I had the pleasure of talking to Victor Carrillo Tracey, a performer in the Broadway musical The Outsiders, about the emotional and physical demands of performance, and what stays in the body after the curtain falls.<\/p>\n
In a production defined by intensity, violence, and loss, Victor Carrillo Tracey moves between multiple characters, including Paul and understudying Sodapop and Darrel, sometimes switching roles within the same day. Each night requires emotional access, physical precision, and interaction with the audience.<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing can truly prepare you for eight shows a week\u2026 for as long as the show\u2019s going to run,\u201d Victor says.<\/p>\n
The Nervous System on Stage<\/p>\n
For actors, dancers, musicians, and anyone whose work requires emotional engagement, the body is activated even if the mind knows it is just a performance.<\/p>\n
Our nervous system<\/a> cannot always differentiate between staged and actual threat. Body responses such as increased heart rate, tense muscles, enacted tears, laughter<\/a>, or rage<\/a> can be internalized regardless of context. For performers, this can create a blur between the character\u2019s reality and their own (Balan, 2027).<\/p>\n Unlike other professions where the workday can be closed, the emotional residue of performance can be challenging to turn off. The body may hold onto its heightened state unless it is intentionally discharged.<\/p>\n In emotionally intense productions like The Outsiders that require performers to deliver scenes of grief<\/a>, violence, love, and survival, the conflict on stage feels like a real, lived, physical experience in the body.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s no part of it that\u2019s not real,\u201d Victor explains.<\/p>\n A Family in a Separate Universe<\/p>\n Sustaining this level of psychological demand requires true connection and support. Through repeated and shared high-stakes experiences, scene partners become anchors for one another. On stage, they are the Curtis brothers, bound as family within the world of The Outsiders. The brain encodes the experience as real, forming emotional bonds that blur the line between performance and reality.<\/p>\n \u201cIn a separate universe, we are family,\u201d Victor says. \u201cAnd we\u2019ll always be that.\u201d<\/p>\n Dissociation as Adaptation<\/p>\n Reflecting on his Broadway debut, Victor describes a dissociative experience many performers can relate to.<\/p>\n \u201cAn actor\u2019s debut is a big deal. There\u2019s so much build-up to that one moment\u2026 something in my body that was smarter than I am shut my mind down so I could do my job.\u201d<\/p>\n When stakes are high, the body prioritizes performance over presence or reflection. The cost is that the experience may be lived on autopilot and not fully register. \u201cI don\u2019t really remember my debut,\u201d Victor says.<\/p>\n To maintain boundaries<\/a> between character and self, Victor relies on a somatic release practice after every show. \u201cI get on all fours\u2026 and just shake on an open vowel\u2026 anything I have left into the floor.\u201d This tremoring process allows him to discharge residual activation, sometimes including tears or laughter, until \u201csomething clicks\u201d and he feels himself return.<\/p>\n Co-Regulation Behind the Curtain<\/p>\n In The Outsiders, cast members actively take care of one another both on stage and off.<\/p>\n Victor recalls being supported on stage by cast members like Jason Schmidt. \u201cIn stressful<\/a> moments I feel very carried by my scene partners.\u201d During an intense moment in the rumble, a fellow dancer grounded him physically and emotionally. \u201cShe just held my head and said, \u2018Breathe, it\u2019s OK.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n These moments of co-regulation are essential in a cast where relationships are built through intense moments of exposure and trust. <\/p>\n Behind the curtain, actors reconnect after difficult scenes, stepping out of character and back into themselves. These rituals, however small, are restorative and grounding.<\/p>\n Off stage, the company actively works to separate character from self. Under the direction of Danya Taymor, actors \u201ctap out\u201d of intense scenes by reconnecting with one another. Behind the curtain, they return to themselves through decompression exercises, reestablishing boundaries between role and identity<\/a>.<\/p>\n This process mirrors what we understand in trauma<\/a>-informed care. The nervous system regulates in relationship. Even in highly performative environments, the presence of attuned others allows for recalibration.<\/p>\n The Pressure of Being Seen<\/p>\n Victor also speaks to the psychological pressures of visibility, including body image<\/a> and the fear<\/a> of not being enough.<\/p>\n \u201cI think in any arena where people are looking at you\u2026 where they are taking you in, you\u2019re going to be conscious of how you appear\u2026 that\u2019s just a part of it.\u201d<\/p>\n