{"id":584701,"date":"2026-05-15T02:36:08","date_gmt":"2026-05-15T02:36:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/584701\/"},"modified":"2026-05-15T02:36:08","modified_gmt":"2026-05-15T02:36:08","slug":"how-sports-friendships-can-protect-mental-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/584701\/","title":{"rendered":"How Sports Friendships Can Protect Mental Health"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recently caught up with Kevin Love to talk about the power of friendship<\/a> through sport. Long before he became one of the most visible voices in men\u2019s mental health, basketball gave him a place to express himself. It shaped his identity<\/a>, gave him structure, and offered a sense of emotional safety. But as Love has made clear through publicly sharing his story, the game of basketball was not enough to save him from the depths of depression<\/a> and anxiety<\/a>. What ultimately helped protect him was not just being on a team, but the friendships that sport offered him.<\/p>\n

As founder of the Kevin Love Fund, Love\u2019s public conversations have shifted from solely challenging mental health stigma<\/a> toward active skill-building. His most recent project, The Friend Effect, launched during Mental Health Awareness Month and invites young people to think intentionally about friendship as a mental health skill. That idea is well supported by research: the social aspect of youth sports is central to why young people join, stay, and benefit (Howie et al., 2020).<\/p>\n

When Sport Is Home, But You Still Feel Alone<\/p>\n

Love has said, \u201cFriendship saved my life. And I mean that literally.\u201d<\/p>\n

What has made Love\u2019s story so impactful in the sports world is that it disrupted a common myth about athletes: that success, visibility, and constant contact with other people are enough to protect someone from loneliness<\/a>. Love describes a much more complicated reality.<\/p>\n

He talked with me about \u201cfeeling the depths of anxiety and loneliness and not knowing where to turn,\u201d even while living inside the vibrant ecosystems of locker rooms and classrooms. He shared that while sport can give people an outlet for emotional expression, without real connection, it can still feel extremely isolating and lonely.<\/p>\n

Being surrounded is not the same thing as \u201cbeing seen,\u201d as Love put it.<\/p>\n

For many athletes, sport becomes a first language. Love described the basketball court as his first love, a safe space, and a place where he could express anger<\/a>, sadness, anxiety, and depression before he had words for any of it. The court helped shape his identity. It gave him a sense of rhythm, purpose, and release. But even in highly connected sport environments, athletes can still feel deeply alone.<\/p>\n

Research on friendships in sport shows that these relationships often extend across school, leisure, and social media<\/a>, becoming part of identity formation and belonging, not just performance (Dalen & Seippel, 2021). But as Love\u2019s story demonstrates, sport culture can also leave athletes hiding in plain sight, still expected to perform while struggling internally.<\/p>\n

What Friendship Added That Sport Alone Could Not<\/p>\n

What friendship provided, Love said, was a space to be vulnerable without having to ask for permission. In his view, real friendship is not about perfect language or polished advice.<\/p>\n

Instead, \u201cjust show up,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Be there for me.
Wrap an arm around me.
Sit with me.
Ask me what I need.
Hold the space.
Be in it with me.<\/p>\n

\u201cBe in the room with someone when they are isolated, feel lonely, or feel like they\u2019re on an island. Non-spoken language between the two of you can be really healing,\u201d said Love.<\/p>\n

That is one of the most clinically important parts of Love\u2019s message\u2014and of The Friend Effect. Being present for others in the midst of their struggles aligns with broader mental health guidance emphasizing support, listening, responsiveness, and staying connected even when you do not have the perfect answer.<\/p>\n

It also fits what we know about male athletes in particular. Men and boys in elite sport often face pressure to appear tough, self-contained, and emotionally unshakeable. Stigma and fear<\/a> of seeming weak can make honest disclosure, even among close teammates, much harder. Love\u2019s words put lived experience to that research: friendship ultimately created a space where he did not have to ask for permission to be vulnerable.<\/p>\n

Ryan, Time, and the Work of Real Friendship<\/p>\n

My conversation with Love was especially compelling when he talked about his childhood<\/a> best friend, Ryan Shepherd. He did not romanticize their friendship. Instead, he described both of them as \u201chardened,\u201d and said that over time, they became more emotionally mature and developed better language to express themselves to each other. Love recalled that they shared common struggles, including anxiety, anger, family pain, and internal battles.<\/p>\n

What makes the friendship work with Ryan? Love answered with one word: \u201cTime.\u201d<\/p>\n

Love described a combination of effort over the course of a 20-plus-year friendship and scar tissue that had to heal between them as the foundation of what they have today. \u201cFriendship takes a lot of work. It is not passive. You need to establish tools, show up for each other, and have tough conversations,\u201d he shared. <\/p>\n

Seeing each other struggle and choosing to show up in those moments is what has allowed the pair to get each other through some pretty difficult days.<\/p>\n

What Love Wishes Young People Learned Earlier<\/p>\n

When I asked Love what he wished someone had taught him earlier about healthy relationships, he pointed to the importance of shared interests and play. He said that while he always had sports, he also experienced connection through music, games, hobbies, humor<\/a>, and creative outlets like film and writing.<\/p>\n

Love described friendship as part of identity formation: \u201cAs you are figuring out who you are in the world, friends ultimately become a part of that process.\u201d<\/p>\n

Love\u2019s reflections on a \u201cplay-based childhood\u201d are important here too, especially as young people experience different levels of access to organized sport. He described getting outside, going to local fields, and taking chances with friends in the Pacific Northwest as some of the experiences that taught him some of life\u2019s most important skills:<\/p>\n

Why the Friend Effect Matters in Sports Settings<\/p>\n

Love has long advocated for recognition of mental health as a part of overall health in athletes. The Friend Effect takes this one step further by emphasizing that asking for support is a form of strength, not weakness, and that \u201creal connection matters more than popularity.\u201d<\/p>\n

Love says that, at baseline, he hopes young athletes take three things from The Friend Effect:<\/p>\n

Growth: Friendship helps young people learn who they are and who they want to become.
\nResilience: Strong friendships help young people get through setbacks, pressure, and difficult moments.
\nSupport: Real friends remind young people that they do not have to struggle alone.<\/p>\n

He also offered me one of the clearest summaries of healthy friendship: \u201cFriendships are built on trust, consistency, and honesty, and showing up for each other not just when things are good, but when things aren\u2019t easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

That message is exactly why The Friend Effect is designed for middle school, high school, college, and athletic settings. While decades of research suggest that the quality of our relationships strongly shapes long-term health and happiness<\/a> (Waldinger & Schulz, 2023), too many young people are taught how to perform without ever being taught how to choose healthy friends and ask for help.<\/p>\n

Kevin Love\u2019s story reminds us that sport can open the door to belonging. But friendship is what often carries people through. Not popularity. Not status. Not being surrounded.<\/p>\n

A trusted teammate.
A best friend.
Someone who knows how to show up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I recently caught up with Kevin Love to talk about the power of friendship through sport. Long before…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":584702,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[59,57,58,50,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-584701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-united-kingdom","tag-gb","tag-great-britain","tag-greatbritain","tag-news","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=584701"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584701\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/584702"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=584701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=584701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=584701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}