{"id":48319,"date":"2025-08-06T16:48:15","date_gmt":"2025-08-06T16:48:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/48319\/"},"modified":"2025-08-06T16:48:15","modified_gmt":"2025-08-06T16:48:15","slug":"i-was-angry-at-the-world-damon-hill-on-pain-of-his-fathers-death-and-how-it-fuelled-his-rise-sport","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/48319\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I was angry at the world\u2019: Damon Hill on pain of his father\u2019s death and how it fuelled his rise | Sport"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cIt was awful and to this day I feel the tension that I experienced,\u201d Damon Hill says of the moment he heard on television in November 1975 that his father, Graham, the two-time Formula One world champion, had died in a plane accident<\/a>. Hill had to leave the living room to find his mother and tell her what had happened.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was like having a nuclear bomb and I dropped it on my mum. Of course it was accentuated by the fact I was 15, which is when you haven\u2019t got the defences to deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The extent of Hill\u2019s devastation is captured in a moving new Sky documentary<\/a> which tracks his decision to follow his father into motor racing and eventually match him by winning the F1 championship in 1996. Early on in the film his wife, Georgie, remembers how, when they started going out together, 21-year-old Damon seemed to be one of the saddest people she had ever met.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was angry at the world,\u201d Hill tells me. \u201cI was furious. I\u2019d had a belly-full of growing up as the son of a famous racing driver and people being interested in me because of that. I just wanted a normal life where people didn\u2019t give a damn about that and I could establish who and what I was. Georgie was unimpressed by whoever my dad might have been, and by the racing world, so she was an oasis.\u201d<\/p>\n

Six months later Georgie suddenly realised why he seemed so bereft. They drove past the graveyard where Hill\u2019s father was buried and, finally, the dam broke.<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember it like yesterday,\u201d Hill says. \u201cI thought we were going on a trip down memory lane and I\u2019d\u00a0show her where I used to live. It hit me completely unexpectedly. Until then I had moments where I wept about my dad but they were rare. But there\u2019s something about crying which soothes and having a good old sob is a good thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the film he speaks of his fleeting desire to have been on the plane with his father. Death, at 15, seemed easier than life. \u201cI\u00a0felt that\u00a0immediately after the accident,\u201d Hill says. \u201cI was very upset and I wanted to be with my dad. If that meant being on the plane that would have been fine. I\u00a0spent a lot of time next to my dad,\u00a0in the co-pilot\u2019s seat, and I loved being with him because he was a fascinating guy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Damon Hill with his father, Graham, in the garden of their Hertfordshire home, eight months before Hill Sr\u2019s fatal plane crash. Photograph: Hulton Archive\/Getty Images<\/p>\n

Did Hill have counselling? \u201cThe closest we got to that was a day or two after he died. My school chaplain arrived at our house and wanted to console me in some way. I was really touched but there was no grief counselling in those days. People hadn\u2019t even heard of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

As a kid Hill had never wanted to be a racing driver as he was smitten with motorbikes. But in his mid\u201120s he resolved to follow his father into F1. \u201cIt came from a fairly juvenile sense of loss and attempting to recover something of the past. We had lost a life, and our world, and I wanted to try and recapture that in some way.\u201d<\/p>\n

He told Georgie that, one day, he would become world champion. Hill laughs. \u201cI was always saying daft things like that. But I am determined and you need lots of determination to get up that ladder in F1.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hill was 30 when his F1 career began in 1991 as a test driver for Williams. His big break came two years later when he was promoted to race for the team alongside the newly signed Alain Prost, then a triple world champion, who replaced Nigel Mansell. There is an astonishing, if quaintly amusing, scene in the documentary where Hill films Georgie as she reads the contract as it spools out of their old fax machine. He keeps the video rolling even though he can barely believe that Frank Williams had stipulated that Hill should pay for his own flights and accommodation.<\/p>\n

Damon Hill with Georgie at Brands Hatch in November 1984. Photograph: Geoffrey White\/Daily Mail\/Shutterstock<\/p>\n

