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<\/p>\nRetired rugby player and Celebrity Traitors star Joe Marler on what it means to be a man in 2026, and why it’s crucial for men to tell each other they love each other<\/p>\n
Rugby star Joe Marler says: \u201cSo what does it mean to be a man? Being kind, being gentle, showing strength and vulnerability.”(Image: BBC)<\/p>\n
Joe Marler is still figuring out what it means to be a man in 2026. But the former England rugby union player and Celebrity Traitors star<\/a> is clear on what it is not. \u201cI know for certain that some things and some people out there are not what it is to be a man in this day and age,\u201d says Joe, 35, who played as a prop for Premiership Rugby club Harlequins<\/a>. \u201cYou do not look at videos of Andrew Tate<\/a> and HS Ticky Tokky (Harrison Sullivan), and think, \u2018Oh he\u2019s a man, he\u2019s telling me I should treat women like this.\u2019 No no no son. That is not a man, that is a scumbag – avoid them like the plague.\u201d Controversial online figures, both social media influencers have come under fire for their toxic and misogynistic \u201cmanosphere\u201d views.<\/p>\n Sitting down for a chat with the Mirror<\/a>, Joe continues: \u201cSo what does it mean to be a man? Being kind, being gentle, showing strength and vulnerability, knowing that vulnerability isn\u2019t weakness. I\u2019m still trying to work it out, and as long as you\u2019re open to admitting that, I think it\u2019s a good place to start. And while I’m still trying to learn what it is to be a man in 2026, I’m supporting my boys.\u201d Father of four Joe shares children Jasper, 12, Maggie, nine, Felix, six, and Pixie, four, with his wife Daisy. The couple met at school, growing up in Heathfield, East Sussex, married in 2017 and now live in Sussex.<\/p>\n READ MORE: Alun Wyn Jones’ relief after horror health scare – ‘I’m still here’<\/a><\/p>\n He is part of a new campaign with beer brand Beavertown and men\u2019s mental health charity Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), whose research has revealed that six in 10 men have never told their best friend that they love them. \u201cWhat is the point of having friends and family if you\u2019re not going to tell them that you love them?\u201d asks Joe, who presents the popular Joe Marler Will See You Now podcast.<\/p>\n Joe Marler of Harlequins acknowledges the fans with family after their sides victory during the Gallagher Premiership Rugby match between Harlequins and Gloucester Rugby at Twickenham Stoop on May 21, 2022(Image: Getty Images)<\/p>\n Joe and family<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ve seen it as being soft or weak or feminine to say, as a man, that you love your friends. We need to do it more, and normalise it. It\u2019s a lovely way of starting a conversation, and a great way of breaking the ice – it makes people feel good. I tell my children I love them all the time. Sometimes they don’t say it back, sometimes when they\u2019re in a tantrum they\u2019ll say I hate you – that\u2019s part of being a parent. But I think it\u2019s particularly important with my two boys. Men for as long as I can remember have not told other men how much they love each other.\u201d<\/p>\n When asked about his relationship with his own father, he politely declines to answer. \u201cI don\u2019t have any contact with my family,\u201d he says, before gently asking to move the conversation on. Putting pen to paper, 2020 saw the release of Joe\u2019s book, Loose Head: Confessions of an (Un)Professional Rugby Player. And in November 2024, Joe retired from professional rugby after a 17-year-long career which saw him earn 95 caps for England.<\/p>\n \u201cOn the day that I retired, I thought, well where is my pipe and slippers? Surely when you retire someone is meant to hand them to you. Retiring from professional sport should be renamed to either unemployment or career change,\u201d quips Joe, well known for his sharp wit and sense of humour. “You know the career officer you have at school, that\u2019s sort of what happens when you retire from rugby. You think, what do I do for the next 40 or 50 years if I’m lucky?<\/p>\n Joe Marler in 2024(Image: PA)<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s getting better with different support that is out there now. And you do get to plan a bit in the years before it happens. But it\u2019s very rare that as a player you get to retire on your own terms, and so I feel very lucky that I got to do that – it wasn\u2019t forced through injury or anything like that. I\u2019d had a good innings, my time was up. I wasn’t enjoying it anymore, I was flogging a dead horse.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I won’t lie, the last 14 months have been a bit of a rocky road. As much as the Traitors<\/a> was incredible and I’ve been busy off the back of it, I haven’t had a lot of time to sit down and think this is what I’m going to do for the next 40 years. Luckily I’ve got a good support network around me to help navigate that road.