{"id":608227,"date":"2026-05-28T09:41:21","date_gmt":"2026-05-28T09:41:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/608227\/"},"modified":"2026-05-28T09:41:21","modified_gmt":"2026-05-28T09:41:21","slug":"woman-shares-her-therapists-life-changing-mental-health-advice-run-the-dishwasher-twice-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/608227\/","title":{"rendered":"Woman shares her therapist’s life-changing mental health advice: ‘Run the dishwasher twice’"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cRun the dishwasher twice\u201d might sound like strange mental health<\/a> advice, but a viral post<\/a> is proving that it\u2019s actually quite helpful.<\/p>\n

Danielle Wunker, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor, shared a story on her Facebook page that is resonating with people who struggle with mental health issues. It originally came from an answer from Kate Scott on Quora<\/a> to the question \u201cHas a therapist ever told you something completely unexpected?\u201d<\/p>\n

It reads:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I was at one of my lowest (mental) points<\/a> in life, I couldn\u2019t get out of bed some days<\/a>. I had no energy or motivation<\/a> and was barely getting by. I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn\u2019t have much to \u2018bring\u2019 to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.<\/p>\n

\u2018What are you struggling with?\u2019 he asked. I gestured around me and said \u2018I dunno man. Life.\u2019 Not satisfied with my answer, he said \u2018No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?\u2019<\/p>\n

\"depression,A woman is unhappy at a party. Photo credit: Canva<\/a><\/p>\n

She almost didn\u2019t say it out loud<\/p>\n

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn\u2019t want to say it. I wanted to have something more substantial.<\/p>\n

Something more profound.<\/p>\n

But I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

So I told him, \u2018Honestly? The dishes. It\u2019s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN\u2019T do them because I\u2019ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can\u2019t stand and scrub the dishes.\u2019<\/p>\n

I felt like an idiot even saying it.<\/p>\n

What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I\u2019m whining to my therapist about dishes?<\/p>\n

But he nodded in understanding and then said:<\/p>\n

\u2018Run the dishwasher twice.\u2019<\/p>\n

\"loadingA woman loading the dishwasher. Photo credit: Canva<\/a><\/p>\n

I began to tell him that you\u2019re not supposed to, but he stopped me.<\/p>\n

\u2018Why the hell aren\u2019t you supposed to? If you don\u2019t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist.\u2019<\/p>\n

There are no rules<\/p>\n

It blew my mind in a way that I don\u2019t think I can properly express. That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times. I felt like I had conquered a dragon.<\/p>\n

The next day, I took a shower lying down. A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the f**k they fit. There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again. Now that I\u2019m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.<\/p>\n

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:<\/p>\n

There are no rules.<\/p>\n

Run the dishwasher twice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor me it is not exactly that there are no rules, but I ask myself \u2018Whose rules are these?\u2019 \u2018Do I want them to be mine or can I come up with better ones?\u2019 No rules might work for some folks, but I like a little structure, the structure I supply and can alter if it is not working.\u201d Sam wrote in the comments.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is brilliant! Thank you for sharing that profound story. Isn\u2019t it amazing how often we miss the faulty assumption that is stymying us? I\u2019m glad to hear you are in a much better place now,\u201d Charlie added.<\/p>\n

Motivation often follows behavior<\/p>\n

The therapist\u2019s advice to the woman follows a psychological principle<\/a>: motivation often follows behavior<\/a>. So, when you don\u2019t feel motivated to scrape off the dishes, by simply doing part of the act, putting them in the dishwasher, you are promoting your rewards system to create genuine motivation. Simply taking one step can motivate your nervous system<\/a> to go further or help you rebuild a healthy routine.<\/p>\n

Anyone who has been in a mental or emotional place where even the most basic, mundane tasks feel overwhelming<\/a> understands the wisdom of this lesson. Dishes might seem like such a minor detail of life, but those kinds of minor details can be the straw that breaks the camel\u2019s back mentally. If you\u2019ve never stared at a basket of laundry that would take three minutes to fold and thought, \u201cNope, can\u2019t do it. Not now. Maybe not ever\u2026\u201d then you may not need this lesson, but there are millions of people who appreciate the express permission to let go of the rules in our heads about how things have to be done.<\/p>\n

Adjusting expectations and arbitrary ideas<\/a> about how something works is incredibly freeing and can provide a seemingly temporary fix for a seemingly insurmountable problem. Oddly enough, that temporary fix can be the bridge that moves someone from being unable to cope with daily life to functioning on a somewhat normal level.<\/p>\n

Why this advice works, according to psychology<\/p>\n

Mental health is such a tricky thing to manage, and many of the tools for managing it run counter to what we might expect. That\u2019s what therapists are for\u2014to help us step outside the box of our own brains, adjust our thoughts and behaviors to create greater possibilities for ourselves, and give us permission to reject the negative voices in our heads try to keep us locked in unhelpful or unhealthy patterns.<\/p>\n

Even when that unhelpful pattern is as simple as letting the dishes pile up instead of running the dishwasher twice.<\/p>\n

This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u201cRun the dishwasher twice\u201d might sound like strange mental health advice, but a viral post is proving that…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":608228,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[126561,3275,126562,102,126572,126563,126564,1906,126565,6623,11636,126566,126571,369,126567,16047,126568,8667,126569,56,126570,54,55],"class_list":["post-608227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-mental-health","tag-arbitrary-rules","tag-depression","tag-great-advice","tag-health","tag-insurmountable-problems","tag-licensed-professional-counselor","tag-load-the-dishwasher","tag-mental-health","tag-mental-health-advice","tag-mentalhealth","tag-motivation","tag-no-rules","tag-psychological-principle","tag-psychology","tag-quora","tag-self-care","tag-stack-of-dishes","tag-therapy","tag-therapy-session","tag-uk","tag-unexpected-therapist-advice","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/608227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=608227"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/608227\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/608228"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=608227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=608227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=608227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}