Hill smiles and says: \u201cBack then we thought faxes were space age technology.\u201d But he adds insight into the machinations of F1. \u201cFrank was particularly clever and I\u2019d said to him, because I wasn\u2019t terribly impressed by how much he was going to pay me: \u2018What about the travel?\u2019 He said: \u2018We\u2019ll pay for it.\u2019 I said: \u2018What about Georgie?\u2019 And he said: \u2018OK. We\u2019ll fix that.\u2019 Now I\u2019ve got to pay for my own travel! So you realise very quickly in Formula One<\/a> you\u2019ve got to pay attention to the detail.\u201d<\/p>\n

I tell Hill how interviewing Williams<\/a> turned out to be one of my tougher gigs. He grins sympathetically. \u201cI could never have a conversation with Frank. People used to say they\u2019d spoken to Frank and it was all lovely and I\u2019d go: \u2018Honestly?\u2019 I couldn\u2019t get two words out of him and it would dry up and he\u2019d stare at his tea. I\u2019d say: \u2018Do you want me to go now?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Hill showed incredible resolve, and great skill, to become world champion for Williams. But, near the end of that 1996 season, Williams coolly announced that Hill would be replaced the following year by Heinz\u2011Harald Frentzen. The team were about to begin a partnership with BMW and employing a German driver made business sense. Hill was axed but he clinched the championship anyway and left Williams as the team\u2019s second most successful driver, with 21 race victories, behind Mansell.<\/p>\n

Damon Hill racing alongside Ayrton Senna at Interlagos during his debut Formula One season in 1993. Photograph: Pascal Rondeau\/Getty Images<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t condemn people for having to do that when they\u2019ve got a massive company to run,\u201d Hill says. \u201cI think he did feel something \u2013 not remorse, but he was uncomfortable having done that to me. Latterly, he said something like: \u2018We should have kept you on.\u2019 It was a little late, but nevertheless appreciated. He said some nice things about me after I\u2019d gone. He called me a tough bastard, which is a compliment from Frank.\u201d<\/p>\n

The documentary offers fascinating insights into Michael Schumacher and Ayrton Senna<\/a>. Archive footage shows how Schumacher was irked by Hill\u2019s challenge<\/a>. There is a scene where, after Hill won a race, Schumacher slaps his rival\u2019s cap. It is meant to look playful but it\u2019s a petty gesture tinged with frustration and anger.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was embarrassed and didn\u2019t know how to respond to someone who had beaten him,\u201d Hill says of Schumacher. \u201cIt was an awkward moment. I tried to have conversations with him and it wasn\u2019t possible. Our values were different.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was nowhere near as good as him, and I\u2019m never going to pretend that I was. But having him as a foil brought out the most I could get out of myself, and I know what it\u2019s like to get driven absolutely to the maximum. Sometimes I was a match for him but, aged 36, it was hard. He was 26 and I was fighting the clock.\u201d<\/p>\n

Damon Hill and Michael Schumacher have a coming together at Silverstone in 1995. Schumacher branded his Championship rival \u2018stupid\u2019 after their crash, which handed the British Grand Prix to the German\u2019s Benetton teammate Johnny Herbert. Photograph: Neville Marriner\/ANL\/Shutterstock<\/p>\n

Georgie reveals how Senna, who had switched to Williams to drive alongside Hill, spoke especially kindly to her just before he died at Imola<\/a> in 1994. He told her not to worry about Damon and reassured her that he would do well with Williams.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had the loss of [the Austrian driver] Roland\u00a0Ratzenberger<\/a> the day before. Everyone was conscious of\u00a0that awful presence and I think he wanted to reassure Georgie about me and the team. It\u2019s very poignant.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hill was a pallbearer at Senna\u2019s funeral and the memory still moves him today. \u201cOh my God,\u201d he says, \u201cambassadors and presidents had come from all over South America, all over the world, to this state funeral. This was not a racing driver. This was someone who was the best thing about Brazil. At a time when they needed a hero, he was their leading light. He represented hope for Brazil and still does that today.\u201d<\/p>\n

