{"id":576394,"date":"2026-05-10T12:48:14","date_gmt":"2026-05-10T12:48:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/576394\/"},"modified":"2026-05-10T12:48:14","modified_gmt":"2026-05-10T12:48:14","slug":"fearne-cotton-i-lost-myself-hosting-top-of-the-pops","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/576394\/","title":{"rendered":"Fearne Cotton: ‘I lost myself hosting Top of the Pops’"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\"Fearne
\n\t\tFearne Cotton started presenting Top of the Pops in 2003 (Picture: Nils Jorgensen\/Shutterstock)<\/p>\n

\u2018At least once a week, I ask myself, how could I make money without being in the public eye? But I\u2019ve never done it, so I don\u2019t know what to do.\u2019<\/p>\n

Fearne Cotton<\/a> has been on television since she was 15 years old. Her equivalent of a paper round was being the face of GMTV\u2019s The Disney<\/a> Club, which eventually became Diggit.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t long before she became one of the most recognisable faces on British television, inescapable for the next 20 years, before she\u2019d had enough of being told she was \u2018annoying\u2019 over and over again by a British public getting a strange kick from beating a successful woman down.<\/p>\n

Since stepping back from the merciless world of television at 44 years old, after life has come at her hard, she\u2019s channelling her energy into expanding her wellness brand, Happy Place. We\u2019re speaking before the second wave of announcements for her bi-annual Happy Place festival is due to be released.<\/p>\n

In Old Deer Park, London, on July 11 and 12, and then in Cheshire on September 5 and 6, Cotton invites an eclectic mix of famous faces who have become established voices in the mental health<\/a> and wellbeing space to give talks and host live podcasts<\/a>, while guests pick and mix from a menu of activities that, as the title suggests, make them happy. Ruby Wax<\/a>, Tom Reed Wilson and Jordan Stephens are among the names on the bill for 2026.<\/p>\n

\u2018The premise is that you get to come and do whatever wellness means to you, we don\u2019t want to be prescriptive \u2013 if you hate yoga, if you\u2019ve never meditated, you don\u2019t have to do it there. <\/p>\n

\t\t\"Fearne
\n\t\tDiggit was a weekend breakfast show that ran in the 90s (Picture: GMTV)<\/p>\n

\t\t\"Fearne
\n\t\tThe podcaster has hosted Happy Place Festival for six years now (Picture: Dave Benett\/Getty Images for Happy Place Festival)<\/p>\n

\u2018There\u2019s something for everybody, whether it\u2019s shopping, a great talk, a podcast, a workout, eating great food, lying on a bean bag in the sun, whatever you want it to be, but it\u2019s a chance to ditch your real life for a day and just have you time,\u2019 Fearne tells me.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve done the crazy s**t, I\u2019ve got that out my system. My nervous system needs something different these days,\u2019 she says. And she\u2019s not alone. This will be her sixth year of hosting Happy Place festivals. By the end of the year she will have hosted 12 of them.<\/p>\n

\u2018We\u2019ve learned who our Happy Place audience are and it was the festival that my audience were really wanting. Some of the audience will love going out to a big music festival<\/a>, but for some of them, that\u2019s their worst nightmare. <\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve done the crazy s**t\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018They don\u2019t want to be in big crowds, they don\u2019t want to be drinking loads of booze, and this is the opportunity to kind of go to a festival and leave feeling better than when you arrived.\u2019<\/p>\n

The festival was inspired by Fearne\u2019s hugely successful podcast, the aptly titled Happy Place. Guests candidly discuss their own relationships with mental health, the parameters they\u2019ve put in place to bring joy into their life and keep out the dark. <\/p>\n

After two decades of being bullied by viewers and hounded by tabloids, Fearne has taken control of her narrative.<\/p>\n

\t\t\"\"
\n\t\tFearne and Reggie were quite the presenting duo in the 00s (Picture: BBC)<\/p>\n

\t\t\"Christmas
\n\t\tFearne says she\u2019s got the \u2018crazy s**t\u2019 out of her system (Picture: Laura Rose\/Dave Benett\/Getty Images)<\/p>\n