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe, who has 1m followers on Instagram<\/a>, credits his wife Daisy with being his rock, and has said \u201che probably wouldn\u2019t be sitting here now\u201d if it wasn\u2019t for her support through his mental health struggles. \u201cI had a breakdown in 2016, and then again in 2018 – the lowest of the lows,\u201d Joe adds.<\/p>\n Joe Marler loved doing the missions on Celebrity Traitors(Image: BBC)<\/p>\n \u201cIm not perfect, I make mistakes all the time. But my family is everything to me. My wife is incredible. He continues: \u201cMe and my 12-year-old son are going through it a little bit at the moment because we\u2019re quite similar, and she told me the other day, \u2018Neither of you have done this before. This is the first time you\u2019re trying to be a dad to a 12 year old whose hormones are rushing all through him. And this is the first time he\u2019s experienced being a 12 year old at secondary school. Give each other a break.\u2019 I was like yeah, you\u2019re pretty special – I\u2019m glad I\u2019ve got you.\u201d<\/p>\n With more time on his hands, Joe – who started an OnlyFans<\/a> for his feet in 2023 – plans to learn to swim to keep up with his children on family holidays. \u201cI go cold water dipping – it really helps with my mental health. It\u2019s one of the things that genuinely works for me. But I can’t swim, so I don’t ever go too deep. It should be on my bucket list – I need to learn how to swim for my kids. Every time we go on holiday I\u2019m like \u2018Woah not too far into the deep end\u2019 – and it\u2019s not for them, it\u2019s for me!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe appeared on BBC<\/a>\u2019s inaugural The Celebrity Traitors in October 2025, reaching the final but losing out to shock winner Alan Carr. “I absolutely love the show. I was able to watch it back as a fan and dissociate from being in it, because I hadn’t seen a lot of what went on. I was seeing it for the first time as well. It was so much fun to do and I still pinch myself and think, how the hell did I manage that? A, how do I get on the celebrity version? And B how did I get to the bloody final?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe Marler and family(Image: Getty Images)<\/p>\n He loved the missions. \u201cFor someone that generally fast forwards all the missions when I’m watching it – sorry Claudia!- they were so fun to do. Although everyone else royally left me hanging when it was time to push a two tonne horse up a hill. Stephen Fry was there as if he was walking his dog.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe made some friends for life. \u201cAny time spent in Joe Wilkinson\u2019s company was great fun, he just makes me die with everything he says and does. We got on really well,\u201d says Joe, who says even he was star struck by some of the big names on the show. I was in a privileged position to get to know these massive names – Stephen Fry, Celia Imrie – on a bit more of a human, normal level, away from them always getting pestered by everyone out in the public. I actually got to have lunch with them and talk normally, about random, often dull and mundane stuff – the weather<\/a>\u2019s alright isn’t it?\u201d<\/p>\n Another highlight was the food. \u201cEvery meal was just fantastic, and the 8kg I ended up putting on over the three weeks says enough doesn’t it?\u201d laughs Joe. \u201cBut it surprised me how emotionally intense it is. I remember watching the show and thinking why is that person crying after three days about voting this person off, or this person leaving. Why are they shouting and screaming at each other? You get in there and you think, I get it now – this is intense. It\u2019s like a social experiment x 100, disguised as a game.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe in 2017(Image: Getty Images for Harlequins)<\/p>\n When it comes to more reality TV however, he is hesitant. \u201cI loved The Traitors, and I guess you\u2019d call it reality TV, but for me it was more like a game to be part of. The idea of doing Strictly (Joe comically shudders) – I can\u2019t dance, I\u2019d never be able to dance, I’d be dreadful.<\/p>\n \u201cThen I\u2019m A Celeb – I\u2019m claustrophobic and I really like food. Maybe if I balloon in weight too much, I\u2019ll get on the phone to ITV<\/a>. Never say never. I like doing fun things and experiencing different things, but I wouldn\u2019t say its at the top of my list Celebrity Naked Attraction however\u2026 now you\u2019re talking. If they ever come knocking, sign me up.\u201d<\/p>\n *This campaign marks the third year of collaboration between Beavertown and Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), continuing a shared mission to challenge stigma and encourage open conversations about mental health. \u201cTell a Mate Why You Love Them\u201d was developed by Beavertown and CALM, produced by Strongwatch, and brought to life through activation by creative PR agency Here Be Dragons, with all partners working to help more men open up to friends and support one another across the UK.<\/p>\n![\"Joe](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/0_Harlequins-v-Gloucester-Rugby-Gallagher-Premiership-Rugby.jpg\")
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