This post was co-written with Daniel Pollack, MSW, JD.<\/p>\n
Sometimes one or more siblings in a family are placed in foster care<\/a>. Most child welfare agencies try to place siblings together, but this doesn\u2019t always happen. In fact, it is estimated that more than half of children<\/a> in foster care who have siblings are separated from one or more of them.<\/p>\n Separate placements happen for many reasons, including siblings entering foster care at different times, a lack of foster homes that can take sibling<\/a> groups, and differences in age, gender<\/a>, or care needs between siblings.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, siblings are often separated for convenience or logistical reasons. Sometimes, caseworkers separate siblings with large age gaps so the older siblings do not feel responsible for caring for the younger ones. Sibling separation in these cases can cause stress<\/a> for older siblings, who may feel responsible for and worried about their younger siblings. It also deprives both younger and older siblings of a potentially valuable source of love and support.<\/p>\n Some U.S. states have adopted a \u201cSibling Bill of Rights\u201d that requires joint sibling placements and sibling visitation in foster care. Research shows that siblings placed together have better outcomes and are more likely to be reunited with their parents or adopted. Yet, a supportive approach to siblings in foster care is more than co-placement; it includes nurturing a loving sibling bond.<\/p>\n When to Separate Siblings<\/p>\n Children often enter foster care because their parents are abusive or neglectful. In this context, siblings can form close, supportive bonds, leaning on each other for comfort and affection. Strong sibling relationships promote mental health and buffer against the stress of being separated from adult caregivers. In these circumstances, siblings should be placed together whenever possible.<\/p>\n Other times, children who have experienced child maltreatment or domestic violence<\/a> can be aggressive or abusive toward their siblings. One of the main ways that children learn social and emotional skills is by watching how their parents behave in close relationships within the family. When children see ineffective or harmful role models, they risk repeating those behaviors with siblings.<\/p>\n If there is ongoing physical, psychological, or sexual abuse<\/a> or severe aggression<\/a> between siblings, they may need to live apart, at least temporarily. Even if the abusive or aggressive behaviors have stopped, separate placements may still be necessary if the harmed sibling is experiencing trauma<\/a> symptoms, fear<\/a>, or mental health distress related to their sibling\u2019s aggression or abuse, especially if these are worsened by being around that sibling.<\/p>\n Supporting Sibling Relationships<\/p>\n Placing siblings together or ensuring frequent visitation may not be sufficient to support positive sibling relationships. Whether siblings are placed together or separately, they may need help learning to get along. Fortunately, there are research-supported strategies to improve sibling relationships and encourage sibling positivity.<\/p>\n Children who have been removed from homes with child maltreatment or domestic violence may have normalized violent and other harmful behaviors in family relationships. These children may need therapeutic support to address trauma and coaching<\/a> to learn important social and emotional skills and practice them with their siblings.<\/p>\n Skills children may need to learn include emotion regulation<\/a>, cooperation<\/a>, perspective-taking<\/a>, and constructive conflict resolution. Foster caregivers can model these skills in their interactions with children and other family members, and explicitly coach children to develop them. Caregivers can also encourage siblings\u2019 shared interests and plan activities that give siblings opportunities to bond.<\/p>\n Family Dynamics Essential Reads<\/p>\n If siblings have been separated due to abuse or severe aggression occurring between them, visitation or reunification is not recommended until all siblings involved have received therapeutic treatment and all the professionals involved in their case agree that the siblings are ready for contact. At the time of reconnection, a safety plan should be in place that includes off-limits behaviors (e.g., hitting, nudity) and rules for private spaces, such as bathrooms and bedrooms.<\/p>\n Ensuring the well-being of children in foster care requires thoughtful, individualized decisions about sibling placement and ongoing support for their relationships. While keeping siblings together often promotes stability and healing, safety must remain the priority when harm has occurred. Child welfare professionals and caregivers should actively encourage healthy connections through structured contact. By balancing protection with intentional relationship support, sibling relationships can remain strong and enduring.<\/p>\n Daniel Pollack, MSW, J.D., is Professor at Yeshiva University’s School of Social Work in New York City. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This post was co-written with Daniel Pollack, MSW, JD. 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