\u00a0least one night a week, we sit down and eat a meal that we\u2019ve prepared together.\u201d<\/p>\n
Many adult children living with their parents help out with shopping or food costs. Photograph: Julien Behal\/PA<\/p>\n
Close to a quarter of parents with adult children have, like Carter, seen them move back home in recent years, according to a survey of 2,000 people across the UK for NatWest bank last April. It found young adults stay for an average of two years.<\/p>\n
This boomerang generation has been forced back home as high rents eat away at wages, and graduates struggle to get their first jobs. But as these returnees become a more common phenomenon, so are conversations about how household finances are handled.<\/p>\n
\u201cSome parents may welcome their adult children back with open arms, but the reality of higher grocery and energy bills and overflowing laundry baskets can quickly take its toll,\u201d says Alice Haine, a personal finance analyst at Bestinvest by Evelyn Partners, a financial services platform.<\/p>\n
double quotation markParents must not neglect their own financial wellbeing, and set expectations from the outset\u2019Alice Haine<\/p>\n
While some parents provide free board and lodgings, others have to charge because having several adult children back home can cause financial strain and delay retirement plans.<\/p>\n
Making sure set boundaries are in place \u2013 including financial ones \u2013 can help keep relationships healthy\u00a0and instil financial responsibility in the younger generation, says Haine.<\/p>\n
Too often, parents tend to dismiss that, she says: \u201cParents must not neglect their own financial wellbeing. They should set expectations from the outset to avoid ambiguity, and ensure [all] parties budget effectively.\u201d<\/p>\n
The idea of charging rent is one that about 60% of parents approved of, according to the NatWest survey. Haine says that while the sum asked for may not be significant, it lightens parents\u2019 financial load.<\/p>\n
\u201cAsking for a contribution towards household bills is not only reasonable but often necessary,\u201d she says. \u201cAny rent charged should ensure parents aren\u2019t left out of pocket and can continue saving and investing for retirement.\u201d<\/p>\n
Clare Moffat, left, charged her daughter a \u2018reasonable but unscientific\u2019 \u00a3350 a month while the 18-year-old lived at home. Photograph: Supplied<\/p>\n
Clare Moffat, the the head of technical and marketing compliance at the financial services company Royal London, decided to charge rent when her 18-year-old daughter deferred university for a year and chose to stay at home instead. \u201cMy husband and I had a conversation and said: \u2018What we think is good is to have an idea of what things cost and have her pay something in rent,\u2019\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
The 48-year-old, who is based in Stirling, asked her daughter to pay \u00a3350 a month for the six months she lived at the family home. Her daughter, who had a part-time job, and eventually got a full-time contract, was happy to contribute, Moffat says.<\/p>\n
The \u00a3350 went to cover food, rent, bills and being added to Moffat\u2019s car\u00a0insurance.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was an amount we thought was reasonable,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Her daughter paid it by standing order every month on her payday and never missed a payment. She used one of the family\u2019s two cars to get to work, and paid for fuel.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis was a good way to give her financial responsibilities, especially as she wasn\u2019t used to paying bills,\u201d says Moffat. \u201cEven if you can afford not to charge rent, you\u2019re setting up kids with life skills.\u201d<\/p>\n
She has made it a point to give her children responsibilities, she says. \u201cThey\u2019ve always had to do jobs around the house: empty the dishwasher, do their beds.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her daughter would do the laundry for the whole family, wash dishes, keep her room clean and make a meal once a week if she was around. She would also give family members lifts when needed and look after the house. To show her gratitude, she would pay for meals occasionally and buy gifts.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was a good arrangement,\u201d Moffat says.<\/p>\n
London-based Catherine, 28, moved home in May 2024 after finding that low pay and high rents left her with little to live on in the capital.<\/p>\n
She left her houseshare, where she paid \u00a3740 before bills, and moved in with her family. At home,\u00a0she paid roughly \u00a3200 a month for bills, and bought her own food for meals.<\/p>\n
Initially, she thought she would stay for six months, but remained longer out of necessity and because she got along with her family. \u201cI\u2019m lucky that way,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
She agrees that paying some money when moving back home is\u00a0reasonable.<\/p>\n
Bella Caridade-Ferreira says it is great to have son Jacques around. He has offered to pay rent previously, but she turned it down. Photograph: Supllied<\/p>\n
Jacques Ferreira, 29, moved back in with his parents in London last September after finishing his PhD in Norwich. Working part-time as a tutor and project manager, he covers his own daily expenses, such as getting coffee and seeing friends, but he doesn\u2019t pay his parents any financial contribution towards housing or food.<\/p>\n
He has offered to pay rent previously, but his mother turned it down.<\/p>\n
\u201cI would definitely offer again, and I know my mother would not hesitate to ask if needed,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
His mother, Bella Caridade-Ferreira, 57, says she appreciates having her son back home, especially as he helps with cooking, does his own washing, keeps their communal space clean, and supports her with her health issues.<\/p>\n
She says she is in a lucky position in that she does not need him to pay anything. She prefers that he saves up for a house deposit.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t take money from Jacques,\u201d she says. \u201cMy thing is to see my children well and happy, and I\u2019m in a privileged position that I can help with that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ferreira will stay until he finds a job that pays well enough, or needs to move to another city, she thinks. In the meantime, he can build up a financial cushion.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s nonsensical for me to pay \u00a31,200 a month [in rent] and I save\u00a0it instead,\u201d says Ferreira, who\u00a0is still hoping to get on the housing ladder.<\/p>\n
He pays his own expenses \u2013 if he is going out, for instance, or if he wants to cook for himself. His parents pay for family meals at home or out. If he notices the household is running low on something, such as milk or juice, he will buy it. And he pays for his own TV subscriptions.<\/p>\n
As for Caridade-Ferreira, she says the house is big enough to make the arrangement comfortable, and she is not bothered by her son, who is quite independent.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a family dynamic, but it\u2019s\u00a0a grown-up family dynamic,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s great to have him\u00a0around.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"When her 27-year-\u00a0old son and 24-year-old daughter moved back home, Tricia Carter decided to ask them to pay…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":450179,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[84,4176,4174,4175,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-450178","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-personal-finance","tag-business","tag-finance","tag-personal-finance","tag-personalfinance","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/450178","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=450178"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/450178\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/450179"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=450178"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=450178"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=450178"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}