{"id":597799,"date":"2026-05-22T10:12:11","date_gmt":"2026-05-22T10:12:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/597799\/"},"modified":"2026-05-22T10:12:11","modified_gmt":"2026-05-22T10:12:11","slug":"i-would-take-my-mums-beatings-again-to-end-up-where-i-am","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/597799\/","title":{"rendered":"‘I would take my mum’s beatings again to end up where I am’"},"content":{"rendered":"

Linda Perry was five months into filming a documentary when her life was thrown into turmoil. She hadn\u2019t exactly planned to make a film about herself: the frontwoman of 4 Non Blondes and hugely successful songwriter to the stars (Pink<\/a>, Christina Aguilera, Courtney Love<\/a>, Adele<\/a>) had merely agreed to let her friend record some studio footage for social media content. \u201cHe just said, \u2018Can I come and film you and your process of songwriting?\u201d Perry says. \u201cBut then things started happening.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s an uncharacteristic understatement. Towards the end of 2022, Perry was diagnosed with breast cancer. Shortly afterwards, her mother, who had dementia, became gravely ill and died four months later, just as Perry was recovering from a double mastectomy. \u201cAnd then my meltdown,\u201d Perry adds, referencing an all-consuming artistic and personal identity crisis. \u201cIt was a crazy year.\u201d The friend who was filming \u2013 Don Hardy, a producer \u2013 \u201csaw a clear documentary where I was lost and in my own spin out\u201d.<\/p>\n

The situation was made even more fraught given Perry\u2019s family history. Her mum had abused her as a child, which Perry describes as \u201cfully traumatic and dramatic and abusive emotionally, mentally, physically\u201d. So inadvertently, Hardy\u2019s film, Let it Die Here \u2013 which has inspired Perry\u2019s solo album of the same name, her first in 27 years \u2013 became a moving, raw, unfiltered document of grief, suffering, survival and resolution. \u201cIf the documentary was about me and my vanity and how amazing I am, I would never have let that happen,\u201d she says. \u201cBut it\u2019s about way more than just me. It\u2019s so honest and real.\u201d<\/p>\n

Perry, on video call from LA, is one of America\u2019s great songwriters. 4 Non Blondes only released one album at the height of America\u2019s alt-rock explosion \u2013 1992\u2019s Bigger, Better, Faster, More! \u2013 but it had huge influence. With feminist and queer empowerment to the fore \u2013 Perry performed on Letterman with a guitar that had the words \u201cdyke\u201d and \u201cchoice\u201d written on it \u2013 the album sold seven million copies, spawned the MTV mega anthem \u201cWhat\u2019s Up?\u201d and made Perry an icon. <\/p>\n

Not that she makes a virtue of identity. \u201cLet me just make this as clear, or queer, as possible. Me being gay has nothing to do with anything. But if you want to go there, I\u2019m a single mum, gay Latino woman.\u201d She laughs. \u201cI mean, I got a lot of stuff on me right there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"StudioLinda Perry\u2019s band 4 Non Blondes released only one album in 1992, but another will be released after the band reformed last year (Photo: Paul Natkin\/Getty)<\/p>\n

Perry says \u201cWhat\u2019s Up?\u201d will never be beaten in terms of its impact. \u201cHave I written songs that I feel are better? Yeah, of course. But it doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s going to be received better.\u201d Yet her run of hits in the noughties, where she became the go-to songwriter for pop stars seeking an alternative edge, ran it close: \u201cGet the Party Started\u201d by Pink, Gwen Stefani\u2019s \u201cWhat You Waiting For?\u201d and, perhaps best of all, Aguilera\u2019s ballad \u201cBeautiful\u201d. There\u2019ve been Grammy nominations and in 2015 an induction to the Songwriters Hall of Fame; and this week Perry received the Special International Award at the Ivor Novello Awards.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not just her musical abilities that make her such a respected figure: Perry is admired for her no-nonsense independent spirit. \u201cI mean, I\u2019m a badass. I\u2019m powerful. I know that. My mom was very, very tough. So I\u2019m tough.\u201d When I say lots of women in the music industry can often feel undermined and undervalued, Perry gives it short shrift. \u201cI consider that a weak way to look at things. I\u2019m not undermined, and I\u2019m not undervalued at all. I\u2019m actually feared. Men are very intimidated by me when I walk into a room. My energy enters a room way before I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Which is precisely what makes seeing her in such distress in the documentary all the more moving. Vulnerability is there in Perry\u2019s songs \u2013 \u201chonestly, most of my power comes from me being insecure and vulnerable\u201d \u2013 but she says at times the documentary was difficult for her to watch. She is shown in her studio post-surgery, and, at the end, in tears after she performed \u201cWhat Lies With You\u201d, an anthemic song about her mum: she wrote the music the night before filming, and the lyrics that morning (\u201cI\u2019m holding on cos I just can\u2019t say goodbye\/I saw heaven in her eyes\u201d). \u201cIt\u2019s so powerful to me what happened in that room in such a short period of time.\u201d<\/p>\n

One distressing scene sees Perry go to film herself on her laptop to promote her EqualizeHER project<\/a> (to help women access careers in music). But then a Supertramp song comes on through the speakers, the childhood memory sparking a breakdown: Perry continues to dance while in floods of tears, talking inaudibly. \u201cI don\u2019t know what happened. All I know is that I had some sort of meltdown.\u201d She sent the video to Hardy immediately, who had asked Perry to also shoot footage for the film. \u201cWhen I saw that on the big screen, I almost went into shock. It was a blackout of emotions, and seeing that scene was so embarrassing and so ridiculously honest and vulnerable.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"NEWLinda Perry performing in New York City earlier this year at a Love Rocks NYC benefit concert (Photo: Taylor Hill\/Getty)<\/p>\n

