{"id":465849,"date":"2026-03-09T11:45:11","date_gmt":"2026-03-09T11:45:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/465849\/"},"modified":"2026-03-09T11:45:11","modified_gmt":"2026-03-09T11:45:11","slug":"financial-anorexia-im-scared-of-spending-money-and-i-save-obsessively-its-ruining-my-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/465849\/","title":{"rendered":"Financial anorexia: \u2018I\u2019m scared of spending money and I save obsessively. It\u2019s ruining my life\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI used to compare prices obsessively,\u201d says Annie Robinson, 39, reflecting on her past. \u201cMoney<\/a> was just for survival and rent. If friends asked me to go to a live music show, I\u2019d say no because I feared I\u2019d need money in the future and wouldn\u2019t have enough. If I was out at dinner in a restaurant that felt expensive, I wouldn\u2019t order a main \u2013 I\u2019d just get a starter. No massages or new clothes, but just paying my bills. When I was in that headspace, self-care <\/a>meant surviving the day.\u201d <\/p>\n

While to people on a tight budget, those measures may sound standard, Robinson was earning good money at the time and could easily have afforded to spend it on any of those things \u2013 but she deliberately deprived herself from doing so. In her teens and twenties, she had long periods of her life where she\u2019d save money obsessively, underspend on things that brought her joy, and deny herself financial pleasures \u2013 regardless of how much money she had in her bank account.<\/p>\n

In other words, Robinson \u2013 who now works as a wellness coach<\/a> and helps other people free themselves from similar restrictive patterns \u2013 had \u201cfinancial anorexia\u201d, a term used to describe those who are self-denying in their attitude to money. They have an unhealthy obsession with saving money, and reduce their spending to the point where it negatively impacts their wellbeing. <\/p>\n

Vicky Reynal, author of Money On Your Mind: The Psychology Behind Your Financial Habits,<\/a> explains: \u201cLike the person struggling with the mental health disorder of anorexia nervosa, who denies themselves food in an effort to keep their body weight to its lowest, the \u2018money anorexic\u2019 denies themselves the \u2018good\u2019 things that money allows us to have.\u201d<\/p>\n

She stresses that financial anorexia is very different from simply budgeting or saving money, because while those habits are considered and balanced, underspending comes from \u201can irrational, emotional place\u201d and \u201crestricts our enjoyment unnecessarily\u201d. <\/p>\n

That\u2019s what happened to Robinson. She struggled with an eating disorder as a teenager, and found that the same patterns played out in her relationship with money. \u201cThere was something about me being restrictive with a resource. I let my anxiety manifest with food and money. I\u2019d obsess about prices; my brain did the same calculations with money that it did with calories.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy brain was trying to soothe itself at a time when my life felt out of control. Food and finances are things we make choices around every day, so I\u2019d use them to try to cope with my emotions. At times, my life got very small. I felt like I was stuck in a prison inside of myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

She\u2019s not alone. Although there is no data on financial anorexia, as the term is so new, financial planner Holly Donaldson believes it is becoming more and more common due to the volatility of the financial markets in the past year. \u201cAny time more uncertainty is introduced into someone\u2019s world, this will trigger more people to restrict themselves, some of them unnecessarily,\u201d she explains, pointing out that people might do this for different reasons, but what they all have in common is \u201cunnecessary restraint of spending behaviour to the point of deprivation\u201d.<\/p>\n

I feel bad spending money on therapy, or even on going out for dinners and to the theatre. I don\u2019t let myself enjoy anything <\/p>\n

Priya*, 35, identifies as a financial anorexic. She grew up watching this behaviour in her parents, who came to the UK in 1972 after leaving behind their homes and possessions in Uganda, after dictator Idi Amin expelled all Asians from the country. \u201cMy parents hoard money and save obsessively out of fear, and I\u2019ve done this my whole life too. Even when I earn good money, I still take the bus instead of the tube, and bring hot drinks in my thermos instead of buying flat whites. It\u2019s like I\u2019m scared of spending money.\u201d <\/p>\n

