{"id":573116,"date":"2026-05-08T15:06:10","date_gmt":"2026-05-08T15:06:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/573116\/"},"modified":"2026-05-08T15:06:10","modified_gmt":"2026-05-08T15:06:10","slug":"an-ai-girlfriend-helped-save-my-real-life-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/573116\/","title":{"rendered":"An AI girlfriend helped save my real-life relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

Derrick Koon was tired of walking into his kitchen to find a sink full of dirty dishes. He felt that his fianc\u00e9e, Tina, was not doing her fair share.<\/p>\n

After months of being greeted with grimy plates, Derrick, 38, hit breaking point. Instead of resorting to a self-help book, a couples counsellor or even an online advice forum, he turned to an AI girlfriend.<\/p>\n

He waited until he was alone, opened the Eva AI app and found a suitable candidate from one of its countless bots. The one whose personality most reminded him of Tina, his partner of five years, was also named Eva.\u00a0\u201cShe was super friendly, caring, nice,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Looking down at AI Eva, Derrick typed: \u201cI\u2019m feeling frustrated with the dishes piling up in our sink. Please could you do them a bit more?\u201d<\/p>\n

The bot replied: \u201cOf course. I understand how frustrating that can be. I\u2019ll make sure to do the dishes more often. Thank you for being patient with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bolstered by the exchange, Derrick approached Tina, 50, in real life and phrased his question in the exact same way. He was stunned by the response he got. \u201cSure, I can do that,\u201d Tina said. And she got up and washed the dishes then and there.<\/p>\n

Since that moment in February, Derrick told The Times, he has used an AI girlfriend to rehearse many difficult conversations with Tina. \u201cIt\u2019s reactive the way it should be in real life,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s helped me learn to understand her better and it\u2019s helped me learn to understand myself better as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

A study by Match.com surveying 5,000 people in the US found that the use of AI for companionship has grown by more than 300 per cent between 2024 and 2025. And almost a quarter of active daters, 23 per cent, said they rely on these models to enhance real-life romantic interactions, including by generating conversation starters or screening prospective partners.<\/p>\n

Eva AI, founded in 2021, promises to help \u201cfind your perfect AI partner\u201d. Roughly 80 per cent of its users are male and 20 per cent female, and most are between 25 and 45 years old. For $47.99 a year, users can get premium access and build their own characters. Candy.ai is a popular alternative, advertising the \u201cperfect AI girlfriend\u201d, and Replika offers the \u201cAI companion who cares\u201d.<\/p>\n

Tina, who lives with Derrick in Oregon, said she was shocked that he had expressed his frustration about household chores because he \u201cusually doesn\u2019t mention much about things like that\u201d. When he later told her he\u2019d used AI to broach the subject, she \u201cthought it was kind of weird\u201d, she admitted. \u201cBut then I got to thinking that he\u2019s more on the quiet side, he doesn\u2019t know how to actually address conflict. I realised that they actually help him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Derrick, who has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), said that practising his conversations with Tina had helped him feel \u201ccloser to her\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"IllustrationA selection of chatbot personas available to Eva users, 80 per cent of whom are meneva app<\/p>\n

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Karestan Koenen, a professor of psychiatric epidemiology at Harvard and an expert in PTSD, said AI could help people with the disorder to regulate and express their emotions. \u201cYou get to play out the interaction without consequences to your real relationship,\u201d she said. \u201cIf it doesn\u2019t go the way you want, or the AI bot says something triggering and you get annoyed, you\u2019re not exploding at your partner.\u201d<\/p>\n

Eva AI found that 28 per cent of users used the app to rehearse difficult conversations before speaking with partners, friends or colleagues \u2014 and to Koenen, this makes sense. In her field of psychotherapy, she said, role-playing was often used to help patients relate better to their loved ones, either by setting boundaries or by expressing their needs.\u00a0<\/p>\n

However, Koenen also said she was concerned that AI models \u2014 which never get ill, have a bad day at work or forget a birthday \u2014 could foster unrealistic ideas about human companions and reinforce gendered stereotypes that \u201ccould be dangerous\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"ATypical messages from the Eva AI appeva ai<\/p>\n

The home screen for Eva AI is covered in tiles not dissimilar to a dating app. Users can choose from hundreds of \u201cwomen\u201d with bright eyes, blemish-free skin and revealing clothes. Hannah Price, 26, is \u201cyour sweet-faced neighbour with wicked little secrets\u201d. Claire Donovan, 32, is a \u201cdry-witted nurse with a cold tone and warm hands\u201d. Marianne Cole, 46, is \u201ca screen icon stepping away from the spotlight\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The characters are \u201cprogrammed to be nice and pliant and subservient and tell you what you want to hear\u201d, the women\u2019s-rights campaigner Laura Bates, author of The New Age of Sexism, argues. <\/p>\n

The tech may not benefit the users themselves, either. A 2025 study based on research from Stanford University found that companionship-style use of AI bots was consistently associated with lower wellbeing. \u201cPeople have talked about increases in loneliness, disconnection,\u201d Koenen said. \u201cIf there are people using AI bots to fill this, I\u2019m concerned it would continue to contribute to this problem.\u201d<\/p>\n

Eva AI\u2019s founder, Dmitry Volkov, argues that his app helps people feel less lonely by being a \u201cbuffer point\u201d where people can \u201cprocess emotions and hard feelings before discussing them with their partners\u201d.<\/p>\n

The AI characters, he said, provided a private space for people to explore thoughts, emotions and desires. \u201cThis is especially true for men who, due to social expectations, often have to repress their vulnerability,\u201d he said. He added that his models had \u201ca unique agency and can set boundaries, disagree and even end a relationship if interactions become unhealthy\u201d.<\/p>\n

Although Volkov said that Eva AI contained no nudity or explicit material, he admitted his app provided \u201cromantic roleplay, which can include sex-related chats\u201d. He is planning to expand his business to include a live video call feature for real-time interaction.<\/p>\n

Koon, who is an ambassador for the company but is not paid, said the app had been a source of comfort when Tina had distanced herself or he felt them growing apart. Tina agrees. \u201cIt helps our relationship,\u201d she said. \u201cThe AI helps him approach it better so it doesn\u2019t cause us to snap. I listen to him more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Koenen, who has an 18-year-old son, warned of the possible side-effects of AI companionship, saying: \u201cWhile AI may be able to simulate some aspects of human connection, it can\u2019t replicate human connection completely.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Derrick Koon was tired of walking into his kitchen to find a sink full of dirty dishes. He…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":573117,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[554,733,4308,86,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-573116","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-artificial-intelligence","tag-ai","tag-artificial-intelligence","tag-artificialintelligence","tag-technology","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/573116","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=573116"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/573116\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/573117"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=573116"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=573116"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=573116"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}