Does any driver today carry anything like the hinterland of Senna and other F1 greats? \u201cIt\u2019s too early to say. They\u2019re still very young, in their 20s, but I think back to when you had James Hunt and Niki Lauda, Prost and Senna. They seemed different men. But that\u2019s maybe because I\u2019m getting older and policemen are getting younger.\u201d<\/p>\n

Is Max Verstappen approaching the heights of Senna and Schumacher? \u201cYes, he\u2019s in that mould. Max is disciplined and honed, trained to fight. But the whole point of the sport is to be up against a foe or nemesis who defines you. I don\u2019t think F1 has the same gravitas as the era we\u2019re talking about. From their perspective this is serious combat \u2013 but I don\u2019t know if anybody\u2019s matched up to Max\u2019s seriousness yet. Until they do, he hasn\u2019t got the foil. In the past you had to be a tough old boot to take on Alan Jones, Lauda and Hunt when he was on fire. They were brutally serious.<\/p>\n

\u201cMax and [43-year-old] Fernando Alonso are the same. Max always gives it 100%. Same with Fernando, who is cunning and clever. I wouldn\u2019t want to play cards with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Damon Hill today. He says of winning the world title at 36: \u2018I\u2019m proud of myself for having achieved it. I paid my dues.\u2019 Photograph: Sarah Lee\/The Guardian<\/p>\n

Which of the younger drivers have impressed him? \u201cOscar Piastri is interesting. He has a calmness and confidence in himself that\u2019s not overstated. Charles Leclerc is super-talented, super-quick but he\u2019s maybe too comfortable in the Ferrari. Carlos Sainz Jr [who lost his seat at Ferrari to Lewis Hamilton] has got that mettle which makes him fight in whatever position you put him in.\u201d<\/p>\n

And Lando Norris, who is locked in battle for the championship with Piastri, his team-mate, and Verstappen? \u201cLando is very talented,\u201d Hill says. \u201cHe\u2019s gifted and smart, but I don\u2019t sense he\u2019s concerned enough that he might lose it. I would be worried he\u2019s going to come off second-best to Oscar. I don\u2019t know if he realises the consequences. You just can\u2019t be beaten.\u201d<\/p>\n

In his quest to heal himself, and match his father, Hill would not be beaten in 1996. He recalls how, before a crucial race at Suzuka in Japan, he said a few words of prayer to Senna. \u201cAn extraordinary thing happened,\u201d Hill says as he remembers driving magisterially, like he had never driven before, as if he had found a mysterious way to channel the brilliance of Senna.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no real explanation for what happened other than we are constrained by our conscious brain to be cautious and our limbic system is much more capable than we ever give it credit for.<\/p>\n

Damon Hill (centre) is doused in champagne by Michael Schumacher (left) and Mika H\u00e4kkinen after winning the Japan Grand Prix at Suzuka to clinch the 1996 world drivers\u2019 championship Photograph: Susumu Takahashi\/Reuters<\/p>\n

\u201cIf we can just get ourselves out of the way, we can do extraordinary things, and making that little prayer freed me up. I couldn\u2019t find any other way of going quicker. I was going to get beaten by Michael. I wouldn\u2019t say it was an out-of-body experience because I was there in the car, but my hands and my feet were just completely free. It was like someone had suddenly taken off the handbrake.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hill became world champion, at the age of 36, and he says: \u201cI\u2019m proud of myself for having achieved it, and it\u2019s a great accolade to get to the top of any sport. I\u2019m constantly reminded of the respect that accords but I paid my dues. I\u00a0put myself through a lot to get there.\u201d<\/p>\n

HILL will air on Sky and streaming service NOW from Wednesday 2 July.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u201cIt was awful and to this day I feel the tension that I experienced,\u201d Damon Hill says of…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":48320,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[1687,372,6537,101,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-48319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-f1","tag-f1","tag-formula-1","tag-formula1","tag-sports","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48319"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48319\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48320"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}