She now earns \u00a375,000 a year, and has six-figure savings (always in fixed savings accounts; she never invests in the stock market due to her fears), but she still has an attitude of deprivation and scarcity. \u201cIt\u2019s really hard. I wish I could be more relaxed like my friends, but I\u2019m constantly worrying that something will happen in the future, and I\u2019ll need this money to survive. It impacts my mental health because I\u2019m always anxious, and yet I feel bad spending money on therapy, or even on going out for dinners and to the theatre. I don\u2019t let myself enjoy anything \u2013 it\u2019s ruining my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the last year, things got so bad that Priya finally sought therapy for her financial anorexia. Her therapist advised her to document exactly how much money she has and what she earns each month, seeking clarity rather than vagueness, as well as giving herself an ideal amount to spend each month, something Donaldson calls setting aside a safe amount of \u201cfrivolous spending\u201d to spend by a certain date. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s helped,\u201d says Priya. \u201cAs an overachiever, I now try to make sure I spend the exact amount I\u2019ve set out each month, and in all different categories from self-care to entertainment and socialising. I do sometimes still feel panic if I have a lot of extra expenses in one month, but then I look at my spreadsheets and remind myself I can afford it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Reynal works with many clients who have underspending habits, and she\u2019s found it can develop for many different reasons, ranging from not feeling deserving of good things, to taking pride in deprivation, an obsession with control, or even wealth shame and survivor\u2019s guilt. <\/p>\n

\u201cIf you think you are an \u2018underspender\u2019, then the first step is to understand if your struggle is a general difficulty letting go of money (which could very well be linked to greed and anxiety, or fears about not having enough money). If those don\u2019t resonate, then ask yourself which things\/people\/events it feels easier to spend on and which feel more problematic and guilt-inducing. That will already give you a clue about whether you are \u2018classifying\u2019 expenses in your mind and what that might mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

She also encourages people to think about how they feel when depriving themselves \u2013 is it pride or shame? It\u2019s this work that allows them to understand exactly what their financial anorexia looks like \u2013 and how to free themselves from it. <\/p>\n

\"Annie<\/p>\n

open image in gallery<\/p>\n

Annie Robinson has learned to trust herself instead of living in fear (Annie Robinson)<\/p>\n

For Robinson, financial anorexia \u2013 like her eating disorder \u2013 ebbed and flowed throughout her life. She grew up in a privileged middle-class family, and had phases of financial anorexia as a teen, but it wasn\u2019t until her family had a huge financial fall in her twenties that things got worse. With the help of therapy \u2013 and becoming a mother \u2013 she finally moved away from her scarcity mindset and is now free from financial anorexia, but the journey wasn\u2019t linear.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have compassion for those periods in my life where I was in survival mode. When you go through a transition or loss and you\u2019re less resourced, those were times when I\u2019d have relapses. Like when my father died, or I had a terrible breakup. A lot of my healing came from being anchored in \u2018who am I? What do I like to do? Can I give myself permission not to just spend money on things I like, but spending time on the things I like to do for me?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cMotherhood shifted things for me, and helped me realise I could soften. I\u2019m still thoughtful because I have a tight budget, but it\u2019s important to me what I model for my five-year-old son. We talk about recycling, but also, if he loves something, occasionally we\u2019ll get it because it brings joy, and that\u2019s profoundly important to our happiness and our health.\u201d<\/p>\n

Robinson is aware that things can change and her fears can flare back up, but she knows the answers lie in trusting herself. \u201cI was laid off a year ago, and that was really scary. It was precarious: Where\u2019s rent coming from? Where\u2019s health insurance coming from? But I didn\u2019t spiral or have a relapse. Because I trust myself to take care of myself, no matter what happens. I\u2019m surprised, proud and grateful to be where I am. It\u2019s possible and I didn\u2019t think it was.\u201d<\/p>\n

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