{"id":53592,"date":"2025-08-08T21:42:04","date_gmt":"2025-08-08T21:42:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/53592\/"},"modified":"2025-08-08T21:42:04","modified_gmt":"2025-08-08T21:42:04","slug":"ice-man-tattooed-cant-watch-porn-man-the-human-torch-and-good-jeans-woman-politico","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/53592\/","title":{"rendered":"ICE Man, Tattooed Can\u2019t Watch Porn Man, the Human Torch, and Good Jeans Woman! \u2013 POLITICO"},"content":{"rendered":"

First there\u2019s ICE Man, played by an actual superhero, Dean Cain (who portrayed\u00a0Superman\u00a0in \u201cLois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman\u201d in the 1990s). Cain revealed that he has joined US Immigration and Customs Enforcement<\/a> (better known as ICE) to support Donald Trump\u2019s anti-immigration agenda. Cain recently made headlines for\u00a0calling the latest Superman film \u201cwoke,\u201d<\/a> after its director described the character as an immigrant. Superman was of course born on the planet Krypton and his birth name was Kal-El, so he\u2019d be exactly the sort of person ICE would be looking to deport.<\/p>\n

Next to join the group is poor old Matthew Whelan, who is now officially known as \u201cThe\u00a0King Of Ink Land\u00a0King Body Art The Extreme Ink-Ite\u201d \u2014 which makes that time Prince changed his name into a symbol<\/a> seem as adventurous as calling your child Olivia or David. He is the U.K.\u2019s most-tattooed man (and if you\u2019ve been to the British coast when the temperature has topped 15 degrees in the past couple of years, you\u2019ll know that\u2019s quite the claim).<\/p>\n

Anyway, the King Of Ink Land (etc etc) is having terrible trouble accessing<\/a> online porn (do they make non-online porn these days? Answers on a postcard) because the facial recognition technology some sites use, thanks to the U.K.\u2019s new digital rules, mistakes his heavily tattooed face for a mask.<\/p>\n

The King Of (yada-yada-yada) was also once refused a passport<\/a> because of his inappropriate name. Government departments get a lot of flak, yet that seems like an excellent decision \u2014 but it does surely provide the King (and so forth) with the requisite chip on the shoulder to make him part of the Fanatic Four.<\/p>\n

Now, this group clearly needs an element of mystery, so step forward the man who lit his cigarette<\/a> at the Unknown Soldier War Memorial in Paris! So incensed was Interior Minister Bruno Retailleau at footage of the Moroccan-born man lighting his cigarette on the flame of the memorial, which is under the Arc de Triomphe, that he promised to strip him of his French residency permit.<\/p>\n

The addition of this rule-breaking human torch is clearly going to create inter-group tension with ICE Man (and that\u2019s tension within a group, not those weird intergroups in the European Parliament<\/a>! Side-note: There used to be a kangaroo intergroup in the Parliament, set up to deal with free movement in the EU rather than marsupials).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"First there\u2019s ICE Man, played by an actual superhero, Dean Cain (who portrayed\u00a0Superman\u00a0in \u201cLois & Clark: The New…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":53593,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[29517,96,2839,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-53592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-movies","tag-declassified","tag-entertainment","tag-movies","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53592"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53592\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53593"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}