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\n\t\tAfter half a century of marriage, Caroline knew something wasn\u2019t right (Picture: Murray Sanders)<\/p>\n
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\n\t\tAfter half a century of marriage, Caroline knew something wasn\u2019t right (Picture: Murray Sanders)<\/p>\n
Retired judge Tony Scott-Gall was renowned for his intelligence and eloquence, so initially he masked dementia symptoms<\/a> that emerged in his early seventies well.\u00a0<\/p>\n If his wife Caroline ever challenged him about forgetting their plans for the day, her husband would dismiss her with: \u2018There\u2019s nothing the matter with my memory. I\u2019m just being lazy.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n After half a century of marriage, Caroline knew better.\u00a0<\/p>\n Despite the fact that he had been hiding forgetfulness and confusion behind his articulacy and excellent social skills, a number of symptoms had been emerging<\/a> since 2018. <\/p>\n Tony, who had always been an excellent driver, became frightening behind the wheel, on one occasion driving them into a ditch while on holiday in Scotland<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018And he developed very heightened anxiety<\/a>,\u2019 Caroline, 75, tells Metro.<\/p>\n \u2018We\u2019d been on holiday to Paris<\/a> and both went to the loo in a cafe. I told him I\u2019d see him back at the bar, but when I returned, he didn\u2019t see me and his panic was absolute. I\u2019d never heard such fear in somebody\u2019s voice. It wasn\u2019t like him,\u2019 she remembers.<\/p>\n When the usually socially ebullient Tony, now 80, became withdrawn in company, she knew something was very wrong.\u00a0<\/p>\n The final straw came in 2019.<\/p>\n \t\t \u2018I had chosen some lovely gold-rimmed drinking glasses as gifts for our friends\u2019 golden wedding anniversary, shown them to him and asked his opinion<\/a> on them. The following day he asked if we should get them a gift.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018I just burst into tears. I said: \u201cThere is something terribly wrong here Tony\u201d. And he just said, \u201cYes, I know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u2018I don\u2019t know at which point in his own heart he knew. I suspect it was a long time before he admitted it.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n Dementia is hard to acknowledge for Caroline\u2019s generation, she explains. Leftover stigma from older relatives has left its mark, and she knows people who still struggle to admit the truth to their friends. But Caroline knew she needed help so the next day they made an appointment with the family GP.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t\t\tHow to sign up to our 2026 Metro Lifeline challenge\t\t\t<\/p>\n This year Metro.co.uk is proudly supporting Alzheimer’s Society<\/a> for our 2026 Lifeline campaign.<\/p>\n On Saturday 13 June 2026, we\u2019re inviting our readers to take on an incredible challenge: an epic hike through the stunning Cotswolds countryside \u2014 all to help support people living with dementia.<\/p>\n Choose your distance: 25km, 50km or 100km.<\/p>\n With registration starting at just \u00a315, and fundraising targets of \u00a3150 (25km), \u00a3225 (50km) or \u00a3330 (100km), you can push yourself as far as you want \u2014 while helping fund vital support and research.<\/p>\n Whether you sign up solo or take on the challenge with friends, you\u2019ll be part of Team Lifeline, with plenty of guidance, encouragement and support along the way. Every mile you walk and every pound you raise will help make a real difference for people facing the daily realities of dementia.<\/p>\n For our ‘everything you need to know’ guide, click here<\/a> – or if you’re already raring to sign up, click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u2018My biggest fear was that I wouldn\u2019t be believed, because Tony is so articulate, and he could mask symptoms brilliantly,\u2019 Caroline, from outside Haywards Heath, Sussex, remembers.\u00a0<\/p>\n The doctor did an assessment, which Tony passed with flying colours. But to be sure, he was referred to the local memory assessment service and a few weeks later, Tony sat another test where he was given memory, language and problem solving tasks. Caroline, sitting nearby, could see he was getting most all of the answers right.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t \u2018When Tony was asked to give as many words as he could that began with the letter P, he reeled them off, culminating in him saying \u201cptarmigan\u201d, which is a game bird in the grouse family. That just made me hoot with laughter!\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n Despite her amusement, Caroline\u2019s hope was mixed with concern.\u00a0<\/p>\n The nurse said Tony \u2013 then 74 \u2013 was unlikely to be suffering from dementia, but referred him for a brain scan anyway, in January 2020.\u00a0<\/p>\n By March the couple received the heartbreaking diagnosis that Tony had Alzheimer\u2019s disease, the most common form of dementia<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018Tony had worked until he was 70. He spent the first 18 months of his retirement helping me care for my mother. We had so many plans, and suddenly you get that diagnosis and you realise your world is going to shrink. And it has. Quite rapidly.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018We knew that this disease was only going to go one way.\u2019<\/p>\n A nurse told Tony he would have to give up driving and the family GP prescribed drugs.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018Even though we\u2019d been through the assessment process, the diagnosis was a shock. Tony said not being able to drive made him feel like he\u2019d been chopped off at the knees.