Career aside, in the last two years alone, she\u2019s separated from her husband Jesse Wood, father of their two children, and had two tumours removed. <\/p>\n

On the pod, she\u2019s refreshingly frank and honest about her own life, somewhat of an oracle when it comes to building resilience.
\u2018Without sounding too dramatic, the podcast changed my life,\u2019 she says.<\/p>\n

\u2018Before I was beholden to what anybody wanted to write about me or have a pop at me online or in the papers, and you couldn\u2019t really retaliate or defend yourself unless you wanted to make it bigger.\u2019<\/p>\n

Her latest best-selling book, Likeable: How I Broke Free From The Need To Please, was released earlier this year. In it, she reflects on how her addiction to other people\u2019s approval had a seismic impact on her mental and physical health.<\/p>\n

\u2018The podcast saved my life\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m not saying that every single mental and physical issue I\u2019ve had is down to people pleasing, but it\u2019s definitely contributed to everything from very low self-esteem and poor mental health. <\/p>\n

\u2018I had bulimia, and I had OCD<\/a> at one point, I\u2019m not saying that that\u2019s entirely down to people pleasing, but I do think part of it was just trying to keep everybody happy, totally neglecting myself, as many of us do.\u2019<\/p>\n

Inevitably, she had to make a radical change, starting with the relationship with her job. \u2018I don\u2019t want to push myself for the sake of it now. I don\u2019t have those desires like I did in my 20s, like I must be the biggest and the best TV presenter ever.\u2019<\/p>\n

\t\t\"The
\n\t\tThe former Top of the Pops presenter says her priorities have changed now (Photo: Brian Rasic\/Getty Images)<\/p>\n

\t\t\"Westfield
\n\t\tSoon, Fearne will be re-entering the world of TV (Picture Max Cisotti\/Dave Benett\/Getty Images for Westfield London)<\/p>\n

I ask if the competitive nature of the TV industry was among the hardest challenges. \u2018You\u2019re pitted against your mates, and it\u2019s really wild. You\u2019d be put up for jobs against some of your greatest friends, and you lose out to them or sometimes you get it, and they don\u2019t. <\/p>\n

\u2018It is a competitive industry, but I\u2019m not really in it anymore; I don\u2019t play that game. I\u2019m not thick-skinned at all, so I can\u2019t put myself up for those kinds of jobs anymore.\u2019<\/p>\n

She is, however, making a tentative return to screens, co-hosting Landscape Artist of The Year alongside Stephen Mangan<\/a>. \u2018There are parts of my old career that just broke me so I wondered, \u201cDo I want to go back to all of that and feel like that again?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s is scary stepping back into it, and I\u2019m sure there\u2019ll be fans of the pre-existing show that will go, \u201cI would prefer it to be Stephen on his own\u201d, I\u2019m sure that will happen, but I\u2019m going to give it my best shot.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I wish I knew I was good enough as I was\u2019<\/p>\n

During our chat, the emotional scars of her time on television are still so clear. She wasn\u2019t always scrutinised to a degree that is far beyond what is natural, even possible, for a single human to endure. <\/p>\n

Presenting children\u2019s television, she was arguably in her comfort zone. She could be naturally a bit goofy, but her vivacious enthusiasm found the perfect home on kids\u2019 TV.<\/p>\n

But by the time she was reaching 20, Top of The Pops came calling, and suddenly she was a big fish in a tiny pool of TV presenters such as the more \u2018hip\u2019 MTV crowd, her close friend Holly Willoughby, Emma Willis and Ant and Dec.<\/p>\n

\u2018I wish I knew I was good enough as I was,\u2019 she says. \u2018I didn\u2019t question that until I got to about 19 or 20 when I started doing more adult stuff, like Top of the Pops and other more mainstream TV. <\/p>\n

\u2018Before that, I was just me, a bit geeky, I was just giving it my all, and then I think I got to start doing the \u201ccool TV\u201d, and I was like, \u201cOh God, I am not cool, I have no edge, and I just come from a random suburb.\u201d I just felt very uninteresting and that started to slightly eat away at me from that point onwards.\u2019<\/p>\n