In another scene, the question of her purpose in life \u2013 as both a woman and artist \u2013 completely overwhelms her. She tells me that years of absorbing other artists\u2019 personalities, feelings, ways of working \u2013 \u201cif you\u2019re wearing a jean and T-shirt, I put on your jean and T-shirt\u201d is how she puts it \u2013 has adjusted her sense of self. \u201cI\u2019m a workaholic. And my mind is spinning. My heart is spinning. Everything\u2019s spinning. Within that you get buried in all this other stuff that it gets hard to find out \u2013 where are you in this picture?\u201d<\/p>\n

The backdrop to this is childhood trauma. When she was growing up in San Diego \u2013 before she found an escape through music, via going to live with her older brother \u2013 Perry tried to kill herself with tranquilisers. She was 16. When the doctor told her mum and recommended treatment, she ignored the advice and did nothing. <\/p>\n

Throughout the documentary, Perry seemed torn between denouncing such actions and seeking validation from her mother that had never come. \u201cYeah,\u201d she agrees, \u201cand I think that would be one of the things that I hope people can relate to. That relationship with your parents is very complex. My mum being a hard woman wasn\u2019t really her fault. Her parents were hard on her. I mean, I couldn\u2019t give a f**k about my dad. I loved him and whatever, but his mistakes were his, and I was invisible to him. But my mum, I admired. She\u2019s so powerful and strong, and what a survivor. And I wouldn\u2019t trade any of that hard living for anything. I would take the beatings all again to end up where I am today.\u201d<\/p>\n

She says her mum\u2019s death doesn\u2019t change her perspective at all. \u201cShe did all those things, you know? So it doesn\u2019t take it away just because someone dies. I still feel the bruises from that.\u201d But there was a happier ending. Perry was able to bond with her mum over the last four months of her life; she lived in Perry\u2019s house, and they slept in beds next to each other as she acted as her carer. It was, says Perry, \u201cthe most incredibly beautiful thing that could have ever happened. I got closure. So many people don\u2019t get that. This is a hard thing to say, but my mother dying was the best gift she ever gave me. Because I\u2019m free.\u201d <\/p>\n

But that freedom brings its own issues, she says. \u201cWho am I without the villain in this picture? Who am I without someone to fight? Who am I without someone to blame? Who am I? I\u2019m battling myself now. But it\u2019s definitely way lighter, I\u2019ll tell you that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"LOSPerry with Rhodes, her daughter with ex-wife Sara (Photo: Ella Hovsepian\/Getty)<\/p>\n

The album Let It Die Here tries to answer all those questions across 17 tracks. Like the documentary, it is a powerful, at times uncomfortable listen. She describes it as \u201clong, dark and depressing, and so thoughtful and emotional\u201d. It is designed to lay the ghosts of the past to rest. \u201cThe goal of the album is to let it die here, let all that shit go so you can move forward.\u201d <\/p>\n

It holds all of Perry\u2019s conflicted emotions, sometimes, as on \u201cIs That All You Got\u201d and \u201cI Am Daughter\u201d, within the same song. \u201cIt\u2019s as if this record is a split personality and they\u2019re all just showing up without my acknowledgement.\u201d With \u201cFeathers on a Storm\u201d, she is taking responsibility for her future happiness. \u201cWe need to stop trying to make other people change, and we have to find the change within ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

A Perry solo album has been a long time coming. Why? \u201cBecause I\u2019m scared,\u201d she says, which is a surprising answer. \u201cI\u2019m a sensitive person. I\u2019m a big contradiction.\u201d She says it\u2019s been fun, but she\u2019s been using the artists she\u2019s worked with as a shield. \u201cI\u2019ve been hiding behind people.\u201d But increasingly she wanted more. \u201cI was getting bored of being a producer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Last year Perry reformed 4 Non Blondes<\/a>; \u201cWhat\u2019s Up?\u201d is so enduring it recently soundtracked a viral TikTok lip-sync craze. Perry says the sentiment is eternal. \u201cWhat is happening with the world today, like what the f**k is going on? There\u2019s always some jackass f**king something up.\u201d Perry has written a new 4 Non Blondes record, a \u201c90s rock, dumb and fun\u201d album she is excited about, due next year.<\/p>\n

She seems to be enjoying taking centre stage again. At the end of the documentary, her ex-wife, the actor Sara Gilbert, says that she hopes from now on Perry is able to \u201cmake her art with more joy and less suffering\u201d. <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, totally,\u201d says Perry. \u201cAnd since my mum passed away, I do feel like I\u2019m a little more at peace and not having to make things so hard. There is an easiness that\u2019s happening that I can receive. It\u2019s like, \u2018Oh, I get it now.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

The album \u2018Let It Die Here\u2019 is out now. The documentary \u2018Let It Die Here\u2019 will be screening at Olympic Studios, London, on 21 June<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Linda Perry was five months into filming a documentary when her life was thrown into turmoil. She hadn\u2019t…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":597800,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[96,2580,128,14809,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-597799","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-music","tag-entertainment","tag-interviews","tag-music","tag-music-interviews","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/597799","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=597799"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/597799\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/597800"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=597799"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=597799"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=597799"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}