<\/p>\n \u2018He was shattered. He\u2019s such a clever man. And your mind tends to jump straight to the end game. He developed this fear that I would want him to go into a nursing home, which wasn\u2019t helped by the fact that we were in lockdown. So we couldn\u2019t see people.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018He was angry. He was disappointed. And I felt bereft.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Caroline knows now that Tony was harbouring one deep anxiety that he felt unable to air until he spoke to a consultant, which they had to fight to do. Eventually, they spoke to a specialist \u2013 two years after Tony\u2019s diagnosis.<\/p>\n \u2018Tony told the doctor: \u201cI am a lawyer. And I have to have the facts.\u201d And the doctor was absolutely brilliant. She showed us the scan and explained how they\u2019d come to the diagnosis, and Tony said to her \u2013 this still brings a lump to my throat \u2013 Did I do something wrong?\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t \u2018And she said, \u201cHonestly, lots of people ask me that, and the answer Tony is, no. You have just been very unlucky.\u201d\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n Although the appointment did nothing to alter the diagnosis, it did change the couple\u2019s mindset. Armed with the facts they felt empowered to do all they could to live well with dementia.\u00a0<\/p>\n So they continued to see their two adult children, five grandchildren and their large circle of friends as much as they could, went to the opera and ballet in London and kept busy.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018We tried to live fully and do the things we enjoy. We\u2019ve been open with friends and family, and they\u2019ve been wonderfully supportive and inclusive. We stay active, getting out for walks, days out, and meals, determined not to shut ourselves away.<\/p>\n \u2018We see friends often, usually for lunch rather than supper, as Tony is better earlier in the day. By evening, he\u2019s tired because his brain must have worked so hard to keep up.\u2019<\/p>\n \t\t They worked with the Brighton<\/a> and Sussex Medical School and the Dementia Consultation Group, helping to inform research and train specialists and giving them a sense of purpose in the face of an uncaring disease. And they have raised money for the Alzheimer\u2019s Society by taking part in memory walks, and Caroline has found the charity<\/a>\u2019s online resources a lifeline \u2013 especially in understanding stranger symptoms, like hallucinations.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018The other day the dog was out on the lawn, fighting its rug. And Tony thought it was a person. On another occasion he thought there was a lady with a purple hat in the garden when there was no-one there.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018And recently he was looking out of the front window and thought he was in the East End of London. That took him about two hours to come out of. And then he suddenly said, \u201cOh, I\u2019m back\u201d. So he knew he had been somewhere else.<\/p>\n \u2018My first line of defence if something cropped up that I felt was odd would be to have a look on the Alzheimer\u2019s Society website, and then would think \u2013 perhaps we do need to take this further or, it helps me understand that it is just another new symptom, of which there are many.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t The condition has accelerated recently and Tony now struggles to recognise names and faces, his mobility is compromised and he has to be shown to the loo in the home he\u2019s inhabited for 50 years.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018This disease is known as a living bereavement. Some people call it the long goodbye. I realise now that I have lost my soulmate. And that is very hard. It\u2019s a cruel disease.<\/p>\n \u2018We have, and we continue to, live well with dementia. We are very fortunate to have a lot of family and friends\u2019 support. You don\u2019t get a prognosis with dementia. Some people accelerate very quickly. Some people become aggressive or need to be sectioned. We are six years from the diagnosis, and Tony has done really well comparatively,\u2019 Caroline says.\u00a0<\/p>\n Caroline remains grateful for her own health<\/a> and instead of dwelling on the future and the things they cannot do, the couple take pleasure in little joys.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018A text from a grandchild asking you out for lunch. A thoughtful message or gesture. A sunny day in the garden. Enjoying the blossom on the trees.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2018We\u2019ve accepted this diagnosis, but we\u2019re still living well, we haven\u2019t given into it. Our world may be small now, but it\u2019s still a world of good things.\u2019<\/p>\n Arrow Arrow Arrow![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/FML-TONY_19-MSS-e0f8-e1776945185735.jpg\")
\n\t\tToy and Carol on their wedding day in 1973 (Picture: Murray Sanders)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/T2CC_26_gorilla-af0b.jpg\")
\n\t\tCaroline says that her husband\u2019s intelligence helped mask his syptoms (Picture: Supplied)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/FML-TONY_18-MSS-9065.jpg\")
\n\t\tTony became a judge in 1996 and worked until he was 70 (Picture: Murray Sanders)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/FML-TONY_20-MSS-c829-e1776951900561.jpg\")
\n\t\tThe couple always lived life to the full and continue to do so now (Picture: Murray Sanders)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/IMG-20250105-WA0000_002-5077-e1776945590557.jpg\")
\n\t\t\u2018Our world may be small now, but it\u2019s still a world of good things,\u2019 says Caroline (Picture: Supplied)<\/p>\n
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