demon voice<\/a> creeping into her throat, Erika demands to know why Dorit was so late to dinner, why she never bothers warning them, and why all the other women at the table are suddenly so quiet. \u201cI don\u2019t owe you anything other than the truth, which is, we don\u2019t like it,\u201d Erika growls. \u201cI\u2019ll say it because these motherfuckers won\u2019t. We don\u2019t like it. How \u2018bout that?\u201d Dorit doesn\u2019t seem all that surprised by the sudden turn. I\u2019m pretty sure she knew how declaring Boz her one, true friend was going to land. And Erika, much like Kyle, is not finding many vocal allies around the table. Even Rachel, who admits she doesn\u2019t do lateness, is deferential to Dorit, because she\u2019s \u201cgoing through a fuckton.\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re all going through a fuckton,\u201d Erika snaps back.<\/p>\nI\u2019m going to be honest. I\u2019ve never heard the word \u201cfuckton\u201d said as many times as it was at this dinner, and at a certain point, I\u2019m not even sure they were saying \u201cfuckton.\u201d When Dorit challenges Erika with, \u201cYou\u2019re going through a fuckton?\u201d she might actually have been saying \u201cfucktime.\u201d Which is not a word, but does sound more fun than a \u201cfuckton.\u201d Dorit \u2014 who lives to prove Bethenny wrong about playing smart and stupid at the same time \u2014\u00a0is being ridiculous by suggesting she can\u2019t possibly know about the hardships Erika is facing, though I take her underlying point that the two of them aren\u2019t actually that close. Erika is also right that Dorit is working hard to be the most aggrieved and put-upon party at the table. And the competition is fierce! Erika doesn\u2019t want to do the \u201cpain Olympics,\u201d at least not without live commentary from Johnny and Tara.<\/p>\n
We then enter a section of the fight I\u2019m going to call, respectfully, the \u201ccunt\u201d-off. I\u2019m not sure how else to describe the lobbing of that word back and forth. (\u201cCunt\u201d tennis?) \u201cWhen I said you need to work and you need to contribute, I didn\u2019t mean you need to be a cunt,\u201d Dorit tells Erika. Erika wastes no time firing back, \u201cI\u2019m the one who brought the word \u2018cunt\u2019 to this group. You\u2019re late.\u201d To be fair, that\u2019s sort of Dorit\u2019s thing! As Jennifer Tilly notes in her confessional, the c-word is much more common and much less severe in the U.K., though I\u2019d argue we\u2019re also approaching that point on RHOBH. When you say something enough times in succession, it starts to lose meaning. Just look at \u201cfuckton!\u201d By the end of this exchange, Erika has been reduced to saying \u201cDorit, you\u2019re an asshole and you\u2019re a cunt.\u201d It just doesn\u2019t have the same impact, if I\u2019m being honest, though I appreciated Rachel\u2019s \u201cI really save that word for very special occasions.\u201d As your regular recapper is fond of noting, fights on these shows are usually about the show itself, and there\u2019s a nice fourth-wall break when Erika confronts Dorit on two consecutive seasons of, I\u2019ll say it, erratic behavior. Credit where it\u2019s due, Erika sees the way Dorit wants to turn this into a competition where she gets the most sympathy, the most attention, and maybe even center diamond (over Kyle\u2019s dead body). And while Dorit may think she wins the fight by walking away and leaving Erika in tears, we all know they both need their Housewives paycheck too much to not find a path forward eventually.<\/p>\n
It does seem like Erika is actually wounded by the exchange. I\u2019ve also been known to start crying out of rage, so who can say for sure? Regardless, her reaction in the immediate aftermath is far more sympathetic than Dorit\u2019s, and yes, that\u2019s partly because she looks so glamorous in tears. (Did anyone else feel extremely misled to discover that Rachel\u2019s \u201cshe looks hot as fuck\u201d from the trailer is about Erika mid-breakdown and not Dorit storming off?) Call me naive, but I believe Erika when she says in her confessional, \u201cI\u2019ve never really felt this angry or this hurt by her before.\u201d The Pretty Mess has had two lasting connections on this show since Lisa Rinna left, and one of them has just blown up in her face. Dorit, meanwhile, cycles through a series of increasingly nonsensical and likely rehearsed lines when Kathy goes to check on her. \u201cIt\u2019s the end of the road for the generosity, the care, the kindness, the support, the loyalty,\u201d she says. \u201cAll of that shit, it\u2019s done.\u201d Note that the editors don\u2019t pull up a clip package of Dorit being the kind of friend she describes herself as, because, well, footage not found. And sure, Dorit isn\u2019t wrong that Kyle has it out for her, but she\u2019s completely misreading the situation when she dismisses her castmates as \u201ca bunch of fucking cunts.\u201d In a confessional, she says, \u201cIf Kyle\u2019s whole entire mission was to get the entire group to turn against me to somehow make herself feel better, well, you got your wish,\u201d oblivious to the fact that Kyle has done no such thing. Kyle couldn\u2019t even get the others to admit that Dorit\u2019s chronic tardiness is making them homicidal.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a dramatic conclusion to the Tuscany trip, complete with mournful confessionals about how the group is more fractured than ever. I assumed we\u2019d be heading straight to the reunion, but there was somehow still half an episode left \u2014\u00a0and, even more bafflingly, two more episodes this season. The post-trip debrief among Team Dorit happens at the cover shoot for a book that Dorit\u2019s team of ghostwriters haven\u2019t finished writing yet. \u201cHonestly it felt like there was an unprovoked attack,\u201d she tells Boz and Rachel, which I guess makes sense if you don\u2019t consider Dorit\u2019s personality to be a provocation unto itself. It\u2019s interesting to watch Boz and Rachel, two unequivocal alphas, fall in line as Dorit soldiers, but I think there\u2019s a deeper motivation at play. Both women would love to wrest control of the show from Kyle, who has sat precariously on the Queen Bee throne since Lisa Vanderpump got banished to the Land of Spinoffs. Supporting Dorit is less about thinking she\u2019s in the right and more about making sure Kyle is in the wrong. You can see the gears turning in Rachel\u2019s confessionals when she throws out barbs. \u201cI\u2019m not saying Kyle\u2019s being a mean girl,\u201d she says at one point, midway through calling Kyle a mean girl. There\u2019s a power struggle happening just beneath the surface.<\/p>\n
But that will have to wait. For now, we must attend Rachel\u2019s Studio 54 party, a celebration of her [redacted]th birthday. I respect Rachel refusing to say her age \u2014 something you can easily Google \u2014\u00a0in her confessional, as well as her \u201ccampaign against putting people\u2019s ages next to their name.\u201d But despite also being 37 forever, I\u2019m nosy, and it\u2019s important to know when there\u2019s a millennial in the Gen-X lion\u2019s den. Everyone at the party looks great in their \u201870s-adjacent attire, give or take Amanda\u2019s sparkly pink robe and aforementioned boots. And so far, the dueling factions are keeping their distance. \u201cThe last thing I need right now is to be dealing with Kyle and her growing gang of minions,\u201d Dorit notes. I feel a little bad for Sutton, who has spent the season trying desperately to ride the fence only to tumble right back into Kyle\u2019s yard. We\u2019re obviously bracing ourselves for another showdown between Dorit, Kyle, and Erika, but I think they all have too much respect for a Rachel Zoe party to actually make a scene. And ultimately, what more is there to say? The Fox Force Five as we know it is dead and buried. The only question now is what rises in its place.<\/p>\n
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