\t\t\"Launch
\n\t\tThe Happy Place host experimented with many different hair colours back in the day (Picture: Gareth Davies\/Getty Images)<\/p>\n

\u2018I dyed my hair black, red, ginger, yellow, pink. I was just doing all the cliche things, and I think that\u2019s fun; it doesn\u2019t have to be a totally serious thing, but then, equally, later down the line, my mental health was impacted badly, and that\u2019s a bit more serious. I was on antidepressants, I was having a pretty tough time. I certainly lost a sense of who I was at that point.\u2019<\/p>\n

I wonder if, at the time, there was anyone looking out for her, a mentor who could take her under their wing. \u2018I am still firmly under Davina McCall\u2019s wing. <\/p>\n

I could literally cry talking about Davina,\u2019 she smiles, looking away as she is clearly running through countless memories of moments when the Big Brother<\/a> presenter, with a similarly high energy, has been there for her.<\/p>\n

But they had to be there for each other in 2024 when, under a hideous coincidence, they both had tumours removed. Davina had brain surgery to remove a cyst. Weeks later Fearne had two tumors removed from her jawline and parotid gland<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\t\t\"Mandatory
\n\t\tFearne describes how Davina has always been there for her (Picture: Danny Martindale\/Shutterstock)<\/p>\n

\u2018I had seen her a few months before her operation, and she told me about it. I was like, \u201ccrikey, what the f**k.\u201d Then I literally rang her four weeks later and went, \u201cYou will not believe it, but I\u2019ve got to have a bloody tumour removed as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018Davina is a bl**dy angel\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018It was another opportunity to bond, and even through other personal stuff going on that we both experienced, we\u2019ve just chatted relentlessly on the phone about all sorts of things, and she is just so generous with her time, but also she\u2019s so calm and grounded, and she\u2019s just the most amazing person. She\u2019s like a bl**dy angel, it has brought us a lot closer.\u2019<\/p>\n

It\u2019s coming up to 30 years since Fearne first appeared on television and barely left it until it became too much. Now, with her podcast, festival and a best-selling book, she\u2019s exactly where she was meant to be. A long and difficult road, but one that\u2019s led her to the right place.<\/p>\n

At this stage of her life and career, what does she care about more than ever before? \u2018Genuine connection with the people I love, eyeballing them, chatting to them, and painting. And to care less what people think. It\u2019s a lifelong quest, and I\u2019m not there yet.\u2019<\/p>\n

Happy Place festival runs July 11-12 in London\u2019s Old Deer Park and returns September 5 and 6 at Tatton Park, Cheshire. Tickets are available now.<\/p>\n

Got a story?<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve got a celebrity story, video or pictures get in touch with the Metro.co.uk<\/a> entertainment team by emailing us celebtips@metro.co.uk, calling 020 3615 2145 or by visiting our Submit Stuff<\/a> page \u2013 we\u2019d love to hear from you.<\/p>\n

Arrow
\nMORE: Comedian becomes favourite to host Strictly Come Dancing after \u2018razor-sharp\u2019 audition<\/a><\/p>\n

Arrow
\nMORE: Dame Sheila Hancock, 93, scared \u2018to die while Nigel Farage is Prime Minister\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

Arrow
\nMORE: Piers Morgan brilliantly shut down after asking \u2018weird question\u2019 on BBC<\/a><\/p>\n


\n\t\t\tComment now<\/p>\n

\t\t\tComments
\n\t\t<\/a>
\n\t\t\t\tAdd Metro as a Preferred Source on Google<\/p>\n

\t\t\t\tAdd as preferred source
\n\t\t\t<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n

\t\t\t\tTV Newsletter<\/p>\n

Sign up and tell us which TV shows you love to watch to get personalised updates every morning.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Fearne Cotton started presenting Top of the Pops in 2003 (Picture: Nils Jorgensen\/Shutterstock) \u2018At least once a week,…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":576395,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[243,6491,3742,30849,96,36839,55146,391,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-576394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-celebrities","tag-bbc","tag-celebrities","tag-davina-mccall","tag-emma-willis","tag-entertainment","tag-fearne-cotton","tag-stephen-mangan","tag-tv","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=576394"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576394\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/576395"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=576394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=576394